THE BEASMAN UofL shocks UNC
WELL HOOTY HOOTY HOO…THE CARDINAL BIRDS CAUGHT ‘EM A WORM. WOW! US BIG BLUE NATION KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS REEEEAAAALY IMPRESSED THAT BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS GOT EM A BIG WIN AGAINST THEM TURD HEELS. WHAT DID Y’ALL DO, SEND KATINEENER POWELL TO SPEND ALL NIGHT DOIN NASTY STUFF WITH THE NARTH CARAMALINER PLAYERS? (laffs) DID KENNY JOHNSON SHOW UP AND START HANDIN OUT HOUSE PAYMENT MONEY TO THEM TURD HEEL PLAYER PARENTS? (laffs)

I WAS JUST KIDDIN ON FRIDEE WHEN I SAID I WAS PULLIN FOR THE TURD HEELS…US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS HATE NARTH CARAMALINER. BUT WE ALSO HATE Y’ALL SO IT’S TOO BAD IT WEREN’T A TIE! (laffs) AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE BEAT US SOME VANDERSMELT, AND WE GONNA WHOOP JARJUH AND EVERBODY ELSE TO GO THIRTY SEVEN AND THREE! THIRTY SEVEN AND THREE! CATS GONNA WIN IT ALL CUZ BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN, YOU DIRTY FILTHY MOUTH LARRY DADGUM MINNER.

YOU JUST BETTER MAKE SURE YOU DON’T MIS-GUNOUNCE THE NAME OF MARTIN LUCIAN KING LIKE THAT NEW YARK GUY DONE DID OR RICKY JONES GONNA GIT YOU FIRED! (laffs) I LOVE IT! HOW DO YOU STAY EMPLOYED WHEN THEY GOT REAL RADIO GUNOUNCERS OUT THERE WHO SHOULD HAVE YOUR JOB. MATT JONES IS THE BEST BROADCASTIGATOR IN KENTUCKY, AND HE KNOWS HOW TO SAY MARTIN LUCIOUS KING, MARTIN LAWRENCE, MARTIN THE MARTIAN, AND MARTIN POOTER KOOTZ WITHOUT MESSIN EM UP! (laffs)

HEY LARRY, MY GREAT GRANDSON GOT HIM ONE OF THEM FANCY VIDEO GAMES FOR CHRISTMAS AND I FOUNT OUT SOMETHIN REAL NEAT ABOUT IT…IT WORKS! (laffs) IT’S CALLED A NINTENDO SWITCH!

TURNS OUT IT’S GOT A SWITCH ON IT THAT WILL SWITCH THE U OF SMELL GAME OFF EXPN. (laffs) JUST CLICK THE SWITCH AND – POOF! – THE U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS GAME DISAPPEARS OFF NATIONAL T.V. SO US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS DON’T GOTTA WATCH U OF SMELL BEATIN THE TURD HEELS! (laffs) I LOVE IT! – POOF! – BYE BYE CARDINAL BIRDS! (laffs)

THIS COULD BE A MUST-HAVE THANG FOR ALL KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS TO HAVE SO ANYTIME U OF SMELL STARTS GITTIN LUCKY, — POOF – AWAY GO THE CARDINALS AND ON COMES SOMETHING THAT U UH KAY FANS LIKE…LIKE A FISHIN SHOW, OR HEE HAW, OR SQUARE DANCIN. ANYTHING OTHER THAN SEEIN U OF SMELL HAVIN A GOOD TIME. SO I MADE Y’ALL DISSER-PEAR OFF EXPN ONCE I WAS SURE THAT NARTH CARAMEL WASN’T GONNA COME BACK AND HUMILERATE LOSERVILLE. (laffs) I’M GONNA USE THIS NINTENDO SWITCH TO CHANGE ALL KIND OF STUFF. WHEN SOME SNOOTY NEWS LADY IS DOWNIN PRESIDENT TRUMP – HIT THE SWITCH – MAKE HER DISAPPEAR AND PUT ON A PATRIOTIC FIREWORKS SHOW. (laffs) I LOVE THE SWITCH! NOW WHENEVER U OF SMELL IS GITTIN A BEATDOWN LIKE THE KENTUCKY GAME, THEY GOT ANOTHER SWITCH ON THERE TO SHOW EXTRA CLIPS OF TOOTHLESS, BRAINLESS, NECK TATTOO, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK CARDINAL FANS CRYIN THEIR SAD CARDINAL TEARS. (laffs) SO I’LL BE USIN THAT ONE ON YOUR NEXT GAME. (laffs)

BUT OK, LITTLE BROTHER. YOU DONE HAD YOURSELF ONE GOOD DAY BY BEATING THEM NARTH CARAMALINER FRAUDS. BUT Y’ALL GO BACK TO HUMILERATION STATION ONCE YOU GOTTA PLAY DUKE! (laffs) WELL LARRY, IMMA GO GIT IN LINE FOR ANOTHER BINNY SNELL AUTER-GRAPH SECTION. HE CHARGES $20 FOR EVER AUTER-GRAPH AND I DONE PAID HIM TO SIGN MY FOREHEAD, MY NECK, AND MY MAN BOOBS SO AS SOON AS MY SOCIAL SCUR-IDDY CHECK COMES I’M GONNA BUY ME A “SNELL YEAH” TRAMP STAMP TATTOO DOWN ON MY LOWER BACK. THATAWAYS, EVER TIME I TOOT I CAN JUST PULL UP MY SHIRT AND TELL THE WORLD “SNELL YEAH!” (laffs) AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

Had dinner with an awesome owner and general manager, Dimitri Gianakopoulos and Manos. They have that PHD; Passion, Hunger and Drive. Love working with them! pic.twitter.com/c9HfFtZaKt

— Rick Pitino (@RealPitino) January 13, 2019