THE BEASMAN the audit of uk dominance
OH, BIG WHOOPTY DO. U OF SMELL BASEBAW GOIN TO THE COLLEGE WORLD SERIOUS WHERE THE CROWD IS LESS THAN ONE TENTH OF THE BIG BLUE MADNESS CROWD. IS Y’ALL SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL CONVICTS REALLY GONNA ACT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT A STUPID BASEBAW GAME? IT’S NO WONDER THAT EVERBODY IN YOUR FILTHY GHETTO TOWN IS ON HEROIN CUZ GETTING HIGH IS THE ONLY WAY ANYBODY CAN SET THROUGH NINE INNINGS OF BORINGNESS.

THE ONLY SPORT THAT MATTERS IN THIS STATE IS BASKETBAW AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU PENCIL NECK, BAD BREATH, CROSS EYED CARDINAL BUTT KISSER. I’D RATHER KILL MYSELF THAN HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE BASEBAW IS INNERESTIN AND THAT’S HOW ALL OUR GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT FANS IS.

THAT’S WHY THE WORLD SERIES IS IN OMAHA CUZ THAT’S THE MOST BORING CITY IN AMERICA. I HOPE YOUR WHOLE CARDINAL CARAVAN RUNS OFF THE ROAD SWERVIN TO MISS COWS IN DOWNTOWN OMAHA.

BASEBAW. WHAT A JOKE. WHAT Y’ALL GONNA BRAG ABOUT NEXT, BEATIN U UH KAY IN PING PONG? INSTEAD OF ACTIN LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT A GAME FROM THE CIVIL WAR DAYS, HOW ABOUT YOU AST YOURSELF WHY COACH CAL KEEPS DOMMERATIN SLICK RICK IN RECRUITIN YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR? Y’ALL PAY HIM MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR FIRST ROUND FADE OUTS IN MARCH MADNESS WHILE COACH CAL TAKES THE CATS TO THE FINAL FOUR EVER YEAR! ADMIT IT, LARRY. YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK IS WARSHED UP AND BOBBY PETRINKO DONE SPIT THE BIT LAST YEAR WHEN MR. HEISMAN TROPHY FUMBLED THE BAW AND LET U UH KAY HUMILERATE HIM. Y’ALL SUCK IN THE SPARTS THAT MATTER…BUT HEY! BASEBAW! OH WOWWWWWW! HOW BOUT Y’ALL SPEND THIS SUMMER GIVIN U OF SMELL WHAT IT REALLY NEEDS, A ENEMA TO GIT RID OF ALL THE THIEVES STEALING ALL THE FOUNDATION MONEY.

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I BET Y’ALL GOT MORE FBI AGENTS ON CAMPUS THAN YOU GOT STUDENTS. THEM FBI AGENTS GONNA FIND THE GUY WHO NUKED THE PRESIDENT’S COMPUTER AND PUT HIM RIGHT IN PRISON NEXT TO BERNIE MADOFF. AND THAT LADY WHO SENT ALL THEM EMAILS SAYIN “HIDE THESE HERE EMAILS AND LET’S MAKE SURE THE MEDIA CAINT FIGGER OUT HOW MUCH MONEY WE IS STEALIN.” WOW! SHE’S A REAL GENIUS, TOO. I BETCHA SHE GOT A U OF SMELL DIPLOMA CUZ SHE’S CLEARLY AN IDIOT. WHAT IS WE GONNA FIND OUT NEXT, THAT U OF SMELL IS SIPHONIN OFF MONEY FROM THE BRIDGE TOLLS, PARKING METERS, AND CHURCH COLLECTION BASKETS?

IS YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK GITTIN FREE RENT UP ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? AIN’T NO MUCKETY MUCK FROM U OF SMELL CAN PAY FOR HIS DINNER CUZ WHEN HE REACHES FOR HIS WALLET HE REALIZES HE’S BEEN PICKPOCTED BY ONE OF THE OTHER UPSTANDING U OF SMELL MUCKETY MUCKS SETTIN AROUND THE TABLE.

YOU FIT RIGHT IN WITH THOSE CARDINAL THIEVES CUZ YOU BEEN EMBEZZLIN JOKES FOR YEARS. I HOPE THIS INVESTERGATION PROVES THAT YOUR STUPID RADIO SHOW IS GITTIN PAID OFF BY THE FOUNDATION TO PROMOTE U OF SMELL JUST LIKE CAPTAIN SUNTAN’S SHOW. THEN CLEAR CHANNEL GOTS TO FIRE YOU AND PUT MATT JONES ON IN YOUR PLACE. HE IS HILARIOUS! TODAY ON HIS RADIO SHOW HIM AND HIS CAST OF FANBOYS WAS SINGIN THE EN-TIRE U OF SMELL AUDIT REPORT TO THE TUNE OF “I BEEN WORKIN ON THE CHAIN GANG.” I LOVE IT.

COACH CAL, HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY, HE SENT OUT A TWITTER TWAT THAT SAYS HE IS PRAYING FOR U OF SMELL TO SURVIVE CUZ YOU CARDINALS IS THE ONLY GUARANTEED VICTREE ON OUR SCHEDULE. THIS HERE AUDIT COMBINED WITH YOUR UPCOMING NC2A DEATH PENALTY SURE IS GOOD FOR BIDNIZ…THAT IS, IF YOU’S A BAIL BONDSMAN OR A FILTHY, LYIN, SOULESS DEE-FENSE ATTORNEY. ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS GONNA KEEP A RUNNIN’ TALLY OF U OF SMELL LIES THIS SUMMER. AS SOON AS DR. RAMSEY PLEADS NOT GUILTY, WE CAN ALL SAY: “THERE’S THE FIRST ONE!” BY THE TIME ALL YOUR CRIMINAL CARDINAL LEADERS GET ARRESTED FOR STEALING AND PLEADIN NOT GUILTY, I BETCHA THE COUNT IS GONNA BE FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH!