THE BEASMAN cats still Top 20
(laffs) HEY LAREEEEEE! LARRY DADGUM MINNER! (laffs) I BET YOU AND ALL YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL BUDDIES THUNK I WAS GONNA BE SAD ABOUT THE CATS LOSIN, BUT NAWWWWWWW. WE ALL GOOD! (laffs) THE U UH KAY WILDCATS IS STILL TOP 20, STOOPS IS STILL THE BEST COACH U UH KAY EVER HAD SINCE BEAR BRYANT, AND BINNY SNELL STILL GONNA WIN THE HEISHMAN TROPHY. (laffs) AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE PUSHED THEM AGGIE BOYS TO OVERTIME AND OUR KICKER DONE AS GOOD AS HE COULD. (laffs) WE AIN’T MAD. U UH KAY STILL GONNA PLAY IN A NEW YEAR’S DAY BO.
OUR QUARTERBACK IS A LITTLE BIT CRAZY CUZ HE GOT HIS BELL RUNG LAST WEEK SO NOW WE GOT US A WEEK OFF TO GIT BETTER AND GO SMACK VANDERSMELT UPSIDE THE HEAD! (laffs) MEMBER BACK WHEN U UH KAY PLAYIN VANDERSMELT WAS A TOSS UP? IT AIN’T THAT WAY NO MORE! NAWWWW. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS A NATIONAL FOOTBAW PIRE AND VANDERSMELT IS JUST A BUNCH OF EGGHEAD NOBODIES WHO LIKE SCIENCE AND STUFF. (laffs) U UH KAY IS A FOOTBAW SCHOOL.
NOW COACH CAL IS STILL THE KING OF U UH KAY BUT FOR RIGHT NOW IT’S ALL ABOUT FOOTBAW. PLUS, WE IS WAITIN TO SEE IF THAT F.B.I. TRIAL MENTIONS THE WILDCATS GIVIN MONEY TO REE-CRUITS. I MEAN, IF LOSERVILLE HAD TO GIVE A HUNDERD THOUSAND FOR A SLUG LIKE BRIAN BOWTIE, JUST IMAGINE HOW MUCH COACH CAL’S ASSISTANTS GOTTA GIVE TO GIT #1 RECRUITS. (laffs)
COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – COACH CAL AIN’T NEVER GONNA GIT CAUGHT CUZ HE MEETS RECRUIT FAMILIES IN CHURCH. THEY PASS THE COLLECTION PLATE AND COACH CAL PUTS A ENVELOPE IN THERE AND THEN THE RECRUIT’S FAMILY KEEPS THE WHOLE COLLECTION. THE F.B.I. AIN’T ALLOWED TO SNOOP ON NO CHURCHES, DADGUMMIT! THE COAST IS CLEAR WHEN JESUS IS NEAR! (laffs) DO YOUR THING, COACH CAL! US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GOT YOUR BACK! JUST KEEP GITTIN ALL THEM NBA ONE-AND-DONE HEROES WITH CHURCH MONEY. GOD IS A WILDCAT FAN…THAT’S WHY HE MADE THE SKY BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs)
HEY LARRY, HAS YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK FINALLY FESSED UP TO BEIN A LOWDOWN, CHEATIN DOG? THAT ADIDAS GUY DONE SAID IN COURT THAT SLICK RICK AND HIS COACHES WAS THROWIN MONEY AROUND LIKE THEY WAS IN A STRIP CLUB…WHICH AIN’T A FAR-FETCHED SITUMAGATION! (laffs) OL SLICK’S BOYS WAS TUCKIN HUNDERD DOLLAR BILLS IN THE WAISTBANDS OF CRUMMY RECRUITS SO THAT’S WHY Y’ALL STILL WEREN’T NO GOOD. DADGUMMIT, IF YOU GONNA CHEAT – GO ALL IN LIKE COACH CAL DOES! ONLY PROBLEM FOR U OF SMELL COACHES IS THAT THEY CAINT WALK INTO A CHURCH OR THEIR DEVIL SOULS WILL EXPLODE! (laffs)
SO BUCEPT YOUR FATE, YOU SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE STAMP, LIBERAL LOSERVILLE CRYBABIES…U OF SMELL JUST GONNA HAVE TO STAY A SMALLTIME LITTLE BROTHER NOBODY SCHOOL WITH A LAME DUCK FOOTBAW TEAM THAT CAINT BEAT MANUEL HIGH SCHOOL AND A BASKETBAW TEAM MADE UP OF WALK-ONS AND REE-JECTS. (laffs)
LARRY, I GUESS Y’ALL JUST GONNA HAVE TO CHEER FOR THE U OF SMELL STRIPPER CLUB DANCING LADYBIRDS. (laffs) THEY IS THE STORMY DANIELS OF COLLEGE DANCERS! (laffs) NO WONDER U OF SMELL ATTRACTS BAD GIRLS TO THE DARMITORIES. THEM DANCE TEAM GIRLS LOOK LIKE STORMY’S COUSINS! (laffs) GO CATS! GO BLUE! WE GOT US A WEEK OFF SO TAKE EXTRA TIME TO MOCK A CARDINAL FAN. IT AIN’T LIKE THEY’S BUSY TRYIN TO BUY TICKETS TO THE BOWL GAMES! (laffs) AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!