The Beasman can’t believe God killed Billy Graham and Coach Cal in the same week

THE BEASMAN radio sketch for February 23, 2018
(cries) LIES! LIES! LIES! (cries) I DON’T KNOW HOW Y’ALL SCUMBAG CARDINAL BIRDS DONE IT, BUT THIS WHOLE THANG ABOUT U UH KAY PLAYERS GITTIN PAID OFF AIN’T NOTHIN BUT A BIG OL LIE! (cries) DADGUMMIT! U OF SMELL MUST HAVE A DOUBLE NAUT SPY WORKING AT THE FBI AND SO NOW Y’ALL GONNA TRY TO DRAG THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS DOWN IN THE MUCK WITH YA. MISERY LOVES COMPANY BUT BIG BLUE NATION DON’T WANNA BE YOUR COMPANY, YOU BUNCH OF CHEATIN, LYIN, PROSTERTUTE BUYIN THUGS!

(cries) DADGUMMIT, ALL US CAT FANS WAS HAVIN SUCH A GREAT TIME LAUGHIN AND TAUNTIN THE U OF SMELL CARDINAL CONVICTS BUT NOW THAT U UH KAY IS CAUGHT IN THE FBI STING, IT AIN’T SO FUNNY! BAM DONE GOT PAID. KEVIN KNOX DONE BEEN OUT WITH THE AGENTS. ANTHONY DAVIS, BOOGIE COUSINS, MARQUISE TEAGUE…THEY ALL GONNA GIT PULT INTO THIS HARRIBLE PACK OF LIES AND US CAT FANS IS A-SKEERED! COME SAVE US, GOD! WE IS BASKETBAW ROYALTY ! PUNISHMENT IS POSED TO BE FOR LITTLE BROTHER WILDCAT WANNABES LIKE LOSERVILLE.

THE BIGTIME PROGRAMS GOT TO BE IN THE NC2A TOURNEYMINT CUZ AINT NOBODY GONNA WATCH MARCH MADNESS WITHOUT THE CATS! (cries) WE GOT CAUGHT POINT SHAVIN IN THE 50s, HUNDERD DOLLAR HANDSHAKES IN THE 70s, SENDING MONEY TO CHRIS MILLS IN THE 80s, NEW CARS FOR THE PLAYERS SINCE THE 1920s, AND NOW GUYS GITTIN A FEW SMALL LOANS. BIG WHOOPTY DO.

Donovan Mitchell’s Louisville Dame 4 customs are really something. pic.twitter.com/xaXcfgoAhG

— Casey Holdahl (@CHold) February 24, 2018

IT’S AIN’T LIKE THERE’S A STRIPPER POLE ANYWHERE IN OUR SCANDAL SO DON’T Y’ALL LAUGH AT US, LARRY MINNER. THE LARD SAYS YOU AIN’T POSED TO LOOK DOWN ON THE DOWNTRODDEN. WHAT KIND OF TWO BIT, SLIMEBALL ARROGANT U OF SMELL THUG WOULD KICK US WHEN WE IS DOWN? SO STOP BEIN SO GIDDY, LARRY MINNER. DON’T DISS MY CATS!

WE IS HURTIN…HURTIN REAL BAD RIGHT NOW AND WE IS GOOD AND CLASSY! I MEAN…IT AIN’T LIKE WE IS A HOMELESS GUY AND TERRENCE JONES IS JUST GIVIN HIM A PLAYFUL KICK IN THE RIBS WHILE HE’S SLEEPIN. UK IS REALLY DOWN AND OUT. IT AIN’T LIKE WE IS DEANDRE LIGGINS GIRLFRIEND AND Y’ALL IS JUST DROPPING A XBOX GAME ON HIS GIRLFRIEND’S HEAD. NAW! IT AIN’T LIKE MICHAEL PORTER GOIN TO PRISON FOR SEXUAL ABUSIN YOUNG GIRLS! THIS HERE IS SERIOUS STUFF…WE IS BIGTIME U UH KAY BASKETBAW AND OUR TOURNEYMINT STATUS IS IN QUESTION!

WE IS THE PRIDE OF KENTUCKY SO DON’T Y’ALL SNAGGLE TOOTH, CROSS-EYED, BEER BREATH U OF SMELL CARDINAL FANS TAKE NO PLEASURE IN OUR PAIN. THE BEST THANG Y’ALL CARDINAL FANS CAN DO IS SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE AND NOT TAUNT U UH KAY CUZ WE IS GOOD AND CLASSY AND WE IS ALLOWED TO PAY OUR PLAYERS CUZ AMERICA NEEDS US! WE GOT ALL THESE SAD THINGS HAPPENIN IN AMERICA AND OUR OLYPIANS IS A BUNCH OF LOSERS AND SO HAVIN THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS WIN MARCH MADNESS CHEERS AMERICA UP! AND IF YOU DO SAY SOMETHIN ABOUT COACH CAL CHEATIN AT MEMPHIS AND MASTERCHUSETTS, JUST CALL IT A LEARNIN CURVE TO GIT HIM READY TO TAKE OVER AT KENTUCKY!

1978 Kentucky Wildcats NCAA basketball national champions photographed in 2018 by the Herald-Leader

(cries) I GOT MY 40th REUNION WITH MY NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS TEAM THIS WEEKEND AND I’M AFRAID TO GO. WHAT IF GOOSE GIBBONS OR COW MACY OR RICK ROBEY IS A SECRET FBI AGENT
RECARDING EVER THANG WE SAY ABOUT THE MONEY AND CARS THEY GOT? DADGUMMIT, I’M GONNA HAVE TO FAKE LIKE I GOT LARRY-GITIS AND CAINT SPEAK. (cries) WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, GOD! YOU POSED TO BE A CAT FAN AND LOOK WHAT YOU LET HAPPEN TO US! I MEAN, YOU ALREADY KILT BILLY GRAHAM THIS WEEK SO NOW YOU GONNA KILL COACH CAL, TOO? (cries) I DON’T THINK I WANNA GO ON….UNLESS YOU GONNA MAKE THE PAIN RAIN ON U OF SMELL SOME MORE…I’LL STICK AROUND FOR THAT! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

BLUE GETS INBOX
BTW: If you think I am out to “get” UK, search my name at uky.edu

——–

From: daphne medley
Sent: Friday, February 23, 2018 3:34 PM
To: MEINERS, TERRY A
Subject: UK

Terry,

As a UK alumni and lifelong fan living in Louisville, I have found no satisfaction in what has happened with the U of L basketball team. I don’t appreciate the “karma train” comment! I also didn’t appreciate your comments this past week, insinuating that UK fans were happy over what was happening with the U of L basketball program.

I love basketball and college sports, and I hate to see any players hurt in any situation. I actually felt bad for the Coach and the players when we beat them so badly. Lets remember that they are kids.

I can hear the giddiness in your voice when you talk about the potential problem this new situation could be for UK players.

Remember that your listeners are UK fans as well.

I don’t know why I continue to listen to you, your political bias makes me angry as well.

Daphne Medley

——–

From: MEINERS, TERRY A
Sent: Friday, February 23, 2018 3:35 PM
To: ‘daphne medley’
Subject: RE: UK

Go Cats!