COUNT IT!

No. 19 LSU stuns No. 5 Kentucky … AT THE BUZZER. #SCtop10 pic.twitter.com/M8LHpexYxV

— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) February 13, 2019

THE BEASMAN uk and u of smell torched at the buzzer
(cry) I AIN’T HAD A WINK OF SLEEP, LARRY MINNER. (cry) IT FINE-LEE STOPPED RAININ BUT NOW THE EN-TIRE STATE OF KENTUCKY IS DROWNIN IN OUR OWN TEARS. (cry) WHY? WHY? WHY? (cry) THIS CAINT BE HAPPENIN TO US GOOD AND CLASSY BIG BLUE NATION FANS. (cry) COACH CAL GOT TO GO. HE DONE LOST THAT PRIZE REE-CRUIT TO DADGUM JARJUH ON MONDEE AND THEN THE CATS GIT JOBBED AT THE BUZZER LAST NIGHT CUZ THEM REFFERMARIES AIN’T AFRAID OF COACH CAL NO MORE. (cry)

LARRY…I DON’T WHETHER TO POOTY MY PANTS OR WIND MY WATCH. DADGUMMIT, STICK A FARK IN COACH CAL – US BIG BLUE FAITHFUL IS DONE WITH HIS WEAK SAUCE COACHIN AT THE END OF GAMES! HE SUCKS! WHY DID THE CATS LET THAT CROOKED TEETH L.S.WHO NOBODY GUARD DRIBBLE STRAIGHT TO THE BUCKET WITH 4 SECONDS LEFT? (cry) HOW IN THE WORLD THEM REFFERMARIES DON’T CALL THAT GOALTENDERIZIN’ I DON’T KNOW. (cry)

WE IS THE CATS! AIN’T NO CROCKER-DILE EATIN, STINKY ARMPIT, FRENCH FROG CAJUN BOBBY BOO-SHAY LOOZ-EE-ANNA INBRED L.S.WHO NOBODIES POSED TO BEAT NO U UH KAY IN RUMP ARENER. (cry) BUT OLD MAN COACH CAL – HE GONE SEE-NILE! HE JUST TURNT 60 SO HE’S WARSHED UP – COACH CAL SETTIN THERE LETTIN THE STRIPE SHIRT GUYS GIT AWAY WITH IT. (cry)

DADGUMMIT, ADOLPH RUPP WOULDA GONE OUT THERE AND RIPPED THE REF’S HEAD OFF AND SPIT DOWN HIS NECK HOLE TIL SOMEBODY CALLED IT GOALTENDERIZIN! (cry) OH LARRY. AND I COULDN’T DEE-CIDE IF I WANTED THEM ROTTEN DUKIES TO WIN AT LOSERVILLE OR FOR U OF SMELL TO HUMILFY COACH RAT FACE SHITSHETSKI. Y’ALL DUMB CARDINAL BIRDS HAD ‘EM ON THE ROPES AND THEN COACH SHIT-SHETSKI HOLLERED AT THEM REFFERMARIES AND SO THEY STARTED CALLIN ALL KINDA FOULS ON LOSERVILLE TO HELP DUKE GIT BACK IN IT. (cry)

BUT DADGUMMIT IT DINT MAKE ME HAPPY. I HATE LOSERVILLE BUT I HATE DUKE EVEN MORE SO IT WAS A BAD NIGHT ALL AROUND. LOSERVILLE WAS POSED TO GIT STOMPED BY THE DUKIES BUT INSTEAD THE CARDINAL BIRDS LOOKED LIKE THEY WAS HALFWAY RESPECTACLE AND SO NOW Y’ALL PROBLEE GONNA GIT IN THE BIG DANCE INSTEAD OF THE N.I.T. WHERE YOU BLONG. (cry)

IT AIN’T NO HAPPY TIME IN WILDCAT COUNTRY, LARRY MINNER. OLD BALDY MACK DONE GOT U OF SMELL PLAYIN PURDY GOOD AFTER PITINO LEFT A DUMPSTER FIRE. US CAT FANS DON’T LIKE THAT. (cry)

AND NOW U UH KAY IS LOOKIN WOBBLY WITH #1 TENNERSEE COMIN TO TOWN. (cry) IF THE WILDCATS LOSE TO TENNERSEE IN RUMP ARENER THEN BIG BLUE NATION GONNA LOSE ITS MIND WITH A HOME LOSIN STREAK. COACH CAL GONNA FIND ALL HIS FURNITURE IS PACKED SO WE CAN CHASE HIM OUTTA LEXINUN WITH TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS. I THINK IT’S TIME FOR REX CHAMPMAN AND KINNY SKY WALKER TO BE THE CO-COACHES OF U UH KAY AND SAVE US BEFORE MARCH MADNESS. (cry)

AND NOW I HEAR TELL THE DEMMER-CRAT PARTY DONE TURNT ON MATT JONES SO HE AIN’T GONNA BE ABLE TO BEAT SNITCH MCCONNELL, A BIGTIME LOSERVILLE SUPPORTER. INSTEAD THEY GONNA GIT AMY MCGRATH, THE GIRL COMBAT PILOT TO RUN AGAINST SNITCH. WELL SHE ALREADY LOST A CONGRESS RACE TO ANDY BARR, A GUY WITH THE PERSONALITY OF A STORE MANNEQUIN SO SHE AIN’T GOT A SHOT AT BEATIN SNITCH. THIS HERE IS THE WORST WEEK EVER, LARRY MINNER! AIN’T NOTHIN GOIN U UH KAY’S WAY! (cry)

IF I HAD A TIME MACHINE I WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK TO THE HAPPIEST TIME IN U UH KAY HISTREE…THE DAY THE NC2A YANKED DOWN LOSERVILLE’S CHAMPERCHIPS BANNER. BUT LOOK AT US NOW. TWO YEARS LATER AND US G-G-G-G-GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCATS DONE GOT OUR HEARTS YANKED OUT AND STOMPED ON BY THEM CROSS-EYED CAJUNS. (cry)

LOOK OUT, TENNERSEE. IF Y’ALL BEAT US SAIRDEE NIGHT, US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GONNA BOARD OUR GIANT ARK AND COME DOWN THERE TO DEE-STORY THE WHOLE STATE OF TENNERSEE. YEAH! WE GONNA SMASH ALL THE BANJOS SO CAINT NOBODY PLAY ROCKY TOP NO MORE. WE GONNA BURN DOWN DOLLYWOOD AND THEN DRIVE THE CHATTERNOOGA CHOO CHOO OFF A BRIDGE. THIS HERE AIN’T NO TIME TO POKE THE CATS! JUST DO LIKE YOU DONE FOR THE PAST FARTY YEARS…LAY DOWN AND LET THE CATS DOMMERATE YOU. IT’S THE WAY GOD WANTS IT. EVEN HE WAS CRYIN OVER THAT MISSED GOALTENDERIZIN CALL.