All of the uproar over banning straws makes greenies feel good but are we missing the forest for the trees?

USA Today lists the enemies of planet earth and it starts with smokers and careless fast food consumers. New rule: cigs and quarter pounders should be eaten on the spot without the need for packaging. Magicians eat cigarette butts in their act and never die.

As for all of the virtue signalers blaming America, choke on this fact. 90% of ocean plastic waste comes from Asia and Africa.

Shrill hysteria is great in movies but loses its effect when used as inaccurate finger wagging. Take it down a notch, straw bashers. Pollution is reprehensible but you’re overplaying your hand on this one.

Do the math, folks. When scale is applied to planet earth, the purge of straws is the least of our worries.

Don’t get me started on the latest breathless panic over contact lens disposal. They’re so tiny! Really?

An instant Goldman Environmental Award is guaranteed for the person who figures out how to eradicate the need for tires.