THE BEASMAN game time
GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! PAY COACH STOOPS! PAY COACH STOOPS! BEAT TOE-LEEDER! BEAT TOE-LEEDER! (laffs) OL’ BALD-HAIRED LARRY MINNER IS THE LONELIEST GUY IN KENTUCKY. (laffs) YOU THE ONLY GUY STILL AT WORK! ERRBODY ELSE OFF HAVING THEIR LABOR DAY WEEKEND SO NOBODY IS LISSENIN TO YOUR STUPID RADIO SHOW! (laffs) YOU OUGHTA ASK BOOGIE COUSINS TO PUT A BULLET IN YOUR BALD HEAD! (laffs) FREE BOOGIE! FREE BOOGIE! THAT AIN’T BOOGIE ON THE TAPE!

LARRY MINNER, THE KARMA TRAIN IS COMIN FOR YOU MONDEE NIGHT! (laffs) YOU’LL BE CRYIN LIKE A BABY WHEN THEM DRUNK CATHLICKS GIT HERE FOR FOOTBAW! (laffs) YOUR CARDINAL FEATHERS GONNA BE SPRAYED ALL OVER THE TRAIN YARD BY THEM FAKE RELIGION DRUNK CATHLICKS AND US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GONNA LOVE EVER MINUTE OF IT! (laffs) CAT FANS WILL BE LAFFIN LIKE WE IS WATCHIN HEE HAW! (laffs)

WE IS BIG NOTRE DAME FANS UNTIL NEXT WEEK, THEN U UH KAY WILL GO BACK TO CALLIN EM FISHBREATH CATHLICK, ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN, BINGO PLAYIN, BEER GUZZLIN, BABYMAKIN, STATUE WORSHIPPIN HEATHENS! (laffs) LET’S TAWK BIG BLUE…LOYAL WILDCATS LIKE ME AND COACH STOOPS CANT FIGGER WHY SAIRDEE’S WILDCAT GAME AINT SOLD OUT. WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS A-GOIN ON? IS ALL THE GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT FANS GOIN TO THE LAKE INSTEAD OF CHEERING ON STOOPS TROOPS?

DADGUMMIT, PUT DOWN THEM FISHIN POLES AND SHOW UP TO CHEER ON THE CATS! STOOPS DONE GOT A BIG PAY RAISE FOR MAKING THE CATS THE TOUGHEST FOOTBAW TEAM IN MURICA SO THE LEAST WE COULD DO IS PRETEND LIKE WE CARE! TOE-LEEDER SUCKS BUT SHOW UP ANYHOO SO COACH STOOPS DON’T LEAVE TO TAKE THE ALABAMMER JOB. YOU KNOW ALABAMMER WOULD FIRE NICK SABER IN A NEW YARK MINUTE TO GIT STOOPS! GO CATS! GO BLUE!

LARRY, I’M SURE YOU BIGTIME JEALOUS OF MATT JONES CUZ HE DONE GOT ALL THE PUBLICERATION FOR ACTIN’ LIKE HE MIGHT RUN AGIN SNITCH MCCONNELL. WE ALL KNOW MATT JONES IS LYIN JUST TO GIT HEADLINES, BUT THAT’S GOOD FOR BIG BLUE NATION. IF A LOSERVILLE GUY LIKE LARRY MINNER SAID HE MIGHT RUN FOR OFFICE, PEOPLE WOULDN’T VOTE FOR HIM TO BE DOG CATCHER! (laffs) LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! WHY DON’T YOU JUST QUIT TRYIN TO BE LIKE MATT JONES! WHEN HE BECOMES A SENATOR, MAYBE YOU CAN BE HIS CHAUFFEUR! (laffs)

MATT JONES IS PROOF THAT BIG BLUE NATION DOMMERATES THE WORLD. HE’S MORE IMPORTANT THAN TRUMP! (laffs) AIN’T GONNA BE 12 PEOPLE THERE LIKE A DONALD TRUMP JR RALLY! MATT JONES PACKS ‘EM IN LIKE FREE GUMMIT CHEESE GIVEAWAYS! COACH STOOPS SHOULD AST MATT JONES TO DO A POLITICAL RALLY AT HALFTIME OF ALL U UH KAY GAMES AND THEN WE WOULD FINALLY SELL OUT ALL THE TICKETS! COME ON, CAT FANS! SPEND SOME OF THAT METH MONEY FOR U UH KAY FOOTBAW TICKETS! LET’S GO! BIG BLUE NATION! SENATOR MATT JONES GONNA BE THERE KISSIN HANDS AND SHAKIN BABIES! AWWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!