THE BEASMAN uk wins the world
CATS WIN! BLUE GITS IN! CATS WIN! BLUE GITS IN! (laffs) ALL WE DO IS WIN, WIN, WIN! ALL WE DO IS WIN! WIN! WINNNNNN! (laffs) SNELL YEAH! SNELL YEAH! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs) LARRY MINNER AND ALL HIS SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL CONVICT FANS AIN’T GOT NO REASON TO LIVE NO MORE! (laffs) WHY DON’T Y’ALL SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE STAMP CASHIN, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, GANG BANG THUG LOSERVILLE FANS JUST BOW DOWN AND ADMIT THAT U UH KAY IS YOUR MASTER!

DO IT, LARRY! SAY THAT U UH KAY IS YOUR BIG BROTHER DOMMERATOR RIGHT NOW OR YOU IS A BROADCAST FRAUD! (laffs) IF YOUR CAINT ADMIT THAT U UH KAY IS YOUR MASTER THEN YOU IS A FAKE NEWS PHONY BLONEY U OF SMELL BOOTLICKER. (laffs) US GOOD AND CLASSY U UH KAY FANS IS ON TOP OF THE WORLD CUZ WE DONE THUMPED Y’ALL IN BASKETBAW AND NOW STOOPS TROOPS IS THE GREATEST FOOTBAW TEAM IN AMERICA.

BINNY IS THE ALL-TIME YARDAGE MAKER IN FOOTBAW HISTREE, AND JOSH ALLEN IS THE ALL-TIME TACKLE GITTER, AND HE ALSO SAID THAT HIS SISTER WAS STUPID FOR GOIN TO U OF SMELL. (laffs) I JUST MADE UP THAT PART BUT YOU KNOW HE THINKS IT. (laffs)

U UH KAY FOOTBAW SHOOK UP THE WORLD! (laffs) AIN’T NOBODY EVEN GONNA WATCH THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS CUZ REAL FOOTBAW FANS KNOW THAT TITLE BLONGS TO U UH KAY! THEM GUYS AT ALABAMMER DON’T WANT NO PART OF THESE WILDCATS! IT OUGHTA BE U UH KAY PLAYIN BAMA & CLEMSON COMBINED CUZ WE WOULD TEAR ‘EM A NEW ONE! (laffs) BUT WE GONNA JUST SAVE THAT FOR NEXT YEAR! (laffs) RIGHT NOW LET’S JUST ENJOY BINNY SNELL PROVIN THAT HE’S BETTER THAN LAY-MAR JACKSON.

SNELL YEAH! SNELL YEAH! HEY LARRY, SNELL YOU LATER! (laffs) WHAT IN THE SAM HILL Y’ALL CARDINAL THUGS GONNA DO NOW? COACH CAL DONE SLAPPED AROUND BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS AND NOW Y’ALL HIRED GOMER PYLE FROM MAYBERRY TO COME COACH YOUR CARDINAL FOOTBAW TEAM. (laffs) Y’ALL DONE GIVE UP, AIN’T YA? SHOULDN’T Y’ALL LITTLE BROTHERS JUST DROP ON DOWN TO DIVISION 2? OTHERWISE, STOOPS IS GONNA BEAT Y’ALL DOWN EVER THANKSGIVIN WEEK. Y’ALL CAINT BE THANKFUL ABOUT THAT.

AND THEN COACH CAL SHOWS UP IN DEE-CEMBER TO BE THE GRINCH WHO STOLE LOSERVILLE’S CHRISTMAS! (laffs) I LOVE IT! LOSERVILLE FOOTBAW COACH GOMER SADDLE SORES AND MACK THE HACK CAINT RUN WITH U UH KAY. COACH CAL GOT THE CATS OUT TO A 13 POINT LEAD IN THE 1st FIVE MINUTES AND THEN JUST KEPT THE LEAD RIGHT THERE THE REST OF THE WAY. (laffs) I MEAN, COACH CAL COULDA WHOOPED LOSERVILLE BY 50 POINTS BUT HE DON’T WANT CHRIS MACK TO GIT FIRED. HE’S JUST THE STOOGE U UH KAY NEEDS! (laffs) IF VINCE TY-ROID FIRES MACK HE MIGHT ACTUALLY GIT SOMEBODY GOOD AND THEN U UH KAY WILL HAVE TO TRY! (laffs)

COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – COACH CAL KNOWS STOOPS IS GITTIN ALL THE ATTENTION RIGHT NOW AND IT JUST MOTOR-VATES HIM TO GO OUT AND WIN MARCH MADNESS SO PEOPLE SHUT UP ABOUT STOOPS! (laffs) IT’S JUST LIKE THE GOOD OL DAYS WHEN ADOLPH RUPP AND BEAR BRYANT COULDN’T STAND BEING AT U UH KAY TOGETHER. I LOVE IT! THAT MEANS ALL WE DO IS WIN, WIN, WINNNNNN! EVEN IF OUR COACHES IS JEALOUS OF EACH OTHER! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! BINNY SNELL IS BETTER THAN LAY-MAR AND TYLER HERO IS AMERICA’S HERO FOR WHOOPIN THE DIRTY BIRD U OF SMELL CONVICT CARDINALS! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! HAPPY BLUE YEAR, LARRY! SNELL YA LATER! (laffs)