Duke rhymes with puke. How come them there Cats ain’t #1 yet?

Coach Cal. The Beasman don’t hate him no more. At least until the next game.

THE BEASMAN uk beats tenn
THANKS FOR NOTHIN, LOSERVILLE! (laffs) Y’ALL BUNCH OF BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, TWO BIT NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK CARDINAL CONVICTS GOT A 99.9% CHANCE TO BEAT THEM ROTTEN DUKIES AND YOU BLOWED IT. (laffs) THE ONE DADGUM TIME YOU LOSERVILLE NITWITS GOT A CHANCE TO HELP THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS AND YOU FOLDED LIKE A TWO DOLLAR TENT. (laffs) THANKS FOR NOTHIN, YOU BUNCH OF CARDINAL FRAUDS! IF Y’ALL WOULDA TOOK CARE OF BIDNIZ AGAINST THEM DUKIES THEN U UH KAY WOULD PROBLEE BE #1 IN THE PO AFTER BLOWIN OUT THEM TENNERSEE WANNABES. (laffs)

PJ Washington is the greatest guy to ever play at UK. Until someone else has a big night, then it’ll be that guy.

DID YOU SEE THE BIG BLUE NATION DOMMERATE TENNERSEE? (laffs) IT WAS AWESOME, LARRY! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! OL P.J. WARSHBURN AND ASHLYN HAGGER AND SHELTRON JOHNSON SHOWED THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD THAT U UH KAY KNOWS IT’S TIME FOR NINE! TIME FOR NINE! TIME FOR NINE! (laffs) U UH KAY BOUT TO RUN THE TABLE AND WIN THE NINTH NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS CUZ DUKE DON’T WANT NO PART OF US NOW! (laffs) THEY GOT LUCKY IN THAT SEASON OPENER BUT NOW EVERBODY KNOWS DUKE IS A FRAUD! HOW IN THE WORLD U OF SMELL WAS ABLE TO GO UP BY 23 ON THE SO-CALLED #1 TEAM IN AMERICA IS A TOTAL JOKE!

I BETCHA U OF SMELL TOOK BRIBE MONEY TO LOSE THAT DUKE GAME THE OTHER NIGHT. ALL Y’ALL DO IS CHEAT, CHEAT, CHEAT AND SO THAT’S WHY THE NC2A YANKED DOWN YOUR BANNER. (laffs) HOW IN THE WORLD DID LITTLE NOBODY CLEMSON TAKE Y’ALL DOWN TO THE LAST SECOND? CLEMSON SUCKS WORSE THAN LOSERVILLE AND Y’ALL WAS ACTIN LIKE YOU WAS PLAYIN KENTUCKY! (laffs) WHAT KIND OF IDIOT COACH Y’ALL GOT WITH CHRIS MACK? WITH 3 SECONDS LEFT AND Y’ALL HOLDING A ONE POINT LEAD, THE DUMB BUNNY U OF SMELL PLAYER THROWS THE BALL IN RIGHT UNDEER CLEMSON’S BASKET. (laffs)

OHHHH…WHAT A SMART PLAY THAT IS! DINT Y’ALL DIMWITS LEARN NUTHIN FROM LAST YEAR WHEN VIRGINNY SCORED 7 POINTS IN THE LAST TWO SECONDS TO BEAT Y’ALL! THE IDIOT U OF SMELLER SHOULDA THROWED A HAIL MARY DOWN THE FLOOR TO LET THE CLOCK RUN OUT. BUT NAWWWW, BALDY CHRIS MACK SAYS JUST DROP IT RIGHT AT THEIR FEET AND SEE IF CLEMSON CAN MAKE A THREE FOOT SHOT! (laffs)

MORONS! (laffs) LARRY, Y’ALL CARDINAL BIRDS DON’T WANNA CROSS PATHS WITH U UH KAY AGAIN. WE DONE BEAT YA ONCE BUT IF WE SEE Y’ALL IN MARCH MADNESS IT’S GONNA BE LIKE BEAUTY CONTEST WITH ONLY LARRY MINNER & CHRIS MACK. IT’S GONNA GIT UGLY EARLY! (laffs)

GIT IT? YOU AND CHRIS MACK IS UGLY, LARRY! (laffs) COME ON AND LAUGH AT MY FUNNY COMEDY JOKES, LARRY, CUZ YOU GOT NO OTHER JOY IN YOUR LIFE. I SEEN THE FACEBOOK WHERE YOU WAS HANGIN AROUND MATT JONES IN HIS FANCY K.S.R. BAR & GRILLE. WHAT IS YOU DOIN THERE, WARSHIN DISHES SO MATT WILL BE YOUR FRIEND? HE DON’T WANT NO CARDINAL FRAUD IN THAT WILDCAT RESTRUNT! I BETCHA ALL THE COOKS WAS BACK THERE SPITTIN ON YOUR FOOD BEFORE THEY SERVED YOU, LARRY! (laffs) LISTEN UP, NOW THAT U UH KAY DOMMERATED TENNERSEE, I WANNA GIT ON THE COACH CAL RADIO SHOW AND TELL HIM THAT WEREN’T ME ASKIN FOR HIM TO GIT FIRED AFTER WE LOST TO L.S.U.

I WANT COACH CAL TO KNOW HE’S ALRIGHT AND WE AINT GONNA CHASE HIM OUTTA TOWN WITH PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES UNLESS HE LOSES ANOTHER GAME. (laffs) I REALLY LIKED WHEN HE HOLLERED AT OUR BIG BLUE NATION FANS FOR CHANTING “OVER-RATED!” AT TENNERSEE’S TEAM. COACH CAL SAID “WE DON’T ACT LIKE THAT!” (laffs) DADGUMMIT, I HOPE HE NEVER COMES TO A U UH KAY PEPPER RALLY CUZ WE DO ACT LIKE THAT AND LOTS WORSE, LIKE CALLING OTHER TEAMS GAY AND UGLY! (laffs) OL TENNERSEE LIMPED BACK DOWN THERE TO KNOXVULL WHERE THE DOCTOR PUT ‘EM ALL ON NERVOUS PILLS CUZ THEY SO WORRIED ABOUT HAVIN TO PLAY U UH KAY AGAIN WEEK AFTER NEXT! (laffs) LOOK OUT, DUKE! KENTUCKY IS COMIN FOR YOU IN MARCH MADNESS!

AND WE AIN’T GONNA BE LIKE LOSERVILLE AND TAKE A DIVE LIKE A BOWLING BALL DROPPED FROM A AIRPLANE! YOU GONNA GIT THE REAL CATS THIS TIME SO ORDER YOUR FUNERAL FLOWERS NOW, YOU BUNCH OF RICH BOY, LOUDMOUTH, ARROGANT, C.E.O., BILLIONAIRE, PRIVATE JET FLYIN, MANSION LIVIN, TWO HOUSEMAIDS AND A BUTLER, RAT FACE DUKIE COMMUNITY LEADERS! (laffs) WOW…THAT SURE DON’T HAVE THE SAME BAD BITE AS CALLIN LOSERVILLE PEOPLE SAGGY PANTS PRISON THUGS, RIGHT? AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!