THE BEASMAN game night
AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) IT’S SWEET 16 FRIDEE NIGHT AND AMERICA’S TEAM, THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS, IS GONNA CRUSH HOUSTON LIKE THEY IS IN THE ALAMO. AIN’T THAT IN HOUSTON? DON’T MATTER, THE MIGHTY WILDCATS GONNA TREAT HOUSTON LIKE IT’S JUSSIE SMOLLETT WALKIN HOME FROM SUBWAY AT 2 IN THE MARNIN WITH A FROZEN TUNA FISH SAMMICH. KA-POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER, HOUSTON! (laffs)

TOO BAD TENNERSEE LOST TO HURT THE S.E.C. BUT YOU GOTTA REE-LIZE THEM REFFERMARIES IN LOSERVILLE IS LOWDOWN CHEATERS. THAT’S JUST THE LOSERVILLE WAY OF LIFE! (laffs) WHEN YOU GIT SENT TO CHEATERVILLE, EXPECT TO GIT CHEATED! (laffs) TOO BAD, SO SAD, TENNERSEE! (laffs) AUBURN AND L.S.WHO. PROLLY GONNA WIN TONIGHT CUZ THE S.E.C. DOMMERATES!

Amazing sportsmanship from UNC's players to greet Chuma Okeke as he made his way off the court pic.twitter.com/cAMeBjZsAK

— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) March 30, 2019

NARTH CARAMALINER IS A BUNCH OF A.C.C. FRAUDS AND MICHERGAN STATE SHOOTS LIKE STEVIE WONDER, JUST LIKE MICHERGAN DONE LAST NIGHT. HEY RAY CHARLES, HERE’S THE BASKET OVER HERE! (laffs) OH COME ON, LARRY. YOU AIN’T GONNA LAUGH AT MY FUNNY COMEDY JOKES CUZ YOU WE AIN’T POSED TO MAKE FUN OF RAY CHARLES. I AINT! I’M MAKING FUN OF MICHERGAN FOR SUCKING LAST NIGHT! THE BIG 10…WHAT A JOKE! PURDUE GOT LUCKY CUZ THAT LITTLE WHITE GUY KEPT THROWIN UP THEM RAINBOWS AND THE YUM CENTER GUY HAD EM HOOKED TO A STRING TO GIT EM TO GO IN. FARUDS! (laffs)

THE ONLY REAL TEAM IN THIS THANG IS KENTUCKY! DUKE SUCKS AND HOUSTON GONNA GIT TOASTED TONIGHT. IT’S ALL BIG BLUE TONIGHT! GO CATS! GO CATS! P.J. IS BACK! EVERBODY KNOWS P.J. WARSHINUN IS BETTER THAN LEE-BRON JAMES SO IT’S ALL CATS TONIGHT! THAT’S WHY OUR GAME COMES ON LAST! IT’S GONNA BE SUCH A BLOWOUT THAT HOUSTON GONNA GIT ON THE BUS AT HALFTIME! (laffs) THEY KEEP TAWKIN BOUT HOW EVERBODY IS DISRESPECTIN EM BY TAWKIN ABOUT U UH KAY AND NOT THEM. YEAH, THEY GONNA TAWK ABOUT YOU AFTER THE GAME, HOUSTON, CUZ Y’ALL BOUT TO DIE! (laffs)

EVERBODY IN AMERICA IS FOR THE CATS! AND LARRY, ACT LIKE YOU GOT A HEART FOR A CHANGE! CHEER FOR THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS, YOU TRAITOR TURNCOAT, BALD HAIRED, BENERDICT ARNOLD, FLIP FLOPPER FOOL! THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS REPPERSENTIN ALL KENTUCKIANS, EVEN YOU SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, NECK TATTOO, G.E.D. FLUNKIN U OF SMELL CARDINAL CONVICTS. (laffs) THE CATS WANNA SHOW AMERICA THAT NOT ALL OF US IS STRIPPER POLE, PROSTITUTE HIRING, PARENT BRIBING CHEATERS LIKE YOU AND YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK! (laffs) THEY TODE ME I AIN’T POSED TO SAY THAT NO MORE CUZ THE SNOWFLAKES GIT ALL SWOLE UP ABOUT IT. (laffs) I PROLLY NEED TO HIT ‘EM IN THE HEAD WITH A SNOW SHOVEL. (laffs) LARRY, YOU AIN’T CHEERIN AGAINST U OUH KAY, IS YOU?

I BEEN LISTENIN TO YOUR TURRIBLE SHOW AND YOU AIN’T SAID ‘GO BIG BLUE’ NOT EVEN ONE TIME. SAY IT RIGHT NOW TO PROVE THAT YOU IS A REAL KENTUCKIAN. SAY GO BIG BLUE! (silence) YOU LOWDOWN, FILTHY, WILDCAT HATIN THUG. HOW DARE YOU EVEN CALL YOURSELF A KENTUCKIAN! SAY GO BIG BLUE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS BOYCOTTIN YOU FOREVER! (silence) WELL… NO SENSE IN BOYCOTTIN YOU CUZ AIN’T NO CAT FANS LISTEN TO YOU NO HOW! (laffs) THEY ALL LISTEN AT MATT JONES INSTEAD! (laffs)

STICK A FARK IN YOU, LARRY! AND STICK A FARK IN JEFF WALZ CUZ HE’S FINALLY GITTIN OUT OF YOUR GHETTO TOWN FOREVER! BYE BYE, LOSERVILLE GIRL TEAM! IT’S ALL OVER FOR YOU FRAUDS TONIGHT, TOO. WHAT CHANNEL IS THEY SHOWIN GIRL BASKETBAW ON…NICKELODEON? (laffs) THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS ROCK AMERICA TONIGHT! SUCK ON THAT, LOSERVILLE CARDINAL FANS! Y’ALL JUST GOTTA SET ON YOUR BURNT OUT COUCHES AND WATCH THE BIG BLUE SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE ONE MORE TIME! AWWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!