(laffs) TELL THE CARDINAL STADIUM CREW TO PUT ALL NEW LIGHTBULBS IN THE SCOREBOARD CUZ THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS BOUT TO LIGHT IT UP LIKE A CALIFARNIA WILDFIRE! (laffs) IF THEM CRABBY OLD PEOPLE THINK TOP GOLF IS TOO BRIGHT, THEY SURE AIN’T GONNA LIKE HOW STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TORCH U OF SMELL! (laffs)

LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS COMIN TO YOUR GHETTO TOWN TO FINALLY PUT THEM LOSERVILLE CARDINALS OUTTA THEIR MISERY. THAT TEMPORARY COACH WAS SO BAD THAT BOBBY PETRINO AST HIM TO BECOME ANOTHER SON-IN-LAW. (laffs) THAT NEW COACH IS SO WORTHLESS THAT U OF SMELL TRIED TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER $14 MILLION TO GO AWAY. (laffs) LARRY, U OF SMELL FOOTBAW IS LIKE A RACE HARSE WITH THREE BROKEN LEGS. IT’S ALL OVER. PUT ‘EM OUT OF THEIR MISERY.

DON’T Y’ALL CARDINAL FLUNKIES GOT NO SENSE? FAR-FIT THIS GAME RIGHT NOW AND SAVE YOURSELFS MORE BIMBARRASMENT. YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANY DONE CANCELED YOUR POLICY CUZ ALL THEM CARDINAL INJURIES GONNA BANKRUPT THE HEALTHCARE SYSTEM. FARFIT NOW, U OF SMELL. FOR ONCE, DO THE RIGHT THING WITHOUT HAVING A JUDGE FORCE YOU TO! (laffs)

STOOPS IS LICKIN HIS CHOPS TO TREAT U OF SMELL LIKE THEM SAUDI ARABIANS DONE TO THAT REPORTER. (laffs) BINNY SNELL SO MAD HE DINT GIT NO HEISHMAN TROPHY THAT HE’S GONNA TAKE OUT HIS FRUSTER-ZATION ON U OF SMELL.

AND BINNY SAYS HE MIGHT NOT EVEN WEAR A HELMET CUZ U OF SMELL CAN’T TACKLY NOBODY NO HOW. (laffs) TERRY TOUCHDOWN GONNA DO WHAT TIM COUCH DONE WHEN Y’ALL OPENED THAT PINK SEAT STADIUM. TERRY GONNA LAY ABOUT 300 POINTS ON YOU CARDINAL FOOLS IN THE FIRST HALF. STOOPS GONNA LET MATT JONES AND RYAN LEMOND CALL THE PLAYS IN THE 2ND HALF. WE MIGHT EVEN LET THE UK PLAYERS’ MAMAS COME IN AND PLAY THE FOURTH QUARTER INSTEAD OF THEIR SONS. (laffs)

Kash Daniel was "disappointed" in the turnout on Senior Day, but getting Josh Paschal back was "the highlight of his year" pic.twitter.com/UMDgocZo1A

— Curtis Burch (@curtisburch) November 17, 2018

KASH DANIELS IS STILL SO MAD ABOUT CAT FANS NOT FILLIN UP THE KROGER FIELD FOR SENIOR DAY. HE IS TELLING THE ALL-BLUE CROWD IN LOSERVILLE STADIUM THIS SAIRDEE TO DO A SENIOR DAY DO-OVER FOR ALL THE DEE-PARTIN WILDCATS. SERIOUSLY LARRY, WHAT IS LOSERVILLE GONNA DO WITH A HOUSE FULL OF WILDCAT FANS?

IF YOU WANNA MAKE BIG MONEY THEN HAVE THE CONCESSION STANDS SELL NOTHIN BUT MOONSHINE, SQUIRREL BURGERS, AND CHEWIN DU-BACCA. (laffs) MOST OF THE CAT FANS WILL BE PACKIN HEAT SO THEY CAN SHOOT AT THE NAMES HANGIN UP THERE IN THE CARDINAL RING OF HONOR. (laffs) POOR CARDINAL BIRDS. THEY MUST FEEL LIKE THEY IS GETTING READY TO GO TO THE PRISON ‘LECTRIC CHAIR. (shout) DEAD MAN WALKIN! DEAD MAN WALKIN! (laffs)

LARRY, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT LITTLE DIVISION 3 SCHOOL THAT CANCELED NEXT YEAR’S FOOTBAW SEASON? EVEN THEIR LOSIN STREAK AIN’T AS LONG AS LOSERVILLE’S! (laffs) LARRY, WHY DON’T Y’ALL DROP DOWN TO DIVISION 3 AND TAKE THEIR PLACE SO THATAWAYS Y’ALL HAVE A CHANCE TO KEEP YOUR LOSSES TO UNDER 50 POINTS! (laffs) DEAD MAN WALKIN! DEAD MAN WALKIN! (laffs) OH, THIS HERE IS GONNA BE THE BEST THANKSGIVIN EVER. STOOPS TROOPS GIT TO CRUSH LOSERVILLE IN THEIR OWN HOUSE, THEN GO ON TO A BIGTIME BO GAME WHILE U OF SMELL STAYS HOME.

AND ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS THANKFUL THAT THE F.B.I. INVERSTERGATION STILL AIN’T FIGGERED OUT WHATEVER COACH CAL IS DOIN TO RECRUIT A NEW ONE-AND-DONE ALL-STAR LINEUP EVER YEAR WITHOUT NOBODY TELLIN ABOUT CASH PAYMENTS! (laffs) SINCE Y’ALL IGNERNT LOSERVILLE FANS AIN’T SMART ENOUGH TO FARFIT, BUCKLE UP YOUR CHINSTRAPS. YOU BUNCH OF CROSS-EYED, REDNECK, STINKBREATH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GOD HATIN, DRUG TAKIN, FOOD STAMP CASHIN, SPINELESS, GUTLESS, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, ILLITERATE, RAPIN, ROBBIN, RABBLE-ROUSIN LOSERVILLE THUGS BOUT TO LEARN WHAT A DOMMERATIN BLUE WAVE IS ALL ABOUT!

LIKE THEY TODE THEM CALIFARNIA HIPPIES WHEN THE FIRE WAS COMIN: GIT OUT NOW OR YOU BOUT TO DIE! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! THE BLUE WAVE IS BOUT TO FLOOD YOUR GHETTO TOWN AND GIVE IT THE BATH IT NEEDS! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!