WHAS radio script, Friday, April 4, 2014, 5:45 p.m. THE BEASMAN final four THOSE WEREN’T NO THUNDERSTARMS YOU HEARD ALL NIGHT – THAT WAS GOD JUMPING UP AND DOWN BUCITED ABOUT HIS KENTUCKY WILDCATS BACK IN THE FINAL FOUR. DADGUMMIT, IT’S ABOUT TIME THE MAN UPSTAIRS DONE SET THINGS RIGHT AGAIN. HE LISTENED TO THE PRAYERS OF GOOD LITTLE WILDCAT BOYS AND GIRLS AND HE SAID, “WELL, I GUESS I DONE TAUGHT EM HOW TO BE HUMBLE WITH ROBERT MORRIS LAST YEAR AND THEN NOT LETTING EM HAVE THE FARDY AND OH THEY THUNK WAS A SURE THANG. OK, NOW THEY CAN DOMMERATE AGAIN.” THANK YOU, GOD. US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WON’T GIT ARROGANT NEVER AGAIN.
Tag: university of louisville
Bluegrass Battle in the NCAA Sweet 16: #Twinning vs #Trezzin
Sports talk hosts Matt Jones from Kentucky Sports Radio and Afternoon Underdog Tony Vanetti launched the rivalry week smack talk on WHAS-11's Great Day Live. Hillbillies vs Drunks
Brother against brother in a neighbor’s yard
WHAS radio script - 5:45 p.m. - Monday, March 24, 2014 THE BEASMAN tweak 16 PUT MATT JONES ON. AIN’T NO SELF-RESPECTIN CAT FAN WANTS TO HEAR WHAT A TRAITOR TURNCOAT HAS TO SAY ABOUT NO DREAM GAME! BUT IT AINT NO DREAM FOR YOU AND ALL YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL CRIMINAL BUDDIES, IT’S YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, YOU BALD-HAIRED, SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN CARDINAL CRYBABY FRAUD. I CAN HEAR IN YOUR VOICE THAT YOU IS A-SCARED TO DEATH, LARRY MINNER, AND IT AINT FROM ROVING BANDS OF TEENAGE THUGS BEATIN UP OLD PEOPLE IN LOSERVILLE. THAT’S JUST EVERDAY LIFE IN YOUR GHETTO, GANG BANG BROKE DOWN TOWN, RIGHT LARRY? DON’T LIE TO THE BEASMAN – YOU IS A-SKEERED OF
They’ve had a tweak to repair for this
radio script: 4:45 p.m., Friday, March 14, 2014 THE BEASMAN fear the tweak FEAR THE TWEAK, LARRY! FEAR THE TWEAK! THE ALL-NEW U UH KAY WILDCATS IS GONNA COME OUT THERE IN A LITTLE WHILE AND DOMMERATE WITH THE TWEAK. COACH CAL SAYS WE GONNA SEE THE TWEAK RIGHT AWAY AND WE GONNA BE AMAZED AT HOW SIMPLE BUT GENIUS IT IS. GO BIG BLUE! BEAT THEM L.S.LOSERS. NOW’S WHEN THE REAL FARDY AND OH TEAM SHOWS UP TO BE FARDY AND NINE! COACH CAL DONE TWEAKED THE CATS PERFECT AND NOW WE IS GONNA BEAT LSU WORSE THAN U OF SMELL BEAT THE RUTGERS LAST NIGHT. BUT U OF SMELL IS A
The Beasman: Coach Cal is playing possum
radio script for Friday, March 1, 2014 -- airs at 5:45 p.m. THE BEASMAN just for men WELL LARRY MINNER, NOW THAT THE GAY MARRIAGE RAINBOW FLAG PEOPLE IS ALL RUNNING AROUND HERE CELERBRATIN, WHEN IS YOU AND SLICK RICK BUTEENO GONNA TIE THE KNOT? I KNOW YOU’S IN LOVE WITH HIM BECAUSE YOU GIT ALL STARRY-EYED WHEN THE TWO OF YOU TAWKS ON THE TELLERBISION. MATT JONES DON’T ACT LIKE A CREEPER WHEN HE SETS ON COACH CAL’S LAP TO AST QUESTIONS. THEY IS PROFESSIONALS BUT YOU AND SLICK RICK ACT LIKE A COUPLE OF MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRLS AT THE ICE CREAM SHOP. I GUESS YOU TWO SWISHY BOYS IS GONNA HAVE ONE OF THEM
The Beasman is a Belieber
THE BEASMAN back from vacation I CAINT BLEEVE YOU COME BACK TO WORK, YOU SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN LOUDMOUTH LOSERVILLE LOSER. WHEN YOU WAS GONE THEM FEW DAYS AND I HEARED LOCKJAW McCRANE ON THERE I THUNK TO MYSELF—I BETCHA THEY FINALLY FIGGERED OUT THAT LARRY IS A U OF SMELL GASBAG AND THE WH&S NEEDS TO GET A FAIR AND IMPARTIAL REPLACEMENT FOR HIM. SOMEBODY LIKE MATT JONES, A GUY WHO JUST TELLS THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH IS THAT U UH K DOMMERATES AND U OF SMELL IS A MAGNET FOR THUGS. BUT NAW, MATT JONES NEVER TURNT UP. NEXT THING I KNOW, I TURNT ON THE LECTRIC RADIO AND I HEAR A VOICE THAT SOUNDS
Memphis exported some blues to Louisville
On the day that a chastened Bobby Petrino was introduced as the reborn head coach of the University of Louisville football team, Rick Pitino's basketball team lost a critically important game at home against Memphis. The overly excited UK zealot The Beasman couldn't wait to call my radio show the next day. His transcript is printed below. THE BEASMAN memphis loss (LAFF) THE LOSERVILLE CARDINALS: THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING. DID SOMEBODY DUMP A GATORADE JUG FULL OF STUPID OVER TOM JURICH? WHAT’S HE DOIN BRINGIN THAT SNAKE IN THE GRASS BACK TO COACH YOUR FOOTBAW TEAM? WHAT Y’ALL POSED TO DO, JUST LOCK UP YOUR WIFES AND DAUGHTERS UNTIL FOOTBAW SEASON STARTS? I
Three times less than perfect
Kentucky Wildcats basketball coach John Calipari speaks to the media following UK's third loss in a season some expected to be flawless. North Carolina beat Kentucky 82-77 in the Wildcats' first true road game. Calipari said that UNC "deserved to win" and that his guys "need to get knocked in the teeth" in order to learn. "Hopefully you'll see progress," Calipari wished out loud. Although many fans thought that this magnificent #1 recruiting class would give UK a perfect "40 and oh" season, this loss to North Carolina on the heels of losses to Baylor and Michigan State have dampened spirits across the Commonwealth of Kentucky. UK hosts archrival Louisville in two weeks. Suddenly, Cats fans are not as confident as they
The Beasman drinks Cardinal tears
THE BEASMAN Louisville loses to UNC HEY GAY BOY -- THROW UP YOUR L SIGN NOW BECAUSE IT STANDS FOR LOSER. (laffs) I LOVE IT! OVER-RATED! OVER-RATED! ME AND ALL MY WILDCAT BUDDIES DONE CELERMABRATED BY SHOOTING OFF OUR SHOTGUNS TO OFFICIALLY END THE YEAR OF THE CARDINAL. STICK A FARK IN YOU; Y’ALLS DONE. I CAINT BLEEVE YOU COME TO WORK TODAY. I FIGGERED OL MATT JONES WOULD COME IN THERE AND STEAL YOUR MICROPHONE AGAIN, LARRY MINNER, AND TAUNT ALL THE BROKE U OF SMELL HEARTS IN YOUR GHETTO TOWN. BYE, BYE FARTY AND OH. BYE BYE WINNING STREAK. BYE BYE NATIONAL ATTENTION…WELL, BUCEPT FOR ALL THEM CAMERAS IN THE TRAFFIC COURT FOR
Rick Pitino on the Kevin Ware speeding/borrowed car firestorm
After his Louisville Cardinals trounced Hartford on November 19, UofL basketball coach Rick Pitino addressed the media and answered questions. At the 2:07 and 6:34 marks of the above video, Coach Pitino answered questions about his player Kevin Ware failing to show up in a Barren County courtroom for an October speeding violation of 40 mph over the limit. Pitino alluded to intense media coverage regarding the ownership of the borrowed car and speculation that an NCAA compliance rule had been broken. Here's The Courier-Journal story on the speeding ticket and the late model automobile's owner.