SLICK RICK’S BOOK OF LIES as read by The Beasman CHAPTER ONE I, SLICK RICK BUTEENER, DO SOLEMN-TY SWEAR THAT EVERTHANG I WROTE DOWN HERE IS A HUNDERD TEN PERCENT TRUE. BACK IN OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FIFTEEN, I WAS IN MY OFFICE PRAYIN’ THE ROSARY, MAKIN DONATIONS TO CHARITIES, AND SEWING AMERICAN FLAGS FOR DISABLED VETRENS WHEN THE PHONE RINGS. I PICK IT UP AND MY BALD FAN BOY LARRY MINNER IS A-SCREAMIN SOMETHIN ABOUT THERE’S THIS FLOOZY NAME OF KATRINER POWELL AND SHE’S A-GOIN ON MATT JONES LECTRIC RADIO SHOW TAWKIN BOUT STRIPPERS SEXIN’ UP THE U OF SMELL BASKETBAW PLAYERS IN THE DARM. AND I SAYS “LARRY, SHE’S LYIN. AIN’T NOBODY HAS SEX IN THEM