THE BEASMAN hate week AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (long laff) ITâS HATE WEEK, CAT FANS, AND US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS HATE ONE TEAM MORE THAN ANY OTHER TEAMâŚTHEM STINKY, NECK TATTOO, DOPE SMOKIN, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, STRIPPER POLE LOVIN, LYIN, CHEATIN, PLAYBOOK STEALING LOSERVILLE CARDINAL CONVICTS! (laffs) Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs) THE WHOLE STATE HATES LOSERVILLE! WE HATE YOUR SCHOOL, YOUR CRIME, YOUR TRASH, AND YOUR MAMAS! (laffs) YâALLS CRIME INFESTED TOWN IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO BLUEGRASS COUNTRY! GOVERNOR BESHEAR, A WILDCAT FAN, TRIED TO SELL YâALL TO INJIANNER! (laffs) INJIANNER SAID âNO THANKS. WEâD RATHER TAKE CHICAGO CUZ THEY GOT LESS KILLINGS!â (laffs) TO GIT RID OF MURDER CITY, JUST DIG THE
Tag: louisville football
Louisville basketball beats Michigan State, are The Cats skeered?
THE BEASMAN Louisville beats Michigan State WELLâŚI GUESS YOU SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, THUGGINâ CARDINAL FRAUDS THINK YOU IS HOT SNOT NOW, HUH? WELL YOU AINâT, DADGUMMIT! JUST CUZ YOU GOT LUCKY AND MICHERGAN STATE LAID DOWN AND LET YOU WIN LAST NIGHT DONâT MEAN THE U OF SMELL DUMPSTER FIRE IS OUT. (laffs) BIG BLUE NATION KNOWS WHATâS UPâŚYâALL IS STILL SKEEZY, STRIPPER POLE, SHOE COMPANY MONEY, 15 SECONDS OF RESTRUNT LOVE, LYIN UNDER OATH CONVICTS. (laffs) THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GOOD AND CLASSY, AND WE AINâT SKEERED OF PLAYIN U OF SMELL IN A FEW WEEKS CUZ WE GOT GAMES AGAINST REAL TEAMS LIKE TONIGHTâŚWE PLAYIN SOMEBODY CALLED MON-MOUTH. IâM SURE THEY IS BETTER
Cats crush Cards and The Beasman claims Brohm and Rondale ain’t a-comin’
THE BEASMAN cats crush cards TOUCHDOWWWWWWNNNNNN KENTUCKY! (laffs) THE CATS IS STILL OUT THERE SCORIN, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, CROOKED TEETH, CROWN ROYAL FOR BREAKFAST, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, GUTLESS LOSERVILLE THUGS! TOUCHDOWWWWNNNN KENTUCKY! AND THEY IS GOIN FOR TWO AFTER EVER TOUCHDOWN CUZ LOSERVILLE CAINT STOP A TODDLER FROM GETTING TO THE END ZONE! (laffs) I HOPE YOU U OF SMELLERS FINALLY ACCEPT YOUR FATE AS LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES. YâALL COULDNâT BEAT A DIVISION 3 TEAM OF CROSS-EYED COMPUTER NERDS. (laffs) I HEARD JEFF BROHM JUST KISSED HIS PURDUE BOSS ON THE MOUTH AND SAID âPLEASE LET ME STAY. I CAINT DO NOTHIN TO FIX THAT LOSERVILLE DUMPSTER FIRE!â SO THEN PURDUE CUT JEFF
Louisville fans should buckle their seatbelts before reading this joke
Georgia Tech came to Louisville and put a thorough beatdown on the Cardinals. Even the Georgia Tech twitter guy got a final body shot in. Our 10th and final touchdown of the night is at Jackson-Hartsfield courtesy of our friends at @Delta đđâď¸ pic.twitter.com/DJyCD54Ege— Georgia Tech Football (@GeorgiaTechFB) October 6, 2018 More ugly to come for Louisville. SCHEDULE
OH NO, WE SUCK AGAIN! – flighty Cardinal fans must have forgotten the bad old days
Thumped by Alabama. Having to squeak past hapless Indiana State during a monsoon. The Louisville Cardinals football team hasn't been sparkling this season. Some fans think we're worse than Adam Sandler's team in The Waterboy. Oh no...WE SUCK AGAIN! Fans are cranky. The coaching staff seems befuddled. People are not getting in their seats until late in the first quarter. We are flighty fans. During big games, we're loud and supportive...unless the other team is leading. Then fans run to the concourses and socialize instead of yelling support to the Cards. Others say we are turning into the people we used to mock - caustic, obsessed, deranged drunks. 50% of our fan base is turning into the ones we despise down the road. Heard wku
When we were kings
The University of Louisville has a quarterback controversy. Should we go with Puma or Malik? They're both great athletes but that's not the real controversy. The real issue is how do we grab more national love like we enjoyed during the Lamar Jackson days? When Lamar was churning out yardage for the Cards, we were kings. Every highlights show went three layers deep with love for Louisville. We've got to find another lightning bolt talent like Lamar to bring the joy back or interest will keep slipping. Even the Kentucky basketball coach couldn't stay away from Lamarvelous. But don't expect any recruiter, assistant, or head coach to shoot straight with us. They talk mumbo jumbo all across
The Beasman: UK pimp slaps USM while U of Smell limps past Purdue
AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! GO BIG BLUE! WE IS #1 IN FOOTBAW. COACH CAL IS #1 IN HURRICANE FUNDRAISIN. AND U OF SMELL STILL SUCKS LIKE LAST YEAR! BIG BLUE NATION RULES THE WORLD! HEY LAREEEEEEEEE! LARRY DADGUM MINNER! YOUR CARDINAL BIRDS LOOKED LIKE THEY STILL GOT THE FUMBLE-ITIS THEY HAD LASS YEAR WHEN U UH KAY BEAT âEM AND TURNT EM INTO NOBODIES. WHATâS THE MATTER WITH THEM CARDINAL CONVICTS, LARRY? DO THEY THINK THAT FOOTBAW IS A SUBPOENA OR A HAND GRENADE? AINâT NONE OF âEM WANTS TO HODE ONTO IT. LAY-MAR JACKSON WAS OK BUT THE REST OF EM SUCKED. I TELL YOU WHAT, ALL US GOOD AND
The Beasman is ready for some footbaw
THE BEASMAN football is here HELLO, IDIOT. IS YOU STILL TURNIN CARTWHEELS OVER THE GOOD CHURCH LADY GOIN TO JAIL? HOW DARE THEM SUPREME COURT GAY LOVERS PUT A GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN BEHIND BARS JUST FOR BEIN A CATS FAN. YOU KNOW SHEâS BLUE, LARRY, CUZ SHE GOT MORALS AND SHE AINT GOT NO TATTOOS LIKE U OF SMELL THUGS DO. AND IF SHEâS IN A CELL, THAT TAKES UP A SPACE WHERE A U OF SMELL CRIMINAL OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP. US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS DONâT LIKE US NO GAY BOYS. MEMBER WHEN WE USED TO SHOUT âMATT WALSH IS GAYâ OVER AND OVER IN RUPP ARENER? CAT FANS IS GOD FEARIN
Memphis exported some blues to Louisville
On the day that a chastened Bobby Petrino was introduced as the reborn head coach of the University of Louisville football team, Rick Pitino's basketball team lost a critically important game at home against Memphis. The overly excited UK zealot The Beasman couldn't wait to call my radio show the next day. His transcript is printed below. THE BEASMAN memphis loss (LAFF) THE LOSERVILLE CARDINALS: THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING. DID SOMEBODY DUMP A GATORADE JUG FULL OF STUPID OVER TOM JURICH? WHATâS HE DOIN BRINGIN THAT SNAKE IN THE GRASS BACK TO COACH YOUR FOOTBAW TEAM? WHAT YâALL POSED TO DO, JUST LOCK UP YOUR WIFES AND DAUGHTERS UNTIL FOOTBAW SEASON STARTS? I