THE BEASMAN cathlicks is comin STOP TAWKIN BOUT JUSTIN THOMAS LIKE HEâS YOUR FRIEND. HE WON THE FEDDER CHEESE CUP BUT HE DONâT LIKE NO LOSERVILLE CARDINAL BIRDS. HE WAS WEARIN BLUE PANTS THE WHOLE TIME. JUSTIN THOMAS PRETENDS LIKE HE LIKES LOSERVILLE SO YâALLâS PUNK GHETTO THUGS WONâT STEAL HIS GOLF CLUBS WHEN HE COMES HOME TO SEE HIS PARENTS. JUSTIN THOMAS WENT TO ROLL TIDE ALABAMMER CUZ HE KNOWS THE S.E.C. DOMERATES AND U OF SMELL SUCKS. (laffs) Just in time.@JustinThomas34 has earned his first win of the year @BMWChamps and the 10th of his career.He's No. 1 in the #FedExCup heading to East Lake.#LiveUnderPar pic.twitter.com/uDKBsKVUsK— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) August 18, 2019 YOU CARDINAL BIRDS BETTER QUIT LYIN
Tag: larry minner
Fredo Larry is too dumb to hang up on The Beasman
THE BEASMAN stripper money HELLOâŚIS THIS FREDO MINNER? (laffs) I WAS HOPIN YOU WOULD GIT ALL HUFFY AND START CUSSIN ME OUT LIKE THAT C.N.N. GUY WHO HATES BEIN CALLED FREDO. (laffs) FREDO! FREDO! FREDO! (laffs) HOW COME YOU AINâT GITTIN MAD? MAYBE ITâS CUZ YOU IS SO DUMB LIKE FREDO THAT YOU DONâT KNOW YOU BEIN INSULTERCATED! (laffs) WELLâŚIF FREDO DONâT GIT YOU FIRED UP THEN IâLL JUST KEEP CALLIN YOU LARRY THE LOSER! (laffs) HOW DO YOU LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR KNOWIN THAT MATT JONES IS SUCH A BETTER DEEJAY THAN YOU? MATT JONES COME ON YOUR SHOW LAST WEEK AND FINE-LEE GIVE IT SOME BIGTIME RATINGS LIKE MATT JONES GITS EVER DAY! WE WANT MATT JONES
The Beasman got trickerated by JB Holmes’ doppelganger
What a moment. Soak it all in, @ShaneLowryGolf. #TheOpen pic.twitter.com/IRpjCQ20a8— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) July 21, 2019 THE BEASMAN jb holmes sort of wins British Open WOOOOOO YEAH! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! DADGUMMIT, THATâS WHAT I WAS SHOUTINâ REAL LOUD WHEN THAT BEARDED, POTBELLY GOLFER FROM KENTUCKY J.B. HOLMES WON THE BRITISH OPEN! YEAH! GO CATS! KENTUCKY RULES THE WORLD! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! (sigh) BUT THEN MY BUDDY SAYS TO ME, HE SAYS âBEASMANâŚTHAT AINâT J.B. HOLMES HOLDIN UP THAT TROPHYâŚTHATâS SOME DRUNK IRISHMAN NAME OF SHANE LOWRY." DADGUMMIT, I RUBBED MY EYES TWO OR THREE TIMES AND JUST THROWED THE TV REMOTE AT THE FIREPLACE. EVERBODY ALL WEEKEND KEPT SAYIN âJB
The Beasman always bring the Summer Slam
THE BEASMAN laker cats YOU ARE A POOR EXCUSE FOR A MAN, LARRY MINNER. I AXEY-DENT-LEE TURNT ON YOUR STOOPID RADIO SHOW AND ALL YOUâS TAWKIN ABOUT IS SWIMMIN WITH DOLPHINS, BREAKDANCING, EATIN AT A PINK RESTRUNT, AND SOME 15-YEAR-OLD TENNIS GIRL NAME OF COCO. WHATâS WRONG WITH YOU? A REAL MAN GOES SWIMMIN WITH SHARKS, LINE DANCES, AND THE ONLY 15-YEAR-OLD HE CARES ABOUT IS A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH! (laffs) TURN IN YOUR MAN CARD, YOU PENCIL NECK, PINHEAD! (laffs) WHERE YOU BEEN, YOU BALD HAIRED FRAUD? IS YOU AND SLICK RICK SPENDING THE SUMMER UP ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AGAIN? (laffs) âI DONâT KNOW HOW TO QUIT YOU, SLICK!â (laffs) I CAINT BLEEVE WH&S DINT HAVE SENATOR MATT
The Beasman bout to Nuh-Wore-uh y’all Cards fans out
THE BEASMAN whoâs coming back? HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! ITâS THAT STUPID TIME OF YEAR WHEN PEOPLE START PRE-DICTIFYING NEXT YEARâS BASKETBAW TEAMS WITH SCIENTIFIC POs. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS LOADED FOR NEXT YEAR SO YâALL U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES AINâT GOTTA PRAYER OF WHOOPIN US! (laffs) I LOVE IT! EVER YEAR, U OF SMELL IDIOTS START TAWKIN ABOUT âWAIT TIL YOU SEE NEXT YEARâS CARDINAL BIRDS TEAM!â (laffs) AND THEN U UH KAY SMASHES YOUR FACE IN AGAIN AND YâALL SNAGGLE TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GRAFITTI PAINTIN, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST CARDINAL FOOLS START CRYIN ABOUT âWAIT TIL NEXT YEAR!â (laffs) BUT THE TRUTH IS COACH CAL GOT U OF SMELLâS NUMBER.
The Beasman ain’t too pleased about Big Blue Nation outside looking in at the Final Four
THE BEASMAN natl championship night SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE ABOUT THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS GAME, YOU BALD HAIRED, TRAITOR TURNCOAT, BACKSTABBING U OF SMELL SUCKUP! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS AINâT IN NO MOOD FOR JOSHIN, DADGUMMIT. THIS WAS POSED TO BE OUR NIGHT WITH ERRBODY SCREAMIN GO BIG BLUE AND TELLIN ALL THE OTHER SCHOOLS THAT THEY SUCK. IT FEELS LIKE THE GRINCH DONE STOLE OUR BLUE CHRISTMAS AGAIN, LARRY MINNER. âCOACH CAL FOR LIFEâ BETTER GIT US A WILDCAT CHAMPERCHIPS NEXT YEAR OR ELSE HIS LIFETIME DEAL IS GONNA END. A LIFETIME CONTRACT IS ONLY GOOD AS LONG AS YOUâS ALIVE, DADGUMMIT! YOU HEAR ME, COACH CAL? DONâT HUMILERATE BIG BLUE NATION
The Beasman weeps as The Fraidy Cats fizzle out of the NCAA tournament
THE BEASMAN itâs over (weep) IT CAINT BE REE-REE-REAL, CAT FANS! (weep) IT JUST C-C-C-C-CAINT. THE CATS DONE GOT SKEERED AND FOLDED LIKE A TENT TO THEM F.B.I. CHEATIN, SWEATY BRUCE PEARL AUBURN TIGER NOBODIES. WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS A-GOIN ON ROUND HERE? COACH CAL SUCKS! (weep) I AINT SLEPT A WINK, LARRY MINNER, CUZ I KNOW YOU AND ALL THEM CROSS-EYED, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, FACE TATTOO, FILTHY CARDINAL FANS IS SMIRKIN. DADGUMMIT! WE IS IN PAIN AND ALL YOU HEARTLESS LOSERVILLE CHEATERS GOT THE CAHONES TO LAUGH AT OUR MISERY? WHAT KIND OF SICK-IN-THE-HEAD WHACK JOBS IS YOU? (weep) IâLL CALL YOU BACK LATER. I NEED TO TAKE ANOTHER FISTFUL
Big Blue Smack Talk – never calm before the storm
THE BEASMAN game night AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) ITâS SWEET 16 FRIDEE NIGHT AND AMERICAâS TEAM, THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS, IS GONNA CRUSH HOUSTON LIKE THEY IS IN THE ALAMO. AINâT THAT IN HOUSTON? DONâT MATTER, THE MIGHTY WILDCATS GONNA TREAT HOUSTON LIKE ITâS JUSSIE SMOLLETT WALKIN HOME FROM SUBWAY AT 2 IN THE MARNIN WITH A FROZEN TUNA FISH SAMMICH. KA-POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER, HOUSTON! (laffs) TOO BAD TENNERSEE LOST TO HURT THE S.E.C. BUT YOU GOTTA REE-LIZE THEM REFFERMARIES IN LOSERVILLE IS LOWDOWN CHEATERS. THATâS JUST THE LOSERVILLE WAY OF LIFE! (laffs) WHEN YOU GIT SENT TO CHEATERVILLE, EXPECT TO GIT CHEATED! (laffs) TOO BAD, SO SAD, TENNERSEE! (laffs) AUBURN AND L.S.WHO. PROLLY
IT’S ALWAYS A SWEETER 16 WHEN LOSERVILLE AIN’T THERE
THE BEASMAN sweet 16 for the cats SWEEEEEEEEEET 16, LARRY MINNER! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! OUR PRECIOUS KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GONNA ROCK (ohio state or Houston) JOCK COME FRIDEE! WE GONNA ROUGH EM UP LIKE THEY IS JUSSIE SMOLLETT WALKIN TO GIT A TUNA FISH SAMMICH AT 2 OâCLOCK IN THE MARNIN (laffs) QUIT TAWKIN ABOUT THE MULLER REPORT, PIREBALL, RICH LADIES . OR ANYTHING ELSE. ALL THAT MATTERS RIGHT NOW IS COACH CAL AND THE CATS! AMERICA IS BIG BLUE NATION! EVERBODY KNOWS THIS HERE IS U UH KAYâS CHAMPERCHIP COMIN UP. WE GONNA GIT PJ BACK. HERRO IS A HERO. REED TRAVIS IS BETTER THAN LEE-BRON JAMES. THE NC2A DONE CARVED KENTUCKY WILDCATS NAME ONTO THE CHAMPERCHIPS
UofL hits the skids and The Beasman ain’t too blue about it
THE BEASMAN cathlick magic POOR, POOR CARDINAL BIRDS. DONE LOST âEM THREE IN A ROW AND AINâT NO RELIEF IN SIGHT. MARCH SADNESS STARTS TOMORROW IN YOUR GHETTO TOWN WHILE THE REST OF BIG BLUE NATION GITS READY TO WIN ANOTHER CHAMPERCHIPS! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! BUT OL U OF SMELL CAINT EVEN BEAT NOBODY BOSTON BAKED BEAN COLLEGE. (laffs) TOO BAD, SO SAD! (laffs) YOU KNOW LARRY, IâD LIKE TO SAY ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS FANS IS FEELIN PITY FOR YOU LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES BUT I DONâT WANNA LIE RIGHT HERE ON THE LECTRIC RADIO. (laffs) YâALL U OF SMELL FAILURES NEED TO