radio scripts for Monday, November 28, 2016 THE BEASMAN #1 it’s over OH BOO HOO HOOOOO! KEEP CRYIN’ YOUR CARDINAL TEARS…THEY’RE DELICIOUS! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS! KEEP BURNIN THEM COUCHES, CAT FANS! THIS HERE IS BIGGER ‘EN CHRISTMAS! U UH KAY DONE SLAYED THE EVIL CARDINAL DEMONS! STEPHEN JOHNSON FOR HEISMAN! MARK STOOPS FOR S.E.C. COACH OF THE YEAR! U UH KAY WILDCATS FOR THE PLAYOFFS! BOOM WILLIAMS FOR PLAYER OF THE YEAR! AWWWW BLUE! WHITE! BLUE! WHITE! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) IT’S FINALLY OVER FOR YOU LOWDOWN, SAGGY PANTS, BACKWARDS CAP, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GANG BANG, U OF SMELL CARDINAL POSERS. YOU DONE BEEN EXPOSED BY THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! AIN’T NO
Tag: Kentucky
High holy season returns to Kentucky
The joy quotient in the Commonwealth of Kentucky shoots through the ceiling every November when basketball season begins. It's a religion in the state. Other states celebrate Rhodes scholars changing the world. We celebrate sweaty teenagers who can dunk a ball or sprint with a pigskin. That's just who we are. >>>>>>>>>RADIO SCRIPT>>>>>>>>> THE BEASMAN tipoff luncheon air date 10-28-16 WELL, THERE’S YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK OUT THERE TO THE TIPOFF LUNCHEON TELLING HIS LIES AGAIN. “OHHH. U OF SMELL FANS IS GONNA BE HAPPY AGAIN CUZ WE GONNA GO OUT THERE AND WIN ANOTHER BANNER.” THAT’S A BUNCH OF HORSE PUCKEY. WHAT KIND OF BANNER IS THAT I-TALIAN MAFIA MAN TAWIN BOUT…A MEMORIAL BANNER FOR
The ups of the Downs: another stunning Kentucky Derby
Nyquist captured the 142nd Kentucky Derby on a splendid day in Louisville. After Nyquist won the Florida Derby, O'Neill opted to send his undefeated horse to Lexington to prep for the Derby instead of flying him back to California. Nyquist had great runs at Keeneland and shipped over to Louisville less than a week before he would capture the roses at the Derby. Now it's on to Baltimore for the Preakness Stakes on May 21st. Beauty overwhelms Churchill Downs throughout Derby week. Actress Mira Sorvino told me that she felt "as though I've stepped into a completely elegant era from long ago." Not everyone behaved at Churchill Downs. Drunk teens in preppy clothes tend to lose their minds in the
Drawing conclusions both left and right, black and white
The cartoon below from Joel Pett of the Lexington Herald-Leader created quite an uproar over the reference to Governor-elect Matt Bevin's children, four of whom are adopted African Americans from Ethiopia. MY RADIO INTERVIEW WITH JOEL PETT HERE --- Mr. Pett said he has no preconceived agenda for drawing future cartoons about soon-to-be Governor Bevin. The governor-elect issued a strong response: Statement from Governor-Elect Matt Bevin Regarding the Lexington Herald-Leader Cartoon Frankfort, KY - The following is a statement from Governor-Elect Matt Bevin regarding the cartoon by Joel Pett published in today's Lexington Herald-Leader: "They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Indeed, today, the Lexington Herald-Leader chose to articulate with great clarity the deplorably racist ideology of "cartoonist", Joel
A Harlan who sings like a Darlin’
The incredible Jordan Smith is crushing it on NBC's The Voice. The Harlan, Kentucky native is the inevitable winner of this season's singing competition. No one else comes close to matching his talent.
God said, Matt said
Governor-elect Bevin 11/6/15 press conference notes: Tax returns? Bite me. Must purge that silly constitutional ban on duels Orders yet another east end bridge right through Yarmuth's living room Ban sinful state song - ‘tis summer, the people are gay Believes pyramids were built in a right-to-work part of Egypt Inaugural ball dance - east coast conga man Free health care? Lick your wounds, Stumbo Cockfights encouraged unless they involve two men Meet my cousin, West Boro Already ordered Confederate Flag draperies 9 kids, 9 cabinet positions Mitch? Mitch? What do I do now? Kim Davis newly engaged to the Jefferson Davis statue united we stand, unless you're a heathen Hey Beshear, kynect your lips to my booty
A banner day for the Lawrence family
Congratulations to the Lawrence family, Louisville's Camp Hi Ho heroes. Here's the #JennifersLouisville banner on the Sixth Street side of the Ky Center in #DowntownLou. Thanks to #DowntownLouisvillePartnership, Mike Sheehy, Scott Kuhn, and everyone else who helped us bring this project to fruition. #celebrate #Louisville #Kentucky Jen's response: ““I feel so lucky to be born and raised a Louisville girl,” said Lawrence. “Louisville gave me a perspective and informed my identity in a beautiful and honest way. I’m grateful for this honor and extremely humbled to join this list. (I mean, Muhammad Ali?) Thank you. Go Cards.” From Gary & Karen Lawrence: "The Lawrence family would like to thank everyone involved in this project. We think it is so cool that the
Jennifer’s Louisville
The "Jennifer's Louisville" banner goes up this Saturday on the 6th Street side of the Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts (visible to eastbound I-64 traffic). Jen's response: ““I feel so lucky to be born and raised a Louisville girl,” said Lawrence. “Louisville gave me a perspective and informed my identity in a beautiful and honest way. I’m grateful for this honor and extremely humbled to join this list. (I mean, Muhammad Ali?) Thank you. Go Cards.” From Gary & Karen Lawrence: "The Lawrence family would like to thank everyone involved in this project. We think it is so cool that the City of Louisville would honor our daughter in this way. Thank you so much." #JennifersLouisville #DowntownLou #HometownHeroes #LouisvilleDowntownPartnership Movie buffs
The Beasman is ready for some footbaw
THE BEASMAN football is here HELLO, IDIOT. IS YOU STILL TURNIN CARTWHEELS OVER THE GOOD CHURCH LADY GOIN TO JAIL? HOW DARE THEM SUPREME COURT GAY LOVERS PUT A GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN BEHIND BARS JUST FOR BEIN A CATS FAN. YOU KNOW SHE’S BLUE, LARRY, CUZ SHE GOT MORALS AND SHE AINT GOT NO TATTOOS LIKE U OF SMELL THUGS DO. AND IF SHE’S IN A CELL, THAT TAKES UP A SPACE WHERE A U OF SMELL CRIMINAL OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP. US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS DON’T LIKE US NO GAY BOYS. MEMBER WHEN WE USED TO SHOUT “MATT WALSH IS GAY” OVER AND OVER IN RUPP ARENER? CAT FANS IS GOD FEARIN
Kentucky Kim has gone prime time
History has taught (some of) us that mixing religion and state does not work. "The sooner Kentuckians learn that lesson, the better." - columnist Tom Eblen in the Lexington Herald Leader As resistance to gay marriage roils Kentuckians, here is more historical wisdom from Courier-Journal columnist Joe Gerth and political perspective from Al Cross For once, the spotlight isn't on a Kim named Kardashian. Err...Kentucky offers the world Kim Davis, the Rowan County clerk who refuses to issue marriage licenses to LGBT in spite of the Supreme Court ruling allowing for gay marriage. Now she's in jail. Kim doesn't understand American history as Thomas Jefferson wrote of the wall of separation of church and state. Now that licenses are being offered in