radio sketch, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2016, 5:40 p.m. THE BEASMAN the turnaround starts now HAS THE WORLD GONE CRAZY? U UH KAY IS ON A LOSING STREAK AND U OF SMELL IS BUILDING THE BIGGEST FOOTBAW STADIUM IN KENTUCKY. EITHER I’M HAVING A HARRIBLE NIGHTMARE OR ELSE SOMEBODY AT U UH KAY IS ASLEEP AT THE SWITCH! WAKE UP, MITCH BARNFART! WAKE UP COACH CAL! WAKE UP, MARK STOOPID! NOW I HEAR TELL THAT HOTSHOT WIDE RECEIVERS COACH WE JUST SNATCHED FROM U OF SMELL WAS ACTUALLY FIRED FROM LOSERVILLE CUZ HE SUCKS! AND HE DINT BRING LAMAR JACKSON WITH HIM! I THUNK THAT WAS THE WHOLE PLAN. MEMBER HOW COACH CAL HIRED
Tag: john calipari
Nothing could be finer than beating Carolina in prime time
THE BEASMAN north carolina is in town (WHAS Radio segment, runs 4:45 PM, February 1, 2016) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LARRY…WHAT IS Y’ALL SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE CHECK, GOLD TOOTH, STRIPPER POLE, TARC BUS RIDIN, OBAMA PHONE, PROSTITUTE HIRIN U OF SMELL FRAUDS GONNA DO TONIGHT AGAINST NARTH CARAMALINER? YOU KNOW YOU GONNA GIT CRUSHED LIKE A BUG SO WHY DON’T SLICK RICK THROW IN THE TOWEL RIGHT NOW? HE SAID THE BIG MAN WAS REAL SICK THE OTHER DAY WHEN NOBODY VIRGINNY THROWED Y’ALL AROUND LIKE A PIT BULL CHEWIN A RAG DOLL. --------------------WHAT IN THE SAM HILL YOU THINK ROY WILLIAMS AND THE TURD HEELS GONNA DO TO Y’ALL TONIGHT? IT’LL PROBLEE BE A HUNDERD TO NOTHIN
The Beasman relishes Terry’s “Walk of Shame” away from Rupp Arena
The Beasman is UK's most overzealous fan. He calls my WHAS Radio show anytime UK soars or U of L sinks. When UK beats U of L, the Beasman is practically bursting through his skin.
It starting to look like God is not a Cats fan
THE BEASMAN uk loses again air date 12/21/15 I WISH DONALD TRUMP WOULD BAN BALD HAIRED LIARS LIKE YOU FROM BEIN IN AMERICA. YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN TRAITOR TURNCOAT TERRORIST. YOU WENT TO U UH KAY BUT YOU IS ON THE RADIO SAYIN YOU IS PULLIN FOR U OF SMELL THIS SAIRDEE. THAT’S LIKE CHEERIN FOR ISIS. IS YOU SICK IN THE HEAD OR JUST STUPID? YOU IS LYIN ABOUT LOVIN U OF SMELL BECAUSE YOU IS JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK HAPPY. EVEN HE IS A SECRET WILDCAT FAN, LARRY. YOU AIN’T FOOLIN NOBODY. ALL GOOD KENTUCKIANS IS FOR THE CATS BECAUSE
The Beasman is back on his payphone, savoring UofL’s scandals
THE BEASMAN rofl scandals 12/11/15 HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! WHAT KIND OF SCANDAL IS U OF SMELL DENYING TODAY? (laffs) “HEY DON’T WORRY ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO GIVE MONEY TO U OF SMELL….THE FBI INVESTERGATES ALL SCHOOLS…NOTHING TO SEE HERE…KEEP SENDING IN YOUR CHECKS.” YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, IDIOT U OF SMELL FANS IS REAPING WHAT YOU SOW WHEN YOU HIRE SCALAWAGS LIKE SLICK RICK, TOMMY TURTLENECK, AND BOBBY PETRINO. THEY IS PAYIN THEIRSELFS MILLIONS WITH YOUR DONATIONS AND THEN HIRING CRIMINALS FOR STEALING MORE MONEY OR BUYING PROSTERTUTES OR HAVING AFFAIRS WITH SOME SKANK. U OF SMELL IS A SOAP OPRY, CALL IT “ALL MY SCANDALS,” AND Y’ALL COULD
#1 UK not ready for Hollywood lights
How did unranked UCLA beat #1 UK so decisively? Sports Illustrated's Gregory Habeeb explains. RADIO SCRIPT: THE BEASMAN ucla breakdown (crying) I’M BACK IN MY BED WITH THE COVERS PULT UP OVER MY HEAD, LARRY MINNER. (cry hard) IT AIN’T POSED TO BE LIKE ISS, DADGUMMIT. YESTERDEE I WAS LAUGHIN AND CARRYIN ON ABOUT HOW SLICK RICK AND THE LOSERVILLE FRAUDS GOT CLOWNED BY MICHERGAN STATE BUT TODAY THEM CALIFARNIA ILLEGAL ALIEN WELFARE MOOCHERS IS DOIN ALL THE LAFFIN BECAUSE THEY BEAT AMERICA’S TEAM, THE CATS. (cry) DON’T YOU SMIRK, LARRY MINNER. I HEAR YOU SMIRKIN. I BET YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK WAS UP ALL NIGHT LAUGHIN ABOUT UCLA WHOOPIN COACH CAL
38 and no; Coach Cal still sensitive about missing perfection
University of Kentucky head basketball coach John Calipari does not take kindly to sports talk hosts questioning his coaching strategies. What started as a playful give-and-take with radio host Dan Patrick turned a bit awkward. It's all good. You people are crazy! It's all about these kids.
Perfection Rejection – Kentucky loses
You'd better stay away from this guy for a few weeks. The vaunted Kentucky Wildcats basketball team lost to Wisconsin, ending a streak of 38 straight wins on a path to what seemed to be perfection. RADIO SCRIPTS FOR MONDAY, APRIL 6, 2015 THE BEASMAN #1 buy all the tickets WHY, GOD, WHY? (sniffing and crying) I AINT GOT OUTTA BED YET CUZ MY HEART DONE BEEN BROKE WHEN THE PATH TO PERFECTION WENT OVER A CLIFF. (cry) THEY TELL ME EASTER SUNDEE CHURCH SERVICES ACROSS KENTUCKY WAS LIKE A GHOST TOWN. NO CAT FANS NOWHERE. WE’S ALL SICK TO OUR BONES WITH ANOTHER FINAL FOUR MELTDOWN. I WAS BUXPECTIN TO CALL UP HERE TODAY AND MAKE FUN OF YOU
How sweet it is again
The Kentucky Wildcats and Louisville Cardinals have both reached the Sweet 16 in the NCAA Tournament. Louisville once again is the highest-rated American TV market for game watching. Final Four Fever is throttling up again as dominating Kentucky is expected to sweep right through for the Wildcats' 9th national championship. BONUS VIDEO: The NCAA posted a profile of Montrezl Harrell re: Louisville's storied history with The Dunk The Beasman radio script for March 23, 2015 FARDY & OH WITH 4 TO GO! FARDY & OH WITH 4 TO GO! FARDY & OH WITH 4 TO GO! CATS! CATS! CATS! YOU KNOW ALL THEM OTHER TEAMS ABOUT TO POOTY THEIR PANTS WORRIED ABOUT HAVING TO PLAY
“No one will steal my joy” — John Calipari
There will be no loser edit for John Calipari. His reality of success is sealed. Following a flawless regular season of 31 wins without a hiccup, the Kentucky Wildcats have a potential nine games to complete the Path to Perfection. Coach John Calipari has his detractors and does not shy away from calling them out, even at a celebratory moment. Sports Illustrated asked if Kentucky's one-and-done format is killing college basketball. One Kentucky media member claims that Calipari privately revels in the misery of other coaches, most notably the recently admonished Jim Boeheim, a vocal critic of Cal. But most coaches have each others' backs, as Calipari illustrated in 2013 when he appeared at the Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame during the