THE BEASMAN nba combine LARRY, LARRY, LARRY. WHY DO YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, LITTLE BROTHER, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, RICKY JONES LOVIN, NECK TATTOO, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK CARDINAL CONVICT FANS ACT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT THE NBA COMBINE? OOOOOH. DONNERVAN MITCHELL IS TOO GOOD TO PLAY IN THE 5-ON-5 COMPERTITION BUT ISAIAH BRISKET GOTTA PLAY CUZ HE AINâT GONNA MAKE IT ON NO NBA TEAM. SUCK IT, LOSERVILLE FANS. I MEANâŚNO WONDER THEY JUST BANNED HOOKAH SMOKIN CUZ YâALL U OF SMELLERS MUST BE HIGH. DONNERVAN MITCHUM MIGHT AS WELL GIT USED TO A D-LEAGUE BUS. HE AINâT NEVER GONNA BE PRIME TIME LIKE ALL U UH KAY STARS. AINâT NO CARDINAL BIRD PLAYERS
Tag: john calipari
AUDIO: The Beasman says Coach Cal’s show was watched by more people than the Super Bowl, NBA Finals, World Series, and Kardashians combined
THE BEASMAN 30 for 30 AINT NO SECRET I BEEN SLEEPIN IN A TENT ON THE SIDEWALK OUTSIDE MEMORIAL COLLER-SEUM WAITIN ON NEXT SEASONâS MIDNIGHT MADNESS TICKETS. WELL I AINT THERE NO MORE BUT NOT MY FAULT. THEM EASTER STARMS COME RUMBLIN THROUGH HERE AND THIS COP COMES ALONG AND SAYS âBEASMAN, I CAINT LET YOU KEEP THIS TENT HERE CUZ IF A LIGHTNIN BOLT HITS THAT K-FLAG UP ON TOP YOU GONNA GIT FRIED LIKE BACON.â SO HE SENT ME HOME AND TODE ME TO COME BACK IN SEPTEMBER WHEN THEY HAND OUT THE TICKETS. SO I COME HOME AND GOT CAUGHT UP ON EVERTHANG. DADGUMMIT, I WATCHED ME THAT 30 + 30 THING ON COACH CAL
The Cal Cast: united we stand after all
THE BEASMAN January 19. 2017 I BEEN SICK TO MY STOMACH ALL DAY LISSENINâ TO COACH CALâS PRODCAST TAWKIN TO THAT LOWDOWN U OF SMELL TRAITOR TURNCOAT SLICK RICK. HERE I WAS ALL BUCITED THAT COACH CAL WAS FINALLY GONNA GIT ON THE PRODCAST RADIO STATION AND RIP A NEW ONE INTO THAT NO COUNT U OF SMELL COACH BUT NAWWWWWâŚ.THEY WAS TAWKIN ALL SWEETY-PIE TO EACH OTHER. âYOU IS SO GREAT.â âTHANK YOU, AND YOU IS SO GREAT, TOO.â BARF! I TUNED IN HOPIN IT WAS GONNA BE COACH CAL LAUGHIN AT SLICK RICKâS BALD SPOT AND HOW U UH KAY DOMMERATES THEM LITTLE BROTHER CARDINAL CRYBABIES ALMOST EVER TIME! AND COACH CAL
Cards top Cats 73-70 guaranteeing Blue Christmas
UofL played a terrific game against a talent-heavy Kentucky squad, relieving pressure on what's been a lopsided rivalry. Big win for Louisville. Great night for Quentin Snider & Deng Adel vs UK's vaunted guard tandem of Malik Monk and De'Aaron Fox. My radio buddy The Beasman isn't happy about his Cats, his Coach, or his Christmas. Along with Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson, Louisville Ballard alum Quentin "Q" Snider both became the toasts of the holiday season on Planet Red. One little Q down in Louville knew... this Christmas would not be blue#L1C4 pic.twitter.com/RqR8d6Eqn2— Terry Meiners (@terrymeiners) December 22, 2016 THE BEASMAN cats lose to cards (sad with sniffles) MAYBE COACH CAL SHOULDA STOLE YOUR PLAYBOOK, YOU BUNCH OF CROSS-EYED, TWO-BIT, GOD-HATIN
The Humble Heisman Hero
First team All-America, Heisman Trophy, Walter Camp Award, Maxwell Award, and AP college football player: it's been a pretty solid week for Lamarvelous. Swirling through his victory parade after winning the Heisman Trophy, University of Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson visited Dan Patrick, one of the best interviewers in sports. Great stuff considering that Lamar is one of the most shy superstars in college sports. Patrick did a masterful job of pulling info from this humble student athlete. University of Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari was also scheduled for the December 12th Dan Patrick Show. The UK coach and UofL quarterback talked about next week's rivalry basketball game between their schools. Cal tweeted a photo he took with Lamar, then heaped
The Beasman: God smites Cards for playbook theft, Cats shock the world
radio scripts for Monday, November 28, 2016 THE BEASMAN #1 itâs over OH BOO HOO HOOOOO! KEEP CRYINâ YOUR CARDINAL TEARSâŚTHEYâRE DELICIOUS! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS! KEEP BURNIN THEM COUCHES, CAT FANS! THIS HERE IS BIGGER âEN CHRISTMAS! U UH KAY DONE SLAYED THE EVIL CARDINAL DEMONS! STEPHEN JOHNSON FOR HEISMAN! MARK STOOPS FOR S.E.C. COACH OF THE YEAR! U UH KAY WILDCATS FOR THE PLAYOFFS! BOOM WILLIAMS FOR PLAYER OF THE YEAR! AWWWW BLUE! WHITE! BLUE! WHITE! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) ITâS FINALLY OVER FOR YOU LOWDOWN, SAGGY PANTS, BACKWARDS CAP, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GANG BANG, U OF SMELL CARDINAL POSERS. YOU DONE BEEN EXPOSED BY THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! AINâT NO
Coach Cal and Rick Pitino: crying on the yachts
With perpetual local interest in basketball, media outlets have found an off season storyline. The head basketball coaches at UK and U of L are in a war of words. Last week, Kentucky's John Calipari launched a not-very-subtle slam at Louisville's Rick Pitino, saying that coaches know about scandalous behavior when it happens on campus. Louisville is stewing in a sex scandal related to prostitutes brought into its basketball dorm. The NCAA is expected to make its final ruling soon. Calipari's notorious vacated Final Fours at UMass and Memphis were rooted in off-campus misdeeds by players. After Calipari's radio rant last week with Mike Lupica, Pitino returned fire this week on my radio show. AUDIO: Pitino also commented on Governor Matt Bevin's dismissal
The Beasman roiled by radio renewal with WHAS
THE BEASMAN renew with rofl (airs April 28, 2016) YOU MAKE ME SICK WITH ALL YOUR U OF SMELL RAH-RAH-RAH NONSENSE, YOU BALD HAIRED, TWO BIT, TRAITOR TURNCOAT WENT-TO-U-UH-KAY-BUT-ACT-LIKE-YOU-LOVE THE CARDINAL CRIMINALS. I HEERED THE BAD NEWS. THEM RADIO RATS AT I HEART & WH&S AND THE 790-KRD DONE RENEWED THEIR VOWS WITH THE ENEMA U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS UNTIL THE YEAR TWUNNY TWUNNY TWO. ITâS DISGUSTERCATING, DADGUMMIT. WHY IN THE SAM HILL DOES KENTUCKYâS #1 RADIO STATION GIANT SIGNAL BLOW TORCH WH&S WANT TO PUMP OUT FIFTY THOUSAND WATTS OF CARDINAL CRIMINAL ACTIVITY WHEN YOU ALL COULD BE ON THERE TAWKIN UP THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS? IT DONâT MAKE NO
Hoosier doozy
The Indiana Hoosiers beat the Kentucky Wildcats 73-67 in the second round of the NCAA Tournament, a very rare early departure for UK. Kentucky coach John Calipari was gracious in defeat, telling Indiana coach Tom Crean "I'm happy for you." Crean has been pilloried by IU fans in recent years for what they consider slow progress. 2015 gave us Crying Piccolo GirlNow, 2016 gives us...Crying Saxophone Girl. pic.twitter.com/f6x9ZRBOlp— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) March 19, 2016 A member of the UK band is the early frontrunner for Meme Queen of the Tournament The Crying Jordan meme was quickly pressed into service... ...generating bitterness from some sensitive UK fans. Louisville fans are reveling in schadenfreude, or enjoying the misery of others. Kentucky fans have
Bringing the Kenny Payne Train
When University of Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari gets tossed just two minutes into a hostile road game, Kenny Payne slides over to the head coach's seat and leads the Wildcats to a 27 point beatdown upon South Carolina. Payne reportedly told Kentucky guard Tyler Ulis, "You coach the offense, I'll coach the defense." Ulis scored 27 points and 12 assists. Ulis is indeed one of the greatest guards in UK's storied history. A few minutes after the final horn, Coach Cal tweeted his approval (from the team bus out back?). I have never been more proud of a team. They are now empowered. They've proven that they dont need me and I love it.— John Calipari (@UKCoachCalipari) February 13, 2016