THE BEASMAN slick dumps larry HEY LAREEEE! LARRY DADGUM MINNER! (laffs) I CANâT BLEEVE YOU AINâT CHECKED INTO OUR LADY UH PEACE FOR MENTAL ILLNESS. YOU GOT TO BE DOWNRIGHT DEE-PRESSED OVER ALL KINDA THANGS. THROW THEM STUPID Ls UP, YOU LOSERS! L STANDS FOR LOSER! L STANDS FOR LOSER! (laffs) YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS GOT BLASTED OUT OF THE STADIUM AGAINST BIGTIME S.E.C. FOOTBAW. OL NICK SABAN KICKED YOUR CARDINAL BEAKS SO HARD YOU CAINâT EVEN WHISTLE DIXIE! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS SHOWED THEY IS ANOTHER S.E.C. PIRE BY TROUNCIN MICHERGAN LASS SAIRDEE, AND NOW WE GONNA WHOOP US SOME FLOR-I-DER GATORS. CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP DOWN ON THAT STREAK CUZ ITâS OVER! THE STREAK
Tag: joe b hall
An unverified preview of Rick Pitino’s tell-all book
SLICK RICKâS BOOK OF LIES as read by The Beasman CHAPTER ONE I, SLICK RICK BUTEENER, DO SOLEMN-TY SWEAR THAT EVERTHANG I WROTE DOWN HERE IS A HUNDERD TEN PERCENT TRUE. BACK IN OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FIFTEEN, I WAS IN MY OFFICE PRAYINâ THE ROSARY, MAKIN DONATIONS TO CHARITIES, AND SEWING AMERICAN FLAGS FOR DISABLED VETRENS WHEN THE PHONE RINGS. I PICK IT UP AND MY BALD FAN BOY LARRY MINNER IS A-SCREAMIN SOMETHIN ABOUT THEREâS THIS FLOOZY NAME OF KATRINER POWELL AND SHEâS A-GOIN ON MATT JONES LECTRIC RADIO SHOW TAWKIN BOUT STRIPPERS SEXINâ UP THE U OF SMELL BASKETBAW PLAYERS IN THE DARM. AND I SAYS âLARRY, SHEâS LYIN. AINâT NOBODY HAS SEX IN THEM
Cats lose. Beasman wants Coach Cal fired and that rotten Sister Jean excommunicated
THE BEASMAN cats lose (cry) I WOULDNâT A-SHOOK THEIR HANDS, NEITHER. BUNCH OF STREET THUG, SCRAPPING, LYIN, CHEATING, BRASS KNUCKLE, CAT O NINE TAILS, BASEBAW BAT SWINGING, PUNK, HIPPIE, SNOWFLAKE, M.M.A., FACE KICKIN, NOBODY, KANSAS WHEAT FIELD TRASH. (cry) I AINâT SLEPT A DADGUM WINK, LARRY MINNER. THIS CAINT BE REAL. (cry) WE IS THE CATS! AINâT NOBODY POSED TO PUSH US AROUND AND DO ALL THAT BALL SLAPPIN, REACH-IN, SHAWNEE PARK DIRT BOWL, RUMBLINâ, GUN TOTIN, DRIVE-BY SHOOTIN, NECK TATTOO, 8-ON-5, GANG BANG, BRAWLER BALLIN AGAINST THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! WHO DO THEY THINK THEY IS, SOME PRISON PLAYGROUND TEAM? (cry) THEM REFFERMARIES WAS LETTIN
Silence of the NCAA – death penalty, where is thy sting?
The week passes without an official notice from the NCAA on whether the University of Louisville's appeal of sanctions will be honored. All speculation is that the NCAA will affirm the original sanctions that include nullifying the 2013 men's basketball national championship, the 2012 Final Four appearance, and return of monies earned by the school for any games where ineligible players performed. Ineligibility was assigned to any player who had received sexual favors during a three year period where alleged prostitute Katina Powell provided women to players, recruits, and recruit chaperones. But the NCAA's silence doesn't keep The Beasman quiet. RADIO SKETCH JANUARY 26, 2018 YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU TRAITOR TURNCOAT WILDCAT BACKSTABBER. I HEAR YOU ON THERE SMIRKIN AND
The Beasman is still tore up about another Florida jinx game
THE BEASMAN florida curse continues (crying) LARRYâŚI CAINT TAKE IT NO MORE. STOP TAWKIN BOUT THAT GOLFER FROM LOSERVILLE AND TAWK ABOUT WHAT WE GONNA DO NOW WITH U UH KAY! (crying) IâM SO TORE UP. (crying) THE FLORIDER JINX IS CRUSHIN MY WILDCAT HEART. (crying) LITTLE WILDCAT KIDS COULDNâT GO TO SCHOOL TODAY CUZ THEYâS DEE-PRESSED. THEIR WILDCAT MOMMIES AND DADDIES STAYED HOME DRINKIN, CRYIN, AND CUSSIN THEM REFFERMARIES. (crying) IT AINâT F-F-F-FUNNY WHEN U UH KAY LOSES. ITâS ONLY FUNNY WHEN U OF SMELL IS A F-F-F-F-FAILURE. (crying) I THUNK FOR SURE WHEN THE CATS WAS UP 27-14 THAT THE 30-YEAR JINX WAS OVER. WE WAS HIGH-FIVIN AND LAUGHIN
The real Joe B Hall finally appeared on the Larry Minner radio show
Joe B Hall, 1978 national championship coach of the Kentucky Wildcats basketball team, earned yet another honor. His hometown of Cynthiana installed a giant mural of the coach painted onto the side of the local Masonic building. Naturally we had to talk on the radio about fishing, babysitting, working in tobacco fields, and small town fun. We never even got around to basketball. Enjoy. The Beasman is a Kentucky legend and an American treasure.
The Beasman: God smites Cards for playbook theft, Cats shock the world
radio scripts for Monday, November 28, 2016 THE BEASMAN #1 itâs over OH BOO HOO HOOOOO! KEEP CRYINâ YOUR CARDINAL TEARSâŚTHEYâRE DELICIOUS! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS! KEEP BURNIN THEM COUCHES, CAT FANS! THIS HERE IS BIGGER âEN CHRISTMAS! U UH KAY DONE SLAYED THE EVIL CARDINAL DEMONS! STEPHEN JOHNSON FOR HEISMAN! MARK STOOPS FOR S.E.C. COACH OF THE YEAR! U UH KAY WILDCATS FOR THE PLAYOFFS! BOOM WILLIAMS FOR PLAYER OF THE YEAR! AWWWW BLUE! WHITE! BLUE! WHITE! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) ITâS FINALLY OVER FOR YOU LOWDOWN, SAGGY PANTS, BACKWARDS CAP, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GANG BANG, U OF SMELL CARDINAL POSERS. YOU DONE BEEN EXPOSED BY THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! AINâT NO
The Beasman can’t bear to watch UofL thrive
radio sketch, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2016, 5:40 p.m. THE BEASMAN the turnaround starts now HAS THE WORLD GONE CRAZY? U UH KAY IS ON A LOSING STREAK AND U OF SMELL IS BUILDING THE BIGGEST FOOTBAW STADIUM IN KENTUCKY. EITHER IâM HAVING A HARRIBLE NIGHTMARE OR ELSE SOMEBODY AT U UH KAY IS ASLEEP AT THE SWITCH! WAKE UP, MITCH BARNFART! WAKE UP COACH CAL! WAKE UP, MARK STOOPID! NOW I HEAR TELL THAT HOTSHOT WIDE RECEIVERS COACH WE JUST SNATCHED FROM U OF SMELL WAS ACTUALLY FIRED FROM LOSERVILLE CUZ HE SUCKS! AND HE DINT BRING LAMAR JACKSON WITH HIM! I THUNK THAT WAS THE WHOLE PLAN. MEMBER HOW COACH CAL HIRED
2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits a hooker
Surely you have heard that the University of Louisville basketball program is mired in an alleged sex scandal. A prostitute claims that she was paid by team staff member Andre McGee to provide female escorts for players, recruits, and sometimes the fathers of recruits. If true, and if the prostitute's claims that her own underage daughters were sometimes involved, massive federal charges related to sex trafficking on a public university campus would send the sports world into a Penn State Sandusky fervor and forever stain the careers of many prominent University of Louisville leaders. Early speculation is that head coach Rick Pitino will keep his job. (I've known Pitino for 25 years and my best guess is that he
NAILED IT!
This article appeared in the Louisville Courier-Journal on Sunday, October 26, 2014, nine days before Sen. Mitch McConnell crushed his opponent by more than 220,000 votes; a 56% - 41% beatdown. 'Chuck Todd effect' aids Grimes rebound Jonathan Miller, Special to The Courier-Journal 11:55 a.m. EDT October 26, 2014 Democratic challenger for U.S. Senate seat gains ground in the homestretch. Several weeks ago, it looked like I had made a bad bet when I picked the young, brash filly to upset the old war horse in the high-profile U.S. Senate derby in Kentucky this fall. U.S. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was ahead of his challenger, Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes, by an average of 4 points in most surveys, and the polling