THE BEASMAN cats on fire as cards fold (unaired portion of script) THEY DISSED US, LARRY! THEY DINT SHAKE OUR HANDS SO THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS HAD TO CRUSH THEIR SOUTH CARAMALINER SOULS FOR THE FOURTH TIME IN A ROW! WE ARE UK! WE ARE BIG BLUE! KENTUCKY PROUD! STOOPS TROOPS! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE LOVE US SOME KENTUCKY WILDCATS! BENNY SNELL SAID IT BEST: WE BE 3 AND OH! WE BE 3! WE BE 3! WE BE 3! I ARE A COLLEGE STUDENT! I ARE A COLLEGE STUDENT. GOOOOO BIG BLUE! BUT THE STOOPID TOP 25 PO STILL DONāT GOT NO U UH KAY IN IT. WHAT IN THE SAM HILL
Tag: college football
The boys of Summers
The University of Louisville football team hired Lexington native Mike Summers as co-offensive coordinator. He happens to be married to the Beasman's daughter. That can't sit well with his father-in-law. THE BEASMAN son-in-law traitor turncoat STOP TAWKIN ABOUT YOUR GREEN GAY BUTT PACKERS. AINT NOBODY CARES HERE IN WILDCAT COUNTRY! I BEEN PUKIN UP BLOOD EVER SINCE SAIRDEE, DADGUMMIT, AND IT AINāT CUZ YOUR FLUNKY U OF SMELL LOSERVILLE LITTLE BROTHERS BEAT THE DOOKIES. U UH KAY DONāT CARE ABOUT SLICK RICKāS HAS BEENS. NAW, US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS AINāT AFRAID OF NO BROKEBACK DUKE COACH SHIT-SHETSKI THE FOULMOUTH REFEREEāS PET. U UH KAY CAN BEAT DUKE BY A LOT MORE THAN YOUR SAGGY PANTS,
Louisville loves Lamarvelous
NEW YORK - University of Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson won the Heisman Trophy, a first for the university. Only 19, Jackson became the youngest winner of the award in its 81 year history. His 526 first place votes easily outpaced the 269 first place votes sportswriters and athletes generated for runner-up Deshaun Watson of Clemson University. Three other finalists were invited to the ceremony but their numbers were dwarfed by Jackson's 2,144 overall vote total. Prior to the award ceremony, the humble Jackson met the media to talk about family, football, and New York pizza.
Cats stun Cards 41-38 in football reversal of fortunes
It was a swagger switch no one anticipated...totally Trumpian in its scope. Ever since Donald Trump won the presidential election, the football fortunes of the University of Kentucky and University of Louisville turned in completely opposite directions. UK is soaring and UofL is imploding. Mark Stoops' Kentucky Wildcats were 25 point underdogs coming into Louisville's stadium for the regular season closer. Kentucky spent the season climbing out of its own rubble of unexpected early losses to eventually become bowl eligible. Louisville was sniffing the national championship playoffs until the Houston Cougars destroyed them last week. But at least UofL quarterback Lamar Jackson remained the prohibitive favorite to win the Heisman trophy. He even struck the pose
A U of L playoff is way off
THE BEASMAN Louisville football hammered HEY LARRRRRRREEEEEEEE! LARRY MINNERRRRR! YOUR CARDINAL TEARS IS DELICIOUS! THE BOOGER WAS RIGHT! NO PLAYOFFS FOR YOUR CARDINAL FRAUDS! CANCEL THE HEISMAN TROPHY! HOUSTON DONE EXPOSED LAY-MAR JACKSON AND HIS LITTLE HOPELESS CARDINAL BIRDS AS OVERRATED FRAUDS. OVERRATED! OVERRATED! LAY-MAR AINT GITTIN NO HEISMAN TROPHYā¦ITāS GOIN TO BOOM WILLIAMS. LAY-MAR GOT SACKED MORE THAN A KARDASHIAN ON A NBA TEAM BUS. AND YOUR OTHER GUYS WAS FUMBLIN ALL OVER THE PLACE. BUT I GOTTA TELL YAā¦YāALL GOT A GREAT PUNTER! (laff) HE WAS OUT THERE KICKIN LIKE A RADIO CITY ROCKETTE. KICK IT AGAIN, PUNTER MAN. ITāS THE ONLY YARDAGE U OF SMELL CAN MUSTER
High holy season returns to Kentucky
The joy quotient in the Commonwealth of Kentucky shoots through the ceiling every November when basketball season begins. It's a religion in the state. Other states celebrate Rhodes scholars changing the world. We celebrate sweaty teenagers who can dunk a ball or sprint with a pigskin. That's just who we are. >>>>>>>>>RADIO SCRIPT>>>>>>>>> THE BEASMAN tipoff luncheon air date 10-28-16 WELL, THEREāS YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK OUT THERE TO THE TIPOFF LUNCHEON TELLING HIS LIES AGAIN. āOHHH. U OF SMELL FANS IS GONNA BE HAPPY AGAIN CUZ WE GONNA GO OUT THERE AND WIN ANOTHER BANNER.ā THATāS A BUNCH OF HORSE PUCKEY. WHAT KIND OF BANNER IS THAT I-TALIAN MAFIA MAN TAWIN BOUTā¦A MEMORIAL BANNER FOR
Clemson clamps Cards
The Clemson Tigers snapped the perfect season for the Louisville Cardinals during a fierce finish where UofL was positioned to win. With less than :30 remaining, UofL receiver James Quick came up one yard short of a first down near the goal line. Clemson took a knee to run out the clock and remain undefeated, moving to 5-0. Louisville falls to 4-1 and trails Clemson in the A.C.C. You know the Beasman is loving every minute of Louisville's hiccup. THE BEASMAN loserville loses to Clemson (laffs hysterically) I LOVVVVVVVVVE IT! THANK YOU, CLEMSON! ALL US GOOD & CLASSY WILDCAT FANS LOVE US SOME CLEMSON TIGERS FOR PUTTING A STOP TO U OF SMELLāS PERFECT SEASON.
Oh Nole you didn’t!
The University of Louisville Cardinals football team blasted #2 ranked Florida State in one of Louisville's biggest victories ever. It will move the #10 Cardinals closer to the top of the rankings and solidifies its presence as an ACC football power. The new AP Poll bounced Louisville up to #3 behind Alabama and Ohio State. Watch the entire game in 25 minutes (two videos). Now Louisville is part of the national championship playoff conversation. Special helmet stickers honored Louisville's beloved son Muhammad Ali, who passed away in June. Our family was in Cardinal heaven. UofL dominated the entire game. ESPN's College GameDay show originated from the game. Students lined up starting at 4 am for the nine o'clock show. It
The Beasman don’t like losin’ to no Little Brother Loserville
THE BEASMAN first call after loss (crying) I DONāT WANNA GIT OUTTA BED, YOU BALD HAIRED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN CARDINAL FRAUD. LARRY, COME OVER HERE AND JUST HOLD MY PILLER DOWN OVER MY FACE UNTIL I STOP WIGGLIN. I KEEP THINKIN I DONāT WANNA LIVE NO MORE CUZ I CAINT STAND GITTIN MOCKED BY CARDINAL LOUDMOUTHS LIKE YOU. BUT I CALLED MY PREACHER AND HE SAID IF I COMMIT SEWER-CIDE THEN I IS GOIN TO HADES WHERE I WILL SPEND ETERNITY WITH NOTHIN BUT SINFUL, DEVIL WORSHIPPIN U OF SMELL FANS, SO I GOT TO FIGGER OUT HOW TO GO ON LIVIN. PLUS I GOT A āSPONSOR-BILITY TO ALL THE OTHER GOOD &
The real Captain Kirk
We had an excellent Q&A session with ESPN College Game Day star Kirk Herbstreit at the downtown Marriott. Kirk was funny, candid, and talked of his love for the growth of the game at Louisville and Kentucky. The luncheon was a benefit for The Parklands of Floyd's Fork. (photo by John Nation)