THE BEASMAN we want bama WE WANT BAMA! WE WANT BAMA! GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! BAMA IS GOIN DOWN! BAMA AIN’T NOBODY! THEY BUSPOSABLY IS RANKED NUMBER ONE BUT AMERICA AIN’T SEEN WHAT KENTUCKY CAN DO YET! WE IS BRINGIN THE PAIN TRAIN TO TUSCALOOSER! (laffs) WE IS KENTUCKY! WE’S THE BIG BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE DONE PUT A WHOOPIN ON THEM SMARTY PANTS VANDERSMELT NERDS BUT WE DINT USE NONE OF OUR GOOD PLAYS. NAW…WE SAVIN THEM FOR BAMA CUZ STOOPS KNOWS WHEN WE BEAT BAMA THEN WE IS #1! (laffs) WE GONNA CRUSH SABAN’S SISSIES BY USIN TWO QUARTERBACKS, THE ONE WHO CAN RUN DOWN LOW AND THE ONE WHO CAN PASS SETTIN UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!
Tag: coach cal
The Beasman loves Georgia Tech for crushing Cardinal dreams and giving Big Blue Nation the best Valentime EVER!
🚨 UPSET ALERT 🚨@GTMBB takes down No. 5 Louisville! pic.twitter.com/MH3EfLwcet— ACC Network (@accnetwork) February 13, 2020 THE BEASMAN Louisville loses (sing) I’M A RAMBLIN WRECK FROM JARJUH TECH AND A HECK OF AN ENGINEER! (laffs) HEY LAREEEEE! LARRY MINNER! I BEEN SINGIN THAT SONG ALL DAY LONG! (laffs) HOW’S YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, LOUDMOUTH, BEER BREATH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, SANCTUARY CITY LOSERVILLE FRAUDS FEELIN TODAY? (laffs) EVERBODY IN BIG BLUE NATION IS REEEEEEEEEAAAAAALLLL HAPPY! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (sing) I’M A RAMBLIN WRECK FROM JARJUH TECH AND A HECK OF AN ENGINEER! (laffs) ME AND MY WILDCAT BUDDIES WAS A-PULLIN REAL HARD FOR THEM JARJUH TECH TATTOOED UP ENGINEERS AND THEY COME THROUGH FOR US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS,
It’s Extremely Blue for Cat Fans When U of Smell Keeps Winning
THE BEASMAN u of smell still winning I AIN’T NO SWISHY BOY BUT THAT BRAD PITT FELLER LOOKED DELICIOUS ON THE OSCARS LAST NIGHT. (laffs) I TURNT IT ON CUZ THE TV GUIDE SAID OSCARS SHOW SO I FIGGERED IT WAS OSCAR COMBS TAWKIN ABOUT OUR BELOVED KENTUCKY WILDCATS. (laffs) BUT THAT BRAD PITT MAYBE OUGHT TO BE THE NEXT COACH OF THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS SO ALL THE LADIES WILL KEEP BUYIN OVERPRICED RUMP ARENER SEASON TICKETS TO WATCH OUR NOT-EVEN-IN-THE-TOP-16 CATS! DEAR GOD, WHY YOU GOTTA HAVE THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS JUST PLAYIN MEDIA-OCRE? LIFE AIN’T NO FUN WHEN U UH KAY AIN’T RANKED TOP 5 AND NICK DICKS RICHARDS AIN’T WORTHY OF BEIN A TOP TIN SINNER IN COLLEGE BASKETBAW!
Bad Dreams Beasman: are the Cats out of their nine lives?
THE BEASMAN u of smell happy times (cry) THIS HERE IS A NIGHTMARE TIME FOR US KENTUCKY WILDCATS! (cry) COACH CAL SUCKS AND U UH KAY ONLY GOT 8 SUPERSTARS AND WE CAINT BEAT SUCKY AUBURN! (cry) HOW COME WE DON’T GOT 15 MACK-DONNER ALL-AMERICOS? (cry) NOBODY TAWKIN UP BIG BLUE NATION BUT ERRBODY TAWKIN BOUT LAY-MAR JACKSON! (cry) I’M SICK OF HEARIN BOUT LAY-MAR IS THE GREATEST! (cry) We surprised Lamar Jackson with a special video right after he won MVP.His reaction is everything. @lj_era8 pic.twitter.com/VzeVLjBqcq— NFL (@NFL) February 2, 2020 AND THEN YOU GOT THE BALDY MACK WINNIN STREAK FOR U OF SMELL BASKETBAW AND U OF SMELL’S #1 FAN BILL MURRAY IN THE SUPER BO COMMERCIAL. HOW COME
Cats climb back into contention with Nick Dicks and Kissin’ Cal thrilling The Beasman
THE BEASMAN cats is back GUNS UP! Ls DOWN! GUNS UP! Ls DOWN! (laffs) OH LARRY, US TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS KNOW HOW TO MOCK OUR OPPONENTS WITH HAND JIVE! (laffs) DID YOU SEE HOW OUR GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT PLAYERS WAS MOCKIN THEM TEXAS TECH LOUDMOUTHS? WE TOOK THEIR “GUNS UP” HAND SIGN AND FLIPPED IT DOWN JUST LIKE WE DO TO U OF SMELL! SO NOW IT’S GUNS DOWN AND Ls DOWN! (laffs) I LOVE IT! THE CATS WON BIG ON THE ROAD SHOWIN THEM TEXAS COWBOYS THEY JUST A BUNCH OF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN GIRLS! (laffs) OUR KENTUCKY PLAYERS WAS A-MOCKIN THAT CROWD DOIN THE GUNS DOWN SIGN! (laffs) I LOVE IT! YOU CAINT GIT
Cardinals win at Duke, Cat fans unmoved, Beasman praying for March Madness rematch with U of L
THE BEASMAN Louisville beats duke SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH ABOUT EVERBODY LOVES SEEIN’ LOSERVILLE BEATIN’ DUKE. I’M PART OF EVERBODY AND I DON’T LIKE IT ONE BIT, DADGUMMIT! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! IF BOTH TEAM BUSSES FOR DUKE AND LOSERVILLE WENT OVER A CLIFF, KENTUCKY FANS WOULD REJOICE BY BURNIN’ COUCHES! Ls DOWN AND DUKIES DOWN! Y’ALL BOTH DEVILS WHO OUGHTA BE BURNT AT THE STAKE LIKE MY GRANNY’S COUCH! THE ONLY TIME ME AND ALL MY WILDCAT BUDDIES CELLER-MABRATE IS WHEN OUR SAINTLY KENTUCKY WILDCATS BEAT DUKE! TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS GIT SICK TO THEIR STOMACHS WHENEVER LOSERVILLE GITS GOOD NEWS. U UH KAY FANS ONLY CARE ABOUT U UH KAY! GO CATS! GO BLUE!
Cats stunned again, The Beasman wants Eddie Sutton and Kenny Sky Walker to take charge, and wants iHeart to fire Larry Minner for smirking
THE BEASMAN cats lose to south caramaliner HOW COME THEY DINT FIRE YOU WHEN THEY CLEANED HOUSE THE OTHER DAY? I JUST BOUT VOMITED WHEN I HEARED YOUR GUTLESS WEASEL VOICE ON THE WH&S TODAY. WHY IS Y’ALL LAUGHIN BOUT STUFF TODAY? THIS HERE IS A BONER-FIED BIG BLUE NATION TRAGEDY WE GOT GOIN ON AND Y’ALL ON THERE MAKIN JOKES! MOST KENTUCKY KIDS COULDN’T GO TO SCHOOL DAY CUZ OF DEE-PRESSION. DOCTORS IS HANDIN OUT FREE PROZAC. KENTUCKY IS A DEE-ZASTER ZONE…NO JOY NOWHERE! (cry) THIS IS MORE HORRIBLE-ER THAN LOSIN TO TENNERSEE LASS YEAR. (cry) GO AHEAD AND MOCK ME, YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, CROSS-EYED, U OF SMELL BOOTLICKIN HAS BEEN NOBODY! He. Called. Game. @The__Future11
The Beasman is feasting on U of Smell’s losing streak while the Cats soar
Started 2020 with a W in front of 20,396 Cats fans in @Rupp_Arena. You đź’™to see these highlights. pic.twitter.com/Ws21BDDvYo— Kentucky Basketball (@KentuckyMBB) January 4, 2020 THE BEASMAN loserville losing streak (chuckling) ZIPPITY DO DAH, ZIPPITY DAY. MY OH MY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! (laffs) LOSERVILLE GOTTA LONGER LOSIN STREAK THAN I-RANIAN GENERALS HANGIN ROUND AIRPORTS! (laffs) Y’ALL CAN’T EVEN BEAT AN EGG! (laffs) U OF SMELL SUCKS SO BAD THAT CHRIS MACK GOT A JOB OFFER FROM ROOMBA! (laffs) YOU GOTTA LAFF AT MY FUNNY COMEDY JOKES, LARRY MINNER, CUZ AIN’T NOTHIN ELSE FUNNY ON THIS PATHETIC RADIO SHOW. (laffs) HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TOP 25 PO? SOMETHIN BLUE IS ON THE RISE AND SOMETHIN RED IS JUST BOUT DEAD!
Cats lose first of three in Christmas Murderers Row – The Beasman is devastated with Loserville looming ahead.
THE BEASMAN uk loses to Utah (cry) CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED. (long cry) AIN’T NO T-T-T-TRUE BLUE K-K-K-KENTUCKY FAN WANNA CELLER-MA-BRATE THE BIRTH OF J-J-J-J-J-JESUS CUZ HE IGNORED OUR WILDCAT P-P-P-PRAYERS LAST NIGHT. (long cry) THE BIG B-B-B-B-BLUE IS NOW BEIN CALLED CAL’S QUITTERS. (long cry) CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED, DADGUMMIT! TAKE DOWN THE TREE. STOP SINGIN’ THEM FA LA LA LA LAAAAAs, AND TELL AMMER-ZON YOU WANT A REFUND ON ALL THE PRESENTS YOU BOUGHT FROM YOUR WILDCAT MAN CAVE! IT’S OVER, LARRY. COACH CAL GOTTA GO! DADGUMMIT, HE’S JUST ANOTHER SLICK-HAIRED, SMOOTH TAWKIN I-TALIAN FRAUD! WE NEED TO LET KINNY SKY WALKER BE THE HEAD COACH SO HE CAN TEACH THESE WIMPY WILDCATS HOW TO FIGHT, DADGUMMIT! WE LOST
#1 Cardinals validate their ranking with win over Michigan, The Beasman is getting skeered
Highlights from the Cards 58-43 victory over #4 Michigan.#GoCards pic.twitter.com/waLNa3ZjZq— Louisville Basketball (@LouisvilleMBB) December 4, 2019 THE BEASMAN cards win as #1 LARRY! LARRY! LARRY! I BEEN WANTIN’ TO VOMIT ALL DAY HAVIN’ TO HEAR ABOUT THEM NO COUNT, TWO BIT, WILDCAT WANNABE, PHONEY #1 U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS WHOOPIN’ MICH-ER-GAN! I SPENT ALL DAY YESTERDEE PRAYIN TO GOD, JESUS, ADOLPH RUPP, THE ELF ON THE SHELF, AND HOLY MACARONI THAT MICH-ER-GAN WOULD COME INTO THAT NASTY CHICKEN BUCKET AREN-ER AND KICK THE CARDINALS IN THEIR STOOPID FACES BUT…NAWWW. NOW WE GOT TO LISSEN ALL WEEK TO ALL THAT IGNERT CHIRPIN BOUT HOW LOSERVILLE IS SO GREAT AND HOW THEY DOMMERATED EVERBODY AND THEY AIN’T LOST TO NO EVANSVILLE AND ALL