--radio copy-- PATRICK ONEAL spent a night in the rowan county jail TERRENCE, YOU KNOW I DON’T KISS AND TELL BUT I MUST TELL YOU ABOUT A NIGHT OF INCREDIBLE LOVEMAKING I EXPERIENCED LAST NIGHT IN THE ROWAN COUNTY JAIL. DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? THIS IS PATRICK ONEAL, THE SQUARE JAWED HOLLYWOOD HUNK WHO SPEARS ALL OF THE HOT LADIES WHO CAN’T RESIST MY CELEBRITY CHARM. I AM A PLAYA, A LADY CONQUERER, A SUAVE AND DEBONAIR PLAYBOY WHOSE MOVIE CREDITS INCLUDE “FRANCES THE TALKING MULE INSEMINATES A KARDASHIAN.” DEAR BOY, I WAS DRIVING MY SISTER’S CAR EAST OF LEXINGTON ON MY WAY TO ASHLEY JUDD’S LOVE SHACK WHEN I LOST MY WAY AND BEGAN WEAVING