THE BEASMAN cats losing streak continues
(cry) THIS CAINT BE CHRISTMAS TIME…IT’S STILL HALLER-WEEN FOR KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS. (cry) I CAINT BLEEVE WE PAY COACH CAL 9 MILLION A YEAR TO GIVE US THIS DUMPSTER FIRE! WE JUST GOT BOOT STOMPED BY A WINLESS NOBODY JARJUH TECH NERD SCHOOL! (cry)

DADGUMMIT, WE IS BIG BLUE NATION! WE IS THE CATS! COACH CAL DONE MAILIN IT IN, LARRY! HE LOOKS LIKE A OLD HIPPIE FREAK WITH HIS LONG HAIR AND BEER BELLY.

AND SO OUR U UH KAY WILDCAT PLAYERS IS PROLLY SNIFFIN THE POT LIKE THEIR HIPPIE HEAD COACH! DADGUMMIT…THE WILDCAT TRAIN DONE RUN OFF THE TRACKS! THE CATS IS MAKIN MORE TURNOVERS THAN BETTY CROCKER. THAT BIG TRANSFER FELLER…OLIVER SARR…HE’S OLIVER SORRY! WE ALL THOUGHT WAS GONNA BE GREAT BUT HE’S SOFTER THAN THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GOOD OL DAYS WHEN KENTUCKY HAD ANTHONY DAVIS AND JOHN WALL? THESE GUYS WE GOT NOWADAYS DON’T UNNERSTAND THAT NAME KENTUCKY ACROST THEIR CHEST!

THEY GOT TO GIT TOUGH AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW. OUR NEXT GAME IS AGAINST THEM FISH BREATH CATHLICK ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN, BINGO PLAYIN, BEER DRINKIN, DIRTY DANCIN NOTRE DAME IRISH ALCOHOLICS. U UH KAY AIN’T HAD A FOUR GAME LOSIN STREAK SINCE ADOLPH RUPP HAD A HEART ATTACK AFTER SAMMY DAVIS JR. KISSED HIM ON THE MOUTH.

WE CAINT LET THESE NOTRE DAME CATHLICK PEDDER-FILE PRIEST FRAUDS HUMILLERFY KENTUCKY AGAIN! COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – COACH CAL PROLLY GONNA TAKE A DIVE FOR HIS FAKE CATHLICK GOD AND LET THE IRISH WIN. BUT SINCE HE’S MAKIN 9 MILLION A YEAR TO SUCK, HE AIN’T GONNA BE LIKE THE U OF SMELL FOOTBAW COACH AND SNEAK OFF TO SOUTH CARAMALINER. WE WON’T BE ABLE TO GIT COACH CAL OUTTA HERE WITH A CROWBAR AND A PACK OF HUNGRY PIT BULLS.

I SAY WE GIT MARK STOOPS TO FIRE COACH CAL LIKE HE DONE EDDIE GRAN AND LET STOOPS COACH THE BASKETBAW TEAM TIL CAL GITS HIS HEAD OUTTA HIS HIND END! WE IS KENTUCKY! BASKETBAW IS LIFE! IF U UH KAY GONNA BE A DOORMAT FOR NOBODIES LIKE JARJUH TECH AND RICHMOND THEN WE MIGHT ALL JUST EAT A CRONA-VIRUS SAMMICH AND DIE!

I DON’T WANNA GO ON LIVIN IF COACH CAL AND THE CATS IS GONNA LOSE TO LOSERVILLE! KILL ME NOW, GOD! AIN’T NO TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FAN WANNA LIVE TO SEE THEM SAGGY PANTS, GOLD TEETH, NECK TATTOO, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST U OF SMELL CARDINAL CONVICT FANS RIOTIN IN THE STREETS AFTER BEATIN U UH KAY.

VIOLENT LOSERVILLE THUGS IS LIABLE TO COME OVER TO LEXINUN AND SPRAYPAINT THE F-WORD ALL OVER CAMPUS AND KNOCK OVER OUR JESUS AND ADOLPH RUPP STATUES. WE AIN’T HAVIN IT, DADGUMMIT! WE NEED TO GIT OUR RIFLES AND GATHER IN COACH CAL’S FRONT YARD SO HE KNOWS HIS JOB IS ON THE LINE. LOSE ONE MORE AND YOU’S OUT THE DOOR, YOU LONG HAIR, SLICK-TAWKIN, I-TALIAN BUM! YOU DONE TURNT KENTUCKY INTO A ONE-AND-DONE BUS STOP TO THE NBA WHILE CAT FANS HAVE TO GIT PUNKED BY LITTLE BROTHER SCHOOLS.

BEAT THEM BABY MAKIN CATHLICKS ON SAIRDEE OR WE GONNA MOVE YOUR FURNITURE ACROSS THE STATE LINE AND GIT RICHIE FARMER TO COME BACK AND SAVE THE PROGRUM! ENOUGH OF THAT COACH CAL SLICK TAWK – NOW HE’S ON THE ONE-AND-DONE RADAR DADGUMMIT! GO CATS! GO BLUE!