THE BEASMAN cats crush cards (long laff) GO BIG BLUE! STOOPS TROOPS! LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR FOR HEISHMAN! CATS! CATS! CATS! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) THAT WEREN’T HEAVY RAIN FALLIN ALL DAY – THAT WAS CARDINAL TEARS POURIN DOWN! (laffs) LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR IS WAYYYYYY BETTER THAN LAY-MAR JACKSON, AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, MAN WEARIN EARRINGS U OF SMELL CARDINAL CRACKHEADS! LAYMAR JACKSON CAINT HOLD LYNN BOWIE’S JOCKSTRAP, DADGUMMIT! Live Now:@UKCoachStoops - Louisville Postgame Press Conference https://t.co/UhR0BFOSAV— Kentucky Football (@UKFootball) November 30, 2019 COACH STOOPS TODE ME THE BALTIMORE RAVENS CALLED TO AST IF LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR COULD COME START FOR THE RAVENS RIGHT NOW SO THEY COULD PUT LAY-MAR ON WAIVERS! IT’S TRUE! THE
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ONE AND NONE — The Beasman hopes the U of Smellers die two painful deaths this holiday weekend
THE BEASMAN two Cardinal deaths LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! (laffs) I HOPE SANTA CLAUS BRINGS YOU SOME BRAINS THIS YEAR! (laffs) EVERTHANG YOU SAY IS WRONG AND STUPID! (laffs) SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLE TAWKIN ABOUT U UH KAY NOT LIKIN DUKE LOSIN’ LAST NIGHT! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS LOVE WHEN DUKE LOSES, EVEN IF IT MEANS GOOD STUFF FOR LOSERVILLE. BIG BLUE NATION’S MOTTO IS: “DUKE IN PAIN IS U UH KAY’S GAIN!” (laffs) Nate Bain's game winner was everyone's favorite play from the @SFA_MBB win over No. 1 Duke, but we want to hear from you 'Jack Nation. What was your second favorite play! Vote now!👉 https://t.co/QuzhjhAKn8#RaiseTheAxe#AxeEm pic.twitter.com/rKsbPa1Ny6— SFA Athletics (@SFA_Athletics) November 27, 2019 POOR LITTLE DUKIES…CRYIN
Slowed audio of Papa John Schnatter captivates the Internet: “I’ve had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days”
The Papa John interview is lovely pic.twitter.com/bpDMDm9t9G— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) November 26, 2019 Louisville's beleaguered businessman "Papa" John Schnatter is still flailing at the ghosts of his previous life. Schnatter was famously removed from his chairman/CEO position at Papa John's International and has been forced to diminish his majority ownership position after a series of caustic verbal missteps. In 2012, Schnatter created a "clueless rich guy" backlash after he bemoaned the costs of providing employee health care. A few years later, Schnatter insulted NFL players who were kneeling during national anthem performances to protest police brutality. He lost his CEO position but remained chairman. The final and most explosive meltdown came after Schnatter said the N-word on a 2018 diversity training
Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife. But don’t hide yo news video.
Let’s go to Dayton & see how things are going at the Dollar General pic.twitter.com/IXvOjdFoB3— Busted Coverage (@bustedcoverage) October 11, 2019 Armed man robs frequently robbed Dayton, Ohio store. Clerk shoots robber. Robber got off at least one shot but the clerk was unhurt. Robber stumbles to the outside of the store, collapses, and dies. Karma, right? Witnesses say the robber did indeed point a gun at the clerk. Stand your ground. Self defense. Kill or be killed. That's how rational people interpret a scenario like this. As the above tweet illustrates, the siblings of the robber are somehow incensed that the clerk had a weapon and say the clerk should have called police and "let them handle it." WHIO-TV aired the interview
Internet mob rolling up on Charles Barkley after off-the-record comment agreement is violated by a political reporter
Just FYI Charles Barkley told me tonight “I don’t hit women but if I did I would hit you,” and then when I objected to that he told me I “couldn’t take a joke.”— Alexi McCammond (@alexi) November 20, 2019 On the record, a violation of off-the-record agreements extinguishes all trust of the deceitful reporter. Bad form. Bad judgment. It only ramps up cries of FAKE NEWS. If she wanted the story to get out, she could have used the method of lighting a spark and letting other reporters inquire of other present parties to validate the original "story." That's how that's done. It's a little thing we like to call verification. Practice it, pleas.
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Sheinelle Jones shares how she chose what to wear for her 1st day on TODAY https://t.co/EVCfwcPMmi— TODAY (@TODAYshow) November 19, 2019 TODAY SHOW DAILY FORMAT 2019 1) Orange Man Bad 2) WOKE perspectives on #MeToo and other Liberal causes 3) Craig Melvin is allowed to sit at the table 10 minutes into the show 4) Al Roker bemoans climate change 5) "Gurrrrrrrrrllllll! Where'd you get that amazing belt?"
DJ WOKE WOKE spoken edition – comedy is dead because WOKIES do not understand the need for exaggeration of the human condition
Humor is dead. Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld won't perform on college campuses anymore because of the tender sensibilities of Social Justice Warriors (SJW). Seen in the above video, comedian Judy Gold has it right. "Why is it everyone has to adjust to everyone else? Don't hire me if you don't want to hear what I have to say." Gold says "This idea that words are more harmful than actions...Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor is rolling over in his grave!" To the WOKIES, every joke is offensive unless it is aimed at straight white males (SWM) or straight males (SM) so that Rock, Kevin Hart, Eddie Murphy, and other offenders of color can be punished for marginalizing women and/or LGBTQ human he/she/they/x pronouns. DJ
The Beasman is sicker than Ariana Grande about UK’s horrible week
THE BEASMAN bo game projections SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLE, YOU CROSS-EYED, TWO BIT U OF SMELL CARDINAL BOOTLICKER! YOU MAKE ME SICK WITH ALL YOUR STUPID U OF SMELL CHIRPIN WHEN YOU KNOW DOWN IN YOUR HEART THAT U OF SMELL AIN’T POSED TO BE RANKED AHEAD OF U UH KAY. I HEARED ABOUT THAT PO AND IT MADE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH. 4-0#GoCards pic.twitter.com/kgboP4Dc1s— Louisville Basketball (@LouisvilleMBB) November 18, 2019 MY TWITTER STARTS BLOWIN UP WITH ALL KINDA SMACK TAWK FROM BEER BREATH, NECK TATTOO, CURSIN AROUND BABIES, GODLESS, SPINELESS, BRAINLESS CARDINAL FANS SQUAWKIN ABOUT HOW LOSERVILLE IS AHEAD OF U UH KAY IN THE PO. BIG WHOOPTY DOO. ALL YOU CARDINAL NITWITS SUDDENLY RUNNIN ROUND TAWKIN UP
When the kids don’t understand irony
The Kentucky Wildcats had a great 38-14 football win over the Vanderbilt Commodores in Nashville yesterday. Even though the calendar designated Veterans Day had just passed, the Vanderbilt athletic administration provided a beautiful series of events meant to honor America's veterans. There was cool ball presentation from the sky delivered by the U.S. Army Golden Knights. Your at home halftime entertainment. 🇺🇸Another angle from today's Army Golden Nights presentation. #RTI | #AnchorDown pic.twitter.com/J45vQvGC5e— Vanderbilt Football (@VandyFootball) November 16, 2019 There was also a reenlistment ceremony on the field. Fans enjoyed a fantastic Army helicopter fly by shown below via Tic Tok video. Some dummy unwittingly added the anti-war anthem "Fortunate Son" to the video, which "flies" in the face of anything related
Matt Jones knows where his bread is buttered, politics will have to wait
Happy for my broadcast brother @KySportsRadio 🎙 Matt is a quality human being who wants to improve our world. Nonetheless, I’m selfishly delighted to have him stay with @iHeartRadio. Our chat is linked below. 🙌🏾💯 https://t.co/VZpuNaOm9e— Terry Meiners (@terrymeiners) November 15, 2019 Radio/TV personality Matt Jones popped by my studio today to discuss his decision to stay out of the 2020 senate race. We also talked about the invaluable commitments of family and colleagues in making professional decisions. Eventually we talked about UK's topsy turvy football season and #1 Kentucky's embarrassing loss to mid-major Evansville in Rupp Arena. Everyone wins with the Matt Jones decision. There won't be a brutal and embarrassing political campaign against Semate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's