FOOTBAW IS BACK AND ALL THE SMART MONEY IS ON THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS. U UH KAY IS THE FLOYD MAYWEATHER OF FOOTBAW TEAMS. WE GONNA TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT BUT IN THE END THE REFFERMARIE GONNA STOP IT CUZ THE CATS IS BEATIN YOU UP TOO BAD! I TELL YOU, LARRY, STOOPS TROOPS IS GONNA SHOCK THE WORLD.
AND BIG BLUE NATION IS GONNA DOMMERATE THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS. BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! LOOK OUT, ALABAMMER. THESE HERE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GONNA JACK YOUR JAW! CATS! CATS! CATS! IT DON’T MATTER IF WE JUST LOST OUR #1 RECRUIT TO OHI-ER STATE. THAT RUM DUMMY WILL BE SORRY SOMEDAY WHEN HE GOTTA WATCH STOOPS TROOPS WIN IT ALL WHILE HIS FRAUD BUCKEYES FADE TO NOTHIN.
I AIN’T HIGH ON HEROIN, LARRY. I’M SERIOUS AS A HEART ATTACK, DADGUMMIT. THE DAYS OF U UH KAY BEIN EVERBODY ELSE’S DOORMAT IS OVER! LOOK OUT, SOUTHERN MISTERSIPPI. Y’ALL IS A BUNCH OF REBEL FLAG NEO NAZI STATUE WORSHIPPIN HATERS. BIG BLUE NATION DEMANDS Y’ALL TAKE DOWN YOUR BRETT FARVE STATUE OR WE WILL YANK IT DOWN AND SPIT ON IT. WE IS THE CATS, DADGUMMIT. THE YEAR OF THE CAT STARTS RIGHT NOW. WE GONNA WIN ALL OUR FOOTBAW GAMES AND ALL OF OUR BORING SOCCER GAMES. AND THEN COACH CAL GONNA RUN THE TABLE AGAIN TO MAKE THIS THE MOST GREATEST BESTEST YEAR EVER IN U UH KAY HISTREE!
AND AT THE SAME TIME WE GIT TO WATCH THE SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, EAR GUAGE, NECK TATTOO, FISH HOOK THOUGH YOUR NOSE CARDINAL CRYBABY FANS GO THROUGH THE DEATH PENALTY! DEEEEEEEAAAAAAATH PENALTY! TAKE DOWN THAT FAKE NEWS CHAMPERCHIPS BANNER! TAKE IT DOWN! TAKE IT DOWN! GO BIG BLUE! I LOVE IT! ALL THAT FIGHTIN GOIN ON BETWIXT THE U OF SMELL DUMMY PRESIDENT AND TOMMY TURTLENECK WHO REFUSES TO FIRE SLICK RICK. IT’S ALL HI-LARIOUS! AND YOU MAKE ME SICK WITH ALL YOUR LOUDMOUTH U OF SMELL TAWK, LARRY. HERE YOU IS TRYIN TO ACT LIKE AIN’T NOTHIN WRONG IN YOUR FILTHY GHETTO TOWN BUT YOU KNOW THE WALLS IS CAVIN IN ON Y’ALL.
THE NC2A COMIN TO TOWN WITH A BIG LADDER AND A SKY HOOK TO TAKE THAT BANNER DOWN AND THROW IT IN THE RIVER WITH MOHAMMAD ALI’S OLYMPIC MEDAL! IT’S ALL A FRAUD, JUST LIKE YOU, LARRY. STOP TRYIN TO ACT LIKE YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK AIN’T GONNA GIT FIRED! STICK A FARK IN HIM, LARRY! THAT GRIZZLY BEAR GRISSOM SAYS SLICK GOT TO GO AND AIN’T NO FARDY FOUR MILLION DOLLAR BUYOUT GONNA STOP HIM. U OF SMELL CAN TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK THEY WILL PAY HIS 44 MILLION DOLLARS BY GIVIN HIM ONE DOLLAR A YEAR FOR THE NEXT 44 MILLION YEARS! I LOVE IT!
DON’T LET THE SCREEN DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT, YOU TRAITOR TURNCOAT. AND IF U OF SMELL WOULDA BEEN SMART ENOUGH TO GIT THAT SCREEN DOOR FIXED THEN KU-TREENER PYLE ALL HER SKANKS WOULDN’T A BEEN ABLE TO SNEAK INTO THAT DARM IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT’S ALL OVER NOW, LARRY!
YOU AND SLICK NEED TO MOVE TO BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AND, SINCE HE’S SUCH A BIGTIME BUILDER, TOMMY TURTLENECK CAN MOVE TO HOUSTON TO HELP THEM BUILD A WHOLE NEW CAMPUS THAT GOT WARSHED AWAY IN THE FLOOD. US CAT FANS AIN’T GONNA MISS NEITHER ONE OF THEM U OF SMELL CRIMINALS. I HOPE YOU’S RIGHT AND ALL THE OTHER COACHES WILL LEAVE AND U OF SMELL WON’T HAVE NOBODY LEFT BUT THE HEALTH TEACHER TO COACH ALL THE DIVISION III TALENT YOU GOT LEFT. LET THE WATERBOYS AND CHEERLEADERS BE YOUR NEW BASKETBAW AND FOOTBAW PLAYERS. WON’T MATTER. Y’ALL IS LIKE JAY LENO. YOU USED TO BE SOMEBODY BUT NOW AIN’T NOBODY CARES. BYE BYE, CARDINAL CRIMINALS! IT’S THE YEAR OF THE CAT! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN!