Coach Cal and Rick Pitino: crying on the yachts

With perpetual local interest in basketball, media outlets have found an off season storyline. The head basketball coaches at UK and U of L are in a war of words. Last week, Kentucky’s John Calipari launched a not-very-subtle slam at Louisville’s Rick Pitino, saying that coaches know about scandalous behavior when it happens on campus.

Louisville is stewing in a sex scandal related to prostitutes brought into its basketball dorm. The NCAA is expected to make its final ruling soon.

Calipari’s notorious vacated Final Fours at UMass and Memphis were rooted in off-campus misdeeds by players.

After Calipari’s radio rant last week with Mike Lupica, Pitino returned fire this week on my radio show.

AUDIO:

Pitino also commented on Governor Matt Bevin’s dismissal of U of L‘s board of trustees and president, but the public scarfs up the personal sniping between the rival coaches.

Noting Calipari’s famously borrowed phrase: “There’s no crying on the yacht.” Play on, playas.

My radio character The Beasman was not moved by Pitino’s rebuttal.

THE BEASMAN pitino slams calipari – air date 06/21/16

YOU MAKE ME SICK, LARRY MINNER, WITH ALL YOUR WILDCAT BASHIN ON THE LECTRIC RADIO. YOU AND YOUR SINFUL BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK BUTEENO WAS ON THE RADIO ATTACKING COACH CAL, A GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT COACH WHO GOES TO MASS EVER DAY.

YOU AND SLICK RICK JUST CAINT BUCEPT THE TRUTH THAT COACH CAL WAS TELLING, ABOUT HOW COACHES KNOW IF SCANDALS IS GOIN ON RIGHT UNDER THEIR NOSE. SLICK RICK KNOWED THERE WAS TRAMPS DANCIN ON THE STRIPPER POLE. HE JUST IGNORED IT BECAUSE HE WAS TRYIN TO GIT SOME 5-STAR RECRUITS BY GIVING THEM NEKKED DANCERS AND S-E-X. BUT Y’ALL DINT GIT NO GOOD RECRUITS. U OF SMELL CHEATED AND STILL WOUNT UP WITH SCRUB PLAYERS.

Only 2:26 into the game, John Calipari is ejected from his UK team's battle with South Carolina. UK went on to crush the Gamecocks. — Only 2:26 into the game, John Calipari is ejected from his UK team’s battle with South Carolina. UK went on to crush the Gamecocks.

FACE IT, LARRY. SLICK RICK IS A HAS BEEN NOBODY AND THE SAINTED COACH CAL IS THE #1 RECRUITER IN THE WORLD. THAT PROVES THAT GOD IS A WILDCAT FAN. HE SENT US COACH CAL TO CLEAN UP THE SCANDALOUS WAYS OF EDDIE SUTTON, SLICK RICK, AND TUBBY. AND LOOK AT THEM GUYS TODAY. THE LARD SENT ALL THEM OFF TO OBSCURITY IN NOBODYLAND WHILE COACH CAL, WHO GOES TO MASS EVER DAY, GITS ALL THE BEST RECRUITS BECAUSE GOD WANTS HIM TO.

This meme also blazed onto UK fan sites only hours after the story went public

SO YOU AND YOUR BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK CAN GIT ON THE RADIO EVER DAY AND WHINE ABOUT COACH CAL TELLIN IT LIKE IT IS BUT IT AINT GONNA CHANGE THE FACT THAT Y’ALL IS LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES. U UH KAY IS ALWAYS GONNA BE YOUR MASTER AND ALL WE DO IS WIN, WIN, WIN! YEAH! AND COACH CAL DON’T GOTTA GIT ON YOUR PUNY RADIO SHOW TO BRAG.

HE’S GOIN NATIONWIDE ON EXPN TOMORRY TO LET AMERICA SEE HOW HE GITS ALL HIS #1 RECRUITS WITH HONOR, NOT NO STRIPPERS AND PROSTERTUTES. THEM EXPN GU-NOUNCERS IS GONNA TELL COACH CAL HOW GREAT HE IS AND BASH U OF SMELL FOR BEIN WILDCAT WANNABES. FACE IT, LARRY, YOU AND SLICK RICK LEFT THE ROMAN EMPIRE OF COLLEGE BASKETBAW AND NOW ALL Y’ALL GOT IS DUSTY OLD TROPHIES AND A SKANKY STRIPPER PO.

YOUR FUTURE IS SO DARK YOU SHOULD RENAME YOUR TEAM MASCOT “MIDNIGHT.” MAMA ALWAYS SAID “AIN’T NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS AFTER MIDNIGHT.” MAMA WAS RIGHT CUZ THAT’S WHEN ALL THE U OF SMELL SCANDALS HAPPEN.

COACH CAL KNOWS EVERTHANG THAT GOES ON HIS BIG BLUE CAMPUS. WILDCAT PLAYERS DON’T NEVER DO NOTHIN WRONG AND IF SOMEBODY REPORTS THAT, THEN THEY IS LIARS WHO IS OUT TO GIT COACH CAL. BUT IF YOU HEAR SOMETHING NASTY ABOUT U OF SMELL, IT’S TOTALLY TRUE. SO JUST KEEP UP WITH YOUR LIES, LIES, LIES, LARRY. MEANTIME COACH CAL JUST GONNA WIN, WIN, WIN! I HOPE THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF U OF SMELL IS HUGH HEFNER AND THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES IS THE KARDASHIANS. THATAWAYS Y’ALL CAN JUST BE HONEST ABOUT THE SCUMBAGS Y’ALL IS.

COACH CAL IS PROBLEE AT MASS RIGHT NOW PRAYIN FOR YOUR SINFUL SOULS, CARDINAL FANS. EVERTHANG AT U UH KAY IS GOOD AND CLASSY AND U OF SMELL IS STILL THE DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND. AND BY THE WAY, DON’T GO MOVING THAT CONFEDERATE STATUE OUT IN FRONT OF U OF SMELL CUZ IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT STRIPPER POLE.

IT’S A PERFECT FIT FOR U OF SMELL’S SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, MAN WEARING EARRINGS, FOOD STAMP CASHIN, GRAMPA PUNCHIN, MUHAMMAD ALI MUSLIM WORSHIPPIN, CRYBABY, SNAGGLE TOOTH, G.E.D. FLUNKIN, GUN TOTIN, BIBLE BURNIN, SATAN LOVIN, CARDINAL NOBODY CHEATERS. MIND YOUR OWN BIDNIZ, SLICK RICK. IT’S SO SKANKY, AIN’T NOBODY CAN COME ON CAMPUS UNLESS THEY’S WEARING A HAZMAT SUIT! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! CATS! CATS! CATS! YOU’RE GAY, LARRY!