THE BEASMAN terry show opener
(sing) IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEEEEEEAAAAAAR! ‘OL LOSERVILLE’S LOSIN, THEY TOOK A REAL BRUISIN, NOW CAT FANS ARE CRUISIN…IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEEEEEAAAAARRRR!” (laffs) Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! SANTA IS COMIN DOWN THE CHIM-LEE AND Ls IS GOIN DOWN THE PO! (laffs)

We agree, @JayBilas!

🔴#4To1 | #WreckEm⚫️ pic.twitter.com/EzuwsSCSA4

— Texas Tech Basketball (@TexasTechMBB) December 11, 2019

OH LARRY…LAST NIGHT WAS THE BEST TV CHRISTMAS SPECIAL EVER! WATCHIN BALDY MACK AND HIS SUPPOSE-UB-LEE #1 CARDINALS LOOK LIKE GARBAGE ON NATIONAL TV! MERRRRRRRR-EEEEEEEE CHRISTMAS, CAT FANS! (laffs and switch to singing) “I’M DREAMIN OF A BLUE AND WHITE CHRISTMAS…JUST LIKE THE WILDCATS USED TO KNOW!” (laffs)

POOR SAD LOSERVILLE. OL EBENEEZER SCROOGE TEXAS TECH JUST SMASHED YOUR CARDINAL DREAMS AND NOW IT’S A SAD LOSERVILLE CHRISTMAS…THANK YOU, JESUS! (laffs) I’LL LET YOU LICK YOUR WOUNDS LARRY AND CALL YOU BACK IN AWHILE. COACH CAL INVITED ALL US FRIENDS OF THE WILDCAT PROGRUM OVER FOR FILM SESSION WITH THE TEAM! WE GONNA WATCH LOSERVILLE GIT BEAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER! BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIE EVER! (sing) THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEEEEEEAAAAAARRRR!” Ls DOWN, YOU BUNCH OF FAKE NEWS FRAUDS!

AND LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR JUST WON THE PAUL HORNY AWARD, TOO! (laffs) NOW IT FEELS ALL HOLLY JOLLY, DADGUMMIT! GO BLUE! GO CATS! WHO’S NOT #1 NO MORE! LOSERVILLE, THAT’S WHO TO ALL YOU WHOs DOWN IN LOSE-VILLE! (laffs) C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

THE BEASMAN louisville goes down
(laffs) OVER-RATED! (laffs) OVER-RATED! (laffs) OVER-RATED! (laffs) OH LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! (laffs) I STAYED UP WAY PAST MY BEDTIME CLAPPIN’ AND CHEERIN’ AND THROWIN’ THEM Ls DOWN ALL NIGHT TO MY DOG AND MY CAT AND MY GOLDFISH! (laffs) THEY WAS ALL A-CHUCKLIN KNOWIN THAT THEM SNAGGLE TOOTH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO OVER-RATED U OF SMELL CARDINAL FRAUDS WAS FINE-LEE GITTIN BUXPOSED FOR BEIN THE FRAUDS Y’ALL IS. I LOVE IT! (laffs)

OVER-RATED! (laffs) OVER-RATED! (laffs) Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs) TAKE THAT #1 OFF THE SCREEN NEXT TO YOUR SINFUL NAME. Y’ALL IS BACK TO BEIN’ THE #1 RUM DUMMY STRIPPER PO FAKE BANNER CARDINAL JOKE OF AMERICA! (laffs) COACH CAL AND THE CATS IS THE TRUE #1 BUT WE IS SMART ENOUGH TO STAY BACK IN THE WEEDS A LITTLE BIT SO THAT WE AIN’T GOT THAT FOR REAL #1 TIL THE FINAL FOUR IS HERE! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs)

WE GOT US A BRAND NEW GOVERNOR IN KENTUCKY, AND WE GOT BIG BLUE NATION BACK AHEAD OF THE CARDINAL FRAUDS, JUST THE WAY GOD INTENDED! NOW ALL US WILDCAT FANS CAN HAVE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS! JESUS IS BORN AND U OF SMELL IS DEAD! (laffs) AWWWW, THAT WAS FUN WATCHIN’ THAT GAME LAST NIGHT CUZ LOSERVILLE WEREN’T NEVER IN IT! Y’ALL WAS THROWIN UP BRICKS LIKE HABITAT FOR HUMAN-I-TOUS! (laffs)

I BETCHA SLICK RICK WAS TURNIN CARTWHEELS OVER THERE IN GREECE CUZ HE DON’T WANT NO LOSERVILLE BEIN #1 IF HE AIN’T THE COACH NO MORE! (laffs) SLICK RICK LAFFS LIKE US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS ALL NIGHT LONG. I COULD HEAR BANJOS PLAYIN ALL THROUGH THE HOLLER LAST NIGHT AS CAT FANS COME OUT TO CELLER-MA-BRATE LOSERVILLE GOIN DOWN IN FLAMES! (laffs) Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs) NOW ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CAN GO ABOUT OUR CHRISTMAS BIDNIZ WITH A POP IN OUR STEP! LOSERVILLE LOST! LOSERVILLE LOST! LOSERVILLE LOST! (laffs) THAT’S MORE FUN TO SAY THAN FA LA LA LA LAAA, LA LA LA LAAAA. (laffs)

PLUS, OUR U UH KAY QUARTERBACK DONE WON THE PAUL HORNY AWARD CUZ HE’S JUST LIKE PAUL HORNY! VERSE-UH-TILLY-US ON THE FIELD! (laffs) SO NOW WE NEED SOME TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS TO RUN UP TO NEW YARK AND SHOUT “GO BIG BLUE” UNTIL THEM HEISHMAN TROPHY PEOPLE PICK LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR THIS SAIRDEE! I HEAR TELL THEY GONNA PICK THAT BUCKET HEAD WHITE BOY FROM L.S.U.

“This is a new era of football. He’s a role model on and off the field. Kids of all color want to be like Lamar. To me, Lamar is already validated."

Q&A with @MichaelVick as @Lj_era8 is poised to break his record.

📰: https://t.co/wuKOVnv1uq pic.twitter.com/xGL13Rfhzs

— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) December 11, 2019

DADGUMMIT, HE CAINT RUN LIKE LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR! WAKE UP, HEISHMAN SUCKERS! U UH KAY GOT THE REAL HEISHMAN TROPHY HERO, MR LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR, THE PAUL HORNY AWARD WINNER WHO JUST GU-NOUNCED THAT HE’S GOIN PRO AFTER THE BO GAME. ALL 32 NFL TEAMS IS FIGHTIN OVER HIM BUT I HOPE BALTIMORE PICKS HIM AND THAT MEANS LAY-MAR JACKSON WILL BE OUT OF A JOB! (laffs) GO BIG BLUE! WIN THAT HEISHMAN TROPHY AND TAKE LAYMAR’S JOB! LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR BOUT TO DO ALL THAT SO THAT U UH KAY IS YOUR CARDINAL DOMMERATOR FOREVER! (laffs)

Y’ALL CROSS EYED CARDINAL CRYBABIES IS ALWAYS ACCUSIN US CAT FANS OF BEIN OBSESSED WITH U OF SMELL CUZ WE THROW Ls DOWN ALL THE TIME! FOR ONCE…YOU’RE RIGHT! WE ARE OBSESSED WITH YOU LOSIN! YOUR CARDINAL TEARS ARE DEE-LICIOUS! (laffs) GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! DOWN GOES LOSERVILLE AND THERE IS JOY ALLLLLLL ACROSS KENTUCKY! (sing) IT’S THE MOST WUNNERFUL TIME OF THE YEEEEEEAAAARRR