THE BEASMAN slick dumps larry
HEY LAREEEE! LARRY DADGUM MINNER! (laffs) I CAN’T BLEEVE YOU AIN’T CHECKED INTO OUR LADY UH PEACE FOR MENTAL ILLNESS. YOU GOT TO BE DOWNRIGHT DEE-PRESSED OVER ALL KINDA THANGS. THROW THEM STUPID Ls UP, YOU LOSERS! L STANDS FOR LOSER! L STANDS FOR LOSER! (laffs) YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS GOT BLASTED OUT OF THE STADIUM AGAINST BIGTIME S.E.C. FOOTBAW. OL NICK SABAN KICKED YOUR CARDINAL BEAKS SO HARD YOU CAIN’T EVEN WHISTLE DIXIE! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS SHOWED THEY IS ANOTHER S.E.C. PIRE BY TROUNCIN MICHERGAN LASS SAIRDEE, AND NOW WE GONNA WHOOP US SOME FLOR-I-DER GATORS.

CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP DOWN ON THAT STREAK CUZ IT’S OVER! THE STREAK IS DEAD, JUST LIKE U OF SMELL SPARTS! (laffs) IT’S SO FUN BEIN A KENTUCKY WILDCAT RIGHT NOW CUZ THE CATS IS COOL AND CARDS IS STOOL. (laffs) YOU THUNK I WAS GONNA SAY DROOL, RIGHT? (laffs)

POOR LARRY. I SHOULDN’T BE POKIN YOU WITH A STICK CUZ YOU IS DEE-PRESSED RIGHT NOW. (laffs) BUT I CAINT HELP IT! EVERBODY TAWKIN ABOUT HOW YOU AND SLICK RICK BUTEENER MUSTA BROKE UP. POOR OL WARSHED UP SLICK RICK IS GOIN ON EVERBODY’S SHOW TO PROMOTE HIS SAD LITTLE BOOK ABOUT HOW HE USED TO BE GREAT.

I HEARED SLICK RICK ON THE RADIO WITH TONY CRUISE. I HEARED SLICK RICK ON THE RADIO WITH RAMSEY AND RUSH LIMBO! I HEARED SLICK RICK ON THE LELO CONWAY SHOW WHERE MATT BEVIN CALLED SLICK A SAD, PATHETIC CRAZY NUTBALL HAS BEEN NOBODY CHEATER. (laffs) AND SLICK RICK WAS ON THE HOP-HIP STATION TAWKIN WITH THEM SAGGY PANTS DEEJAYS AND THEN SLICK RICK WAS ON THE COUNTRY STATION TAWKIN WITH THE STINKY BOOTS MORNING SHOW. AND SLICK RICK WAS ON THE OLDIES STATION TAWKIN TO GRAVEYARD GARY.

BUT THERE IS ONE LECTRIC RADIO SHOW WHERE SLICK RICK DINT CALL INTO…THE BALD HAIRED, TRAITOR TURNCOAT LARRY MINNER RADIO SHOW! (laffs) SLICK RICK BUTEENER AND LARRY MINNER MUSTA GOT A DEE-VORCE CUZ SLICK RICK USED TO ALWAYS TAWK TO LARRY FIRST. WHERE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND, LARRY? DID HE THROW YOUR BELONGINGS OFF OF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? DID YOU TWO LOVER BOYS CALL IT QUITS FOR GOOD THIS TIME, OR IS HE JUST DATING OTHER BALD DEEJAYS TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS? (laffs)

OH BOO HOO HOO! LARRY & SLICK DONE GONE TO THE HEARTBREAK HOTEL BUT THEY IS STAYIN IN SEPARATE ROOMS! WELL LARRY, FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, DO THE SMART THING. FALL BACK IN LOVE WITH U UH KAY! YOU WENT TO SCHOOL IN LEXINUN AND SO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A WILDCAT! YOU WALK AROUND SMILING ALL THE TIME TAWKIN ABOUT THE CATS VICTREES AND THEN YOU CHUCKLE ABOUT THE LATEST LOSERVILLE FAILURE! COME ON BACK, LARRY. I’LL PUT A GOOD WORD IN WITH COACH CAL AND MAYBE WE CAN FIND YOU A SEAT IN THE NOSEBLEED SECTION UP THERE NEXT TO TOM PAYNE AND RICHIE FARMER. (laffs)

COME ON HOME, LARRY. WE WON’T MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR TOO LONG. WELL…MAYBE WE WILL! YOU KNOW US CAT FANS, ALWAYS BUB-SESSIN’ ON U OF SMELL SO YOU GONNA HEAR SOME FUNNY COMEDY JOKES. MOVE TO LEXINUN AND MATT JONES WILL GIVE YOU A MINIMAL WAGE JOB MOPPIN UP VOMIT AT HIS U UH KAY BAR & GRILLE! COME ON, LARRY. QUIT CRYIN ABOUT SLICK RICK SCREWIN YOU AND THEN TURNIN ON YOU. JUST BE THANKFUL HE DINT LEAVE YOU CRYIN AND HUMILERATED IN A RESTRUNT BOOTH! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! YOU’S GOIN DOWN, FLORIDER! DRAIN THAT SWAMP! DRAIN THAT SWAMP! AND THEN YOU CAN FILL THE SWAMP WITH THOUSANDS OF SLICK RICK’S UNSOLD BOOKS! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!