THE BEASMAN florida curse continues
(crying) LARRY…I CAINT TAKE IT NO MORE. STOP TAWKIN BOUT THAT GOLFER FROM LOSERVILLE AND TAWK ABOUT WHAT WE GONNA DO NOW WITH U UH KAY! (crying) I’M SO TORE UP. (crying) THE FLORIDER JINX IS CRUSHIN MY WILDCAT HEART. (crying) LITTLE WILDCAT KIDS COULDN’T GO TO SCHOOL TODAY CUZ THEY’S DEE-PRESSED. THEIR WILDCAT MOMMIES AND DADDIES STAYED HOME DRINKIN, CRYIN, AND CUSSIN THEM REFFERMARIES. (crying) IT AIN’T F-F-F-FUNNY WHEN U UH KAY LOSES.
IT’S ONLY FUNNY WHEN U OF SMELL IS A F-F-F-F-FAILURE. (crying) I THUNK FOR SURE WHEN THE CATS WAS UP 27-14 THAT THE 30-YEAR JINX WAS OVER. WE WAS HIGH-FIVIN AND LAUGHIN AND TAWKIN BOUT HOW U OF SMELL SUCKS AND HOW KENTUCKY IS GOODER THAN ALABAMMER AND EVERBODY ELSE. (crying) US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS TURNT TOWARD THE FLORIDER SECTION TO GIVE GATOR CHOMP HUMILERATION TO THEIR FANS. WE WAS SHOUTIN “LOOOOOOOSER!” AT ALL THEM FLORIDER PEOPLE.
“YOU SUCK, YOU BUNCH OF TRUMP LOVIN, BEACH BUM, HURRICANE TRASH NOBODIES. GO ON HOME TO YOUR FLOODED BASEMENTS. WE IS THE CATS!” AND SUDDENLY WE ALL LOOK UP AND SOME FLORIDER CHEATER GOES OUT FOR PASS WITHOUT NO WILDCAT TO GUARD HIM. (crying) TOUCHDOWN…FOR THE SECOND TIME! (hard crying) MY WILDCATS DONE GOT PUNKED AGAIN BY THEM COCONUT HEAD FLORIDER CHEATERS, DAGUMMIT. (crying) YOU POSED TO LET THE OTHER TEAM KNOW YOU IS STANDING THERE UNGUARDED.
IT’S THE LAW! IT’S SO DISHONEST TO SNEAK OUT THERE ALONE AND STAY QUIET. THAT’S CHEATIN IF YOU ASK ME. (crying) QUIT THAT SMIRKIN, LARRY MINNER. STOP SMIRKIN ABOUT U UH KAY GITTIN JOBBED BY THE REFFERMARIES AGAIN. YOU KNOW THEM NO COUNT, CROSS-EYED, CROOKED REFERMARIES WAS GITTIN PAID OFF TO CALL HODING ON U UH KAY ON THAT LAST PLAY. (crying) WE WAS GONNA KICK THAT FIELD GOAL AFTER BENNY GOT US DOWN TO THE 25 YARD LINE BUT THEM CHEATIN REFFERMARIES CALLED IT BACK AND THEN WE HAD TO KICK A 99 YARD FIELD GOAL. HORRIBLE!
(crying) I DON’T THINK I BLEEVE IN GOD NO MORE, LARRY. ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WAS PRAYIN IN THE FOURTH QUARTER: “PLEASE GOD, LET OUR CATS WIN FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 19&55 AND WE PROMISE WE’LL GO TO CHURCH EVER DAY JUST LIKE COACH CAL!” BUT GOD DINT LISSEN. HE LET FLORIDER WIN AND THEY MOCKED US WITH THEIR GATOR CHOMPS ALL THE WAY OUT TO THE PARKIN LOT. YOU KNOW WHAT? COACH CAL NEVER WINS NO NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS BUT HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY. I THINK GOD IS AGIN THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS! MAYBE US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS NEED TO TAKE A KNEE DURING THE OPENING PRAYER! (crying)
BUT EVEN IN OUR MISERY, US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CAN STILL SOMETHIN TO SMILE ABOUT. U OF SMELL IS STILL GITTIN THE DEATH PENALTY! LET’S CELERMABRATE THE NC2A TELLIN THEM SKANKY GRAMMAW STRIPPER LOVIN U OF SMELLERS TO TAKE THAT BANNER DOWN! IT’S FAKE NEWS! TAKE IT DOWN! TAKE IT DOWN! LET’S HAVE US A BIG BLUE PEPPER RALLY IN FRONT OF THE DEADBEAT YUM YUM ARENER WHEN THE NC2A BRINGS THAT LADDER TRUCK IN THERE TO YANK DOWN THAT LYIN BANNER!
IT NEVER HAPPENED! HOORAY CATS! U UH KAY IS THE LAST KENTUCKY TEAM TO WIN IT ALL, NOT NO SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, MAN WEARIN EARRINGS, STINKBREATH, FOULMOUTH, GRAMMAW STRIPPER, CHILD ABUSE, HEROIN NEEDLE, GANG BANG DRIVE BY SHOOTERS, BACKWARDS CAP, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, HAIRY GIRL ARMPIT, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST, BRAINLESS, G.E.D. FLUNKIN THUG U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS. SO WE GOT THAT GOIN FOR US, WHICH IS NICE! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH!