THE BEASMAN rofl scandals 12/11/15
HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! WHAT KIND OF SCANDAL IS U OF SMELL DENYING TODAY? (laffs) “HEY DON’T WORRY ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO GIVE MONEY TO U OF SMELL….THE FBI INVESTERGATES ALL SCHOOLS…NOTHING TO SEE HERE…KEEP SENDING IN YOUR CHECKS.”

YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, IDIOT U OF SMELL FANS IS REAPING WHAT YOU SOW WHEN YOU HIRE SCALAWAGS LIKE SLICK RICK, TOMMY TURTLENECK, AND BOBBY PETRINO.

THEY IS PAYIN THEIRSELFS MILLIONS WITH YOUR DONATIONS AND THEN HIRING CRIMINALS FOR STEALING MORE MONEY OR BUYING PROSTERTUTES OR HAVING AFFAIRS WITH SOME SKANK. U OF SMELL IS A SOAP OPRY, CALL IT “ALL MY SCANDALS,” AND Y’ALL COULD USE SOME SOAP TO DISINFECT THAT HERPES-INFESTED DUMP YOU CALL THE UNIVERSITY OF LOSERVILLE.

LARRY, YOU KNOW I HATE ME SOME HOOSIERS BUT DAN DAKICH IS MY NEW HERO. DADGUMMIT, BOBBY KNIGHT’S 1980s FLOOR GENERAL DONE STEPPED UP NOW AS ONE OF THE BEST BROADCASTERGATERS IN AMERICA FOR EXPN. (laffs) WHEN HE WAS CALLIN THE U OF SMELL GAME AGAINST MICHERGAN STATE, HE KEPT TAWKIN ABOUT SLICK RICK AND ANDRE MCGEE’S PROSTERTUTES AND STRIPPERS AND HOW SLICK RICK SHOULD BE FIRED AND EXPN KEPT SHOWIN PITCHERS OF THE STRIPPERS ON THE SCREEN LIKE THEY WAS U OF SMELL’S STARTING FIVE. I LOVED IT.

U OF SMELL MANAGEMENT WAS HOLLERING AT DAN DAKICH AT HALFTIME BUT THAT DINT MATTER. HE WENT BACK ON THE TV AND JUST KEPT ON TAWKIN ABOUT LOSERVILLE AS SCANDAL U. BUT THEN YESTERDEE WHEN THE MEDIA TRIED TO TAWK TO U OF SMELL’S SOMBRERO-WEARIN PRESIDENT, HE RAN AWAY FROM THE CAMERAS LIKE HE STOLE SOMETHING.

SO THEY SENT OUT THEIR OWN VERSION OF BAGHDAD BOB, A PROFESSIONAL LIAR TO STAND THERE AND TELL THE MEDIA TO FOCUS ON ALL THE GOOD THINGS GOIN ON AT U OF SMELL. HE SAID “DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO THE FBI INVESTERGATIONS GOIN ON, OR ANY OF THOSE HIGH RANKIN SCHOOL OFFICIALS STEALIN MONEY, OR LOSING LAWSUITS FOR SEX DISCRIMERATION, OR COACHES HAVING AFFAIRS, OR PROSTERTUTES AND STRIPPERS DANCIN IN OUR TEENAGER’S COLLEGE DORMS. WE IS U OF SMELL, WHERE INTEGRITY GOES TO DIE!”

LARRY, THAT SHOULD BE Y’ALLS NEW SLOGAN… ”LOSERVILLE, COME GIT YOU A DIPLOMA TO BE THIEVES, RACISTS, LIARS & WHORES.” OR “U OF SMELL – WHERE INTEGRITY GOES TO DIE! L1C4, LIARS FIRST, CRIMINALS FOREVER!” COME ON, LARRY. WHY AIN’T YOU LAUGHING? THESE HERE IS FUNNY COMEDY JOKES.

DID YOU AND SLICK RICK BREAK UP? MY SPY TODE ME YOU WEREN’T INVITED TO SLICK RICK’S CHRIMMUS PARTY THIS YEAR BECAUSE YOUR RADIO INNERVIEW WHERE YOU ASKED HIM IF HE WAS THINKIN ABOUT RESIGNING. LARRY, KISS AND MAKE UP WITH SLICK RICK. WE NEED YOU SUCKIN UP TO THE CARDINAL MACHINE SO US CAT FANS CAN MAKE FUN OF YOU TWO TRAITOR TURNCOAT LOVEBIRDS. YOU SHOULD BE TELLIN SLICK RICK TO JUST HANG IN THERE. ALL US GOOD CLASSY KENTUCKY FANS WANT HIM TO STAY AT LOSERVILLE SO COACH CAL IS GUARANTEED TO KEEP BEATIN THE CARDINALS EVER YEAR. L1C7 – LOSERVILLE ONE, CALIPARI 7…AND SOON TO BE 8.

COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY INSTEAD OF RUNNIN AROUND WITH SKANKS – COACH CAL AIN’T NO WHINY CRYBABY LIKE SLICK RICK. COACH CAL TOOK THAT UCLA LOSS AND TODE THE WILDCATS IF THEY EVER PLAYED LIKE THAT AGAIN HE WOULD THROW ‘EM OFF A CLIFF. AND SO THEY WENT OUT THERE AND PULVERIZED EASTERN KENTUCKY. SLICK RICK’S TEAMS AIN’T BEAT NOBODY GOOD AND YOU KNOW YOU GONNA GIT BURIED IN RUMP ARENER IN TWO WEEKS. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOUR DELICIOUS CARDINAL TEARS, YOU BUNCH OF RED SWEATER, SNAGGLE TOOTH, G.E.D. FLUNKIN, FOOD STAMP CASHING, GRAMPA PUNCHIN, STREET TRASH, MAKIN BABIES OUTTA WEDLOCK, OBAMA PHONE, FBI INVESTIGATED, HOs BEFORE PROs, STRIPPER POLE SCUMBAG U OF SMELL FANS. YOU SUCK.

GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! THIRTY NINE & ONE! THIRTY NINE & ONE! THIRTY NINE & ONE! THIRTY NINE & ONE! THIRTY NINE & ONE! THIRTY NINE & ONE!

THE BEASMAN beatdown countdown 12/14/15
HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! LEMME ASK YOU THIS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DAY WHEN THERE AIN’T NO U OF SMELL SCANDALS? …… I DON’T KNOW. IT AIN’T NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!

(laffs) COME ON, LARRY. YOU GOTTA LAUGH AT MY FUNNY COMEDY JOKES. Y’ALL GOT ALL THEM SCANDALS GOIN ON AND THE SCHOOL SENDS BAGHDAD BOB OUT THERE TO LIE ABOUT HOW AIN’T NOTHIN TO SEE HERE. IT WOULD BE FUNNIER IF THE U OF SMELL SPOKESMAN DENIED SCANDALS WHILE HE’S CARRYIN A NAKED DANCIN GIRL UP ON HIS SHOULDERS. (laffs)

COME ON, LARRY! LAUGH A LITTLE! ALL Y’ALL CARDINAL CRYBABIES IS JUST GITTIN THIN-SKINNED BECAUSE THE NC2A GONNA BRING THE DEATH PENALTY REAL SOON. DEEEEEEAAAAAAAAATH PENALTY! MEANWHILE, US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CHEER ON OUR BIG BLUE HEROES WHO DON’T RUN AROUND WITH WHORES. ALL THEY DO IS WIN. THE NEW PO SAYS WE IS ROLLIN’ BACK TOWARD #1 AFTER BEATIN SOME GOOD TEAMS, AND U OF SMELL IS BEATIN CUPCAKES. THAT’S FOOL’S GOLD, CARDINAL FRAUDS. SLICK RICK IS JUST PADDIN THE WIN COLUMN PLAYIN THEM RUM DUMMY TEAMS, BUT THE BIG BLUE BUZZSAW IS COMIN NEXT WEEKEND TO SHOW YOU WHAT’S WHAT.

YOU BETTER HAVE YOU SOME CHRISTMAS CHEER RIGHT NOW, DADGUMMIT, BECAUSE THE CARDINAL BEATDOWN COUNTDOWN IS NOW 12 DAYS AND COUNTIN’. COACH CAL GONNA UNLEASH THE HOUNDS AGAIN…TAKE A TWO-BY-FOUR AND SMACK SLICK RICK RIGHT UPSIDE HIS BALD SPOT ONE MORE TIME. BEATIN U OF SMELL IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON, DADGUMMIT.

LARRY, BE SURE TO TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK TO BRING A WHITE TOWEL TO RUMP ARENER. WE DON’T STOCK THOSE AND SLICK MIGHT WANT TO THROW ONE OUT THERE RIGHT AFTER THE GAME STARTS. IF Y’ALL DON’T HAVE A WHITE TOWEL, JUST THROW A PAIR OF STRIPPER PANTIES OUT THERE…WE KNOW Y’ALL GOT THOSE IN YOUR POCKETS. OH, AND IF IT’S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE, COACH CAL REQUESTED THAT THE TEAMS DON’T SHAKE HANDS AFTER THE GAME BECAUSE NONE OF THE GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCATS WANNA GIT HERPES THAT Y’ALL PICK UP FROM HANDLIN PROSTERTUTES. (laffs) COME ON, LARRY. THESE HERE IS FUNNY COMEDY JOKES AND YOU AIN’T LAUGHIN.

JUST BUCEPT REALITY. U OF SMELL DON’T BLONG ON THE FLOOR WITH THE CATS. COACH CAL DONE BEAT SLICK RICK ABOUT A HUNDERD TIMES AND SLICK ONLY WON ONCE. AND WARN YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK HE MIGHT GIT THE DIE-A-BEET-US FROM ALL THEM CUPCAKES Y’ALL GOT SCHEDULED BETWIXT NOW AND THE U UH KAY GAME. WHO Y’ALL PLAYIN NEXT? KENNESAW STATE? WOW! THAT’S REALLY GONNA GIT YOU READY FOR THE CATS. AND THEN YOU GOT THEM PANSIES FROM WESTERN KENTUCKY. THEY SUCK. COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY, YOU KNOW – COACH CAL IS ONLY PLAYIN O-HI-ER STATE NEXT SAIRDEE AND THEN WE TAKE A WHOLE WEEK TO GIT READY TO BEATDOWN THE BIRDS.

BUT SLICK RICK DONE SCHEDULED MORE CUPCAKES DURING UK WEEK. ON TUESDEE Y’ALL GOT ANDRE MCGEE’S SCHOOL OF PIMPIN AND THEN THE NEXT NIGHT YOU GOT UTAH VALLEY OF SKANKS COLLEGE.

THEM TEAMS IS EITHER GONNA WEAR Y’ALL OUT IN THE DORMS ALL NIGHT OR ELSE SLICK RICK WILL SAY THAT PLAYIN ALL THEM GAMES DONE MADE HIS CARDINALS TIRED AND THAT’S WHY THEY COULDN’T HANG WITH THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS ON SAIRDEE. SEE! HE’S ALREADY GOT HIS CRYBABY EXCUSE READY. WE SEE RIGHT THROUGH IT, SLICK. YOU DON’T GIT READY FOR THE SUPER BOWL BY PLAYIN A BUNCH OF SANDLOT TEAMS AND RISKIN INJURY AND FATIGUE, YOU RUM DUMMY. CATS BY 25 OVER SLICK RICK’S TOO-TIRED-CARDINAL BIRDS.

IT’S OVER! GO CATS! GO BLUE! EAT THEM CUPCAKES NOW YOU BUNCH OF RAP MUSIC, MAN WEARIN EARRINGS, SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO, G.E.D. FLUNKIN, GRAMPA PUNCHIN, FOOD STAMP CASHIN, WE ALL WE GOT, TOOTHLESS, BRAINLESS, GUTLESS U OF SMELL CARDINAL FRAUDS! CATS! CATS! CATS! THIRTY NINE & ONE! THIRTY NINE & ONE! THIRTY NINE & ONE!