THE BEASMAN stripper money
HELLO…IS THIS FREDO MINNER? (laffs) I WAS HOPIN YOU WOULD GIT ALL HUFFY AND START CUSSIN ME OUT LIKE THAT C.N.N. GUY WHO HATES BEIN CALLED FREDO. (laffs) FREDO! FREDO! FREDO! (laffs) HOW COME YOU AIN’T GITTIN MAD? MAYBE IT’S CUZ YOU IS SO DUMB LIKE FREDO THAT YOU DON’T KNOW YOU BEIN INSULTERCATED! (laffs) WELL…IF FREDO DON’T GIT YOU FIRED UP THEN I’LL JUST KEEP CALLIN YOU LARRY THE LOSER! (laffs)
HOW DO YOU LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR KNOWIN THAT MATT JONES IS SUCH A BETTER DEEJAY THAN YOU? MATT JONES COME ON YOUR SHOW LAST WEEK AND FINE-LEE GIVE IT SOME BIGTIME RATINGS LIKE MATT JONES GITS EVER DAY! WE WANT MATT JONES ON WH&S EVER DAY (laffs) MATT JONES WOULD BE ON HERE TODAY TAWKIN ABOUT COMBOVER JIM RAMSEY AND THE STRIPPER MONEY SUGAR DADDY. BUT NOT LARRY…HE WON’T TAWK ABOUT U OF SMELL SINS CUZ YOU IS A TRAITOR TURNCOAT WENT-TO-U-UH-KAY-BUT-CHEERS-FOR-THE-LOSERVILLE-FRAUDS!
A REAL REPORTER LIKE MATT JONES OR FREDO CUOMO KNOWS THAT LOSERVILLE CARDINAL SLEAZE NEVER TAKES A VACATION. (laffs) JUST AS SOON AS CHRIS BALDY MACK TRIES TO MAKE SLICK RICK’S DUMPSTER FIRE TO GO AWAY, UP POPS A VIDEO ABOUT PAYIN OFF THEM STRIPPERS. (laffs) I LOVE IT! Y’ALL IS GONNA BE DIRTBAG U FOREVER, YOU BUNCH OF NECK TATTOO, WHISKEY BREATH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, CARDINAL THUGS! (laffs) WHEEEEEEEE! THROW THEM STRIPPER DOLLARS AROUND AND MAKE IT RAIN! (laffs) MAKE IT RAIN S.T.D.s! (laffs)
Y’ALL TOOTHLESS, CROSS-EYED, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS CARDINALS AIN’T NOTHIN BUT DEVIL SPAWN. THAT WHOLE SCHOOL NEEDS A EXORCISM TO CHASE SATAN BACK TO TENNERSEE WHERE HE WAS BARN. (laffs) AND DON’T START SAYIN THAT GOVERNER MATT BLEVINS PUT A BUNCH OF KENTUCKY WILDCAT GRADUMAGATES ON THE U OF SMELL BOARD CUZ THAT’S ALL LIES. IT WAS LOSERVILLE SCUMBAGS WHO BROUGHT DOWN THE CARDINAL CRIMINALS. SLICK RICK AND TOMMY TURTLENECK SURROUNDED THEIRSELF WITH A BUNCH OF RICH LOSERVILLE BIDNIZMEN WHO BROUGHT THEIR HUSSIES AROUND THE PROGRUM AND THE SINFULNESS BECOME EXPECTED.
PAPA JOHN AIN’T ALLOWED TO HANG AROUND WITH COACH CAL NO MORE CUZ WE DON’T WANT HIS SLIMY PIZZA BREATH STINKIN’ UP U UH KAY LIKE HE DONE OVER AT SCANDAL U OF SMELL. THAT’S WHY RUPP ARENER CONCESSION STANDS SWITCHED TO GAS STATION PIZZA. IT’S 20 DAYS TIL FOOTBAW STARTS AND ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT FANS GONNA CHEER STOOPS TROOPS TO VICTREE OVER LITTLE NOBODY TOLEDO.
AND THEN ALL US CAT FANS GONNA BE BIGTIME NOTRE DAME FANS CHEERING THEM TO CRUSH YOUR TINY U OF SMELL POINTY HEADS INTO SAWDUST! (laffs) GO CATS! GO IRISH! YOU DRUNK CATHLICKS PUT DOWN YOUR BEER AND BINGO CARDS AND FOCUS ON WHOOPIN LOSERVILLE SO US CAT FANS STAY THE DOMMERATORS OF COLLEGE FOOTBAW! IF NOTRE DAME DON’T BEAT GOMER PYLE SATTERFIELD AND THE CARDINALS THEN WE GONNA START CALLIN NOTRE DAME’S MOST FAMOUS PLAYER FREDO ROCKNE! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!