THE BEASMAN cats now righteous
WELL CARDINAL BOY, THE WORLD DONE GOT BACK ON ITS AXLE. Y’ALL SUCK AGAIN AND THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS DOMMERATED ALABAMMER. SO THE STREAK IS DEAD AND GONE AND US CAT FANS IS BACK TO TAUNTIN LOSERS LIKE YOU. PLUS, COACH CAL DON’T GOTTA MOVE INTO BILLY CLYDE’S BASEMENT AND THE REST OF COLLEGE BASKETBAW TEAMS IS A-SHAKIN IN THEIR BOOTS KNOWIN THAT THE CATS IS GITTIN READY TO CRUSH EVER FOOL IN THEIR WAY OF THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS.
MEANTIME, U OF SMELL GOT CRUSHED LIKE A BUG BY NARTH CARAMALINER, A SCHOOL THAT’S SMART ENOUGH TO INTIMERDATE THE NC2A FROM GIVIN EM NO PENALTIES. THEM TURD HEELS SLAPPED THE CARDINAL CONVICTS LIKE THEY WAS RAG DOLLS IN A HURRICANE. LARRY, Y’ALL TWO BIT, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GOLD TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE QUEEN, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, DRIVE BY SHOOTIN LOSERVILLE THUGS AIN’T GOT NOTHIN BUT TROUBLE AHEAD NOW.
THE NC2A IS BRINGIN THE HAMMER DOWN ON YOUR FAKE NEWS BANNER. TOMMY TURTLENECK AIN’T GONNA WIN NO LAWSUIT TO GIT PAID AND YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK OWES THEM MONEY. SLICK IS A KNOWN CHEATER SO HE OWES ALL YOU STUPID CARDINAL FANS REE-FUNDS ON ALL THEM TICKETS AND POSTERS Y’ALL BOUGHT THINKIN YOU WAS SUPPORTIN A LEGITERMATE TEAM.
SLICK RICK IS THE BERNIE MADOFF OF COLLEGE COACHES. HE WAS RUNNIN A PONZI SCHEME OF LIES, STRIPPERS, AND PAYOFFS TO RECRUITS. OH, AND I HEARED YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK GOT HIS EYEBALL POKED OUT BY A JEALOUS HUSBAND WHO CAUGHT SLICK LOOKIN AT HIS WIFE’S SHART SHARTS. IT WEREN’T A DEE-TACHED RETINA…IT WAS A DEE-TACHED JAW AFTER THAT HUSBAND GOT A-HOLT OF HIM. LARRY, WHY CAINT YOU LOSERVILLE PEOPLE CHEER FOR HONEST COACHES? BOBBY PETRINKO IS A RAT FINK AND YOU KNOW HE’S GONNA GIT RUN OFF NEXT.
COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – COACH CAL IS HONEST JOHN. HE DON’T BREAK NO RULES AND SO THAT’S WHY U UH KAY GOES THROUGH SOME DOWN YEARS LIKE THIS ONE. WE DON’T CHEAT LIKE SLICK TRIED TO DO IN LOSERVILLE. AND COACH CAL DON’T LIE TO HIS PLAYERS LIKE SLICK DID. WHAT DID SLICK RICK SAY TO DONNERVAN MITCHELL LAST YEAR? HE SAID, “OH SON. STAY IN SCHOOL. YOU AIN’T READY TO GO TO NO BIGTIME NBA.” WELL…LOOKY AT WHO WON THE NBA SLAM DUNK CONTEST!
IT WAS THE SAME GUY THAT SLICK RICK BADGERED TO STAY AT LOSERVILLE. WELL WHO’S THE SMART GUY NOW? DONNERVAN MITCHELL IS THE NBA ROOKIE OF THE YEAR AND SLICK RICK IS WORKING AS A GREETER AT WAL-MART SO HE GOT HEALTH INSURANCE TO PAY OFF HIS POKED-OUT EYEBALL! WAKE UP, LARRY! THESE CATS IS COMIN BACK AND YOU U OF SMELLER’S BOUT TO GIT THE DEATH PENALTY SO YOU CAINT PLAY FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS. LARRY, LEXINUN WANTS TO BE A SANCTUARY CITY TO ALL YOU WAYWARD, BROKE DOWN CARDINAL FANS WHO AIN’T GOT NOTHIN BUT THE UGLY U OF SMELL SHIRT ON YOUR BACK.
Y’ALL U OF SMELL HOBOs NEED TO COME OVER TO LEXINUN AND LET US GIVE YOU A FREE BIG BLUE NATION SHIRT AND LET Y’ALL SPEND A FEW YEARS BEIN OUR JANITORS AND HARSE STALL POOP SCOOPERS. AND IF YOU WORK REAL HARD AND LEARN HOW TO SAY “GO BIG BLUE,” YOUR PATHETIC LIFE OF BEIN A U OF SMELL FRAUD CAN BE OVER AND BEHIND YOU.
YOU CAN THRIVE IN LEXINUN AS A SERVANT TO LIFETIME TRUE BLUE FANS WHO WON’T HATE YOU SO MUCH NO MORE CUZ WE IS GOOD AND CLASSY! AND IF YOU DEE-CIDE TO GO ON BEIN A STUPID U OF SMELL FAN WITH NO FUTURE, GO AHEAD. AFTER DUKE GITS THROUGH WITH YOU, Y’ALL GONNA BE BLOODIED UP TWICE AS BAD AS NARTH CARAMALINER DONE DID TO YOU. GO DUKE! GO DUKIES! BEAT THEM ROTTEN CARDINAL BIRDS! CAT FANS LOVE DUKE THIS WEEK AND THIS WEEK ONLY! AWWWWWW D-U-K-E DUKE! DUKE! DUKE!