A surprising win brings The Beasman gamecockiness

THE BEASMAN 10/6/14

YOU AND ALL YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL CONVICT FRIENDS GOT TO BE SICK TO YOUR STOMACH WORRIED ABOUT WHAT U UH KAY FOOTBAW GONNA DO TO YOU NEXT MONTH.

Jojo Kemp took charge in the 4th quarter and led UK to a 45-38 win over South Carolina.

Y’ALL CAINT FARFIT NOW, LOSERVILLE, YOU GOTTA PLAY THE CATS AND TAKE YOUR LUMPIN’. NOW GIT ON THE RADIO AND TAWK UP U UH KAY FOOTBAW, YOU BALD HAIRED TRAITOR TURNCOAT. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS DONE GONE ON A S.E.C. WINNIN STREAK AND YOU AINT HARDLY TAWKED ABOUT IT TODAY.

9-year-old Gracie caught her first 40 yard pass on October 5, 2014. After 4 passes bounced off of her arms, she refused to walk away until she caught one, surpassing last year's 39 yard grab. — 9-year-old Gracie caught her first 40 yard pass on October 5, 2014. After 4 passes bounced off of her arms, she refused to walk away until she caught one, surpassing last year’s 39 yard grab.

OH, BUT YOU GOT TIME TO TAWK ABOUT THROWING A BAW 40 YARDS TO YOUR DAUGHTER. I BET YOUR WIFE THROWED THAT BAW BECAUSE A PENCIL NECK GEEK SISSY SLICK RICK BOYFRIEND NANCY BOY LIKE LARRY MINNER CAINT THROW NO FOOTBAW LIKE A MAN. OH, AND YOU GOT TIME TO TAWK ABOUT SAINT X HIGH SCHOOL AND THE GREEN GAY BUTT PACKERS AND EVEN U OF SMELL BEATIN NOBODY SYRAMACUSE BUT YOU ACT LIKE KENTUCKY FOOTBAW DON’T EXIST. STOOPS TROOPS GONNA GIVE LOSERVILLE THE POOPS. U UH KAY GONNA JACK YOUR JAW REAL GOOD AND MAKE YOU LITTLE BROTHER CRYBABIES WISH YOU WOULDA STAYED IN THAT NOBODY LEAGUE WITH BELLARMINE AND ALL THEM DI-RECTIONAL SCHOOLS. YOUR LITTLE HAS BEEN DAYS OF ORANGE BO AND SUGAR BO HAS DONE MELTED DOWN INTO THE STRUGGLE-TO-BEAT-NOBODIES BOWL.

Alvin Dupree snared a deflected South Carolina pass and scooted into the end zone to give UK its winning margin over the Gamecocks. Fans rushed the field after the victory.

U UH KAY IS PLAYING FOR THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS. ALABAMMER IS A LOSER. LSU IS A LOSER. OHIO STATE IS A LOSER. AND YOU REDNECK U OF SMELLERS THINK YOU’S BIGTIME CUZ THE PO PUT YOU AT #29 BUT LOOK WHO’S GAINING ON YOU. U UH KAY! WE IS IN THE PO, TOO, YOU STUPID LOSERVILLE, SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO, FOOD STAMP CASHIN, MAKING BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, METH LAB, G.E.D. FLUNKIN, PUNKIN CHUNKIN, GRAMPA PUNCHIN, U OF SMELL FRAUD HAS BEENS. U UH KAY IS REALLY UNDERDEFEATED CUZ WE BEAT FLORIDA IN THAT TRIPLE OVERTIME. AND OUR NEXT GAME IS AGAINST A CUPCAKE NAME OF LOOSE-EE-ANA MONROE. SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THEM NOBODY SCHOOLS U OF SMELL IS ALWAYS LINING UP FOR BASKETBAW AND SLICK RICK TAWKS EM UP LIKE THEY POSED TO BE GOOD. WELL COACH STOOPS AINT GONNA DO THAT. HE SHOOTS STRAIGHT FROM THE HIP SO HE’LL SAY THAT THESE SUGAR BOWL-BOUND KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GONNA KILL THESE CUPCAKES WE IS PLAYING SAIRDEE…SO THAT WILL MAKE US #1 IN THE S.E.C. AND ON OUR WAY TO THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS.

AND ALL YOU LITTLE BROTHER U OF SMELLERS CAN DO IS START WORRYING THAT YOU GONNA LOSE TO U UH KAY IN BOTH FOOTBAW AND BASKETBAW BECAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW COACH CAL GOT THE DREAM TEAM THIS FALL. WE GONNA COME INTO YOUR CHICKEN BUCKET AND STICK YOUR POINTY CARDINAL HEADS RIGHT IN THE DEEP FRYER AND TURN YOU INTO A BUNCH OF EXTRA CRISPY HAS BEENS. GIVE IT UP, LOSERVILLE. IT’S THE YEAR OF THE WILDCAT AND WE GONNA ENJOY THROWING YOUR CON MAN COACHES IN THE WOODCHIPPER FOR GOOD. BOBBY PETRINKO AINT GOT THE MAGIC NO MORE AND SLICK RICK BEEN WARSHED UP SINCE PEDRO SIVA LEFT TOWN. STICK A FARK IN YOU, LOSERVILLE, IT’S A BIG BLUE UNIVERSE NOW. ALL Y’ALL CAN DO IS SET AND FRET, THINKING ABOUT THE DOUBLE BEATDOWN YOU GONNA GIT FROM LEXINUN. IT’S OVER, YOU CARDINAL FRAUDS. U UH KAY BEATS YOU IN FOOTBAW, BASKETBAW, SOCCER, BASEBAW, AND TIDDLY WINKS.

THE ONLY THING Y’ALL BEAT US ON IS MISSPELLED NECK TATTOOS, YOU BUNCH OF TWO-BIT, LITTLE BROTHER, PAROLE OFFICER, GODLESS, HORNY HOOK-UP, GOLD TEETH, STOLEN NECK CHAIN, WATERFRONT PARK RAMPAGIN’, FLATBILL, OBAMA LOVING, WELFARE QUEEN, ILLITERATE, TOOTHLESS LOSERVILLE LOSERS. YOU’RE GAY, LARRY. TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK TO RETIRE BEFORE COACH CAL GOES A HUNDRED TO ONE ON HIM. GO CATS! GO BLUE! GO CATS!