What a moment. Soak it all in, @ShaneLowryGolf. #TheOpen pic.twitter.com/IRpjCQ20a8— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) July 21, 2019 THE BEASMAN jb holmes sort of wins British Open WOOOOOO YEAH! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! DADGUMMIT, THATāS WHAT I WAS SHOUTINā REAL LOUD WHEN THAT BEARDED, POTBELLY GOLFER FROM KENTUCKY J.B. HOLMES WON THE BRITISH OPEN! YEAH! GO CATS! KENTUCKY RULES THE WORLD! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! (sigh) BUT THEN MY BUDDY SAYS TO ME, HE SAYS āBEASMANā¦THAT AINāT J.B. HOLMES HOLDIN UP THAT TROPHYā¦THATāS SOME DRUNK IRISHMAN NAME OF SHANE LOWRY." DADGUMMIT, I RUBBED MY EYES TWO OR THREE TIMES AND JUST THROWED THE TV REMOTE AT THE FIREPLACE. EVERBODY ALL WEEKEND KEPT SAYIN āJB
Tag: UofL
Kentucky can mow down a row of daffodils on the way to the Final Four
THE BEASMAN march madness (1) HEY LARREEEEEEā¦LARRY THE LOSER DONE TODE HIS BALD BUDDY CHRIS MACK TO NOT BOTHER PACKIN NO OVERNIGHT BAG. THE NC2A FOUNT ANOTHER PITINO TO WRECK YOUR PROGRUM. U OF SMELL FIRED HIS DADDY AND SLICK RICK IS SUIN U OF SMELL FOR FARDY MILLION DOLLARS. I BETCHA RICHARD PITINO GONNA HAVE ANDRE MCGEE SETTIN ON HIS BENCH ALONG WITH THREE F.B.I. AGENTS REFEREEING THE GAME. (laffs) YāALL AINāT GOT A PRAYER, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, DUKE COLLAPSIN FOOLS. (laffs) MEANTIME, AMERICAāS TEAM, THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS GONNA ROLL RIGHT THROUGH THAT WEAK SAUCE BRACKET LIKE THE BULLS IN PIMP-PLANNO. U UH KAYāS BRACKET IS LIKE THAT LOSERVILLE SINKHOLEā¦ALL
UofL hits the skids and The Beasman ain’t too blue about it
THE BEASMAN cathlick magic POOR, POOR CARDINAL BIRDS. DONE LOST āEM THREE IN A ROW AND AINāT NO RELIEF IN SIGHT. MARCH SADNESS STARTS TOMORROW IN YOUR GHETTO TOWN WHILE THE REST OF BIG BLUE NATION GITS READY TO WIN ANOTHER CHAMPERCHIPS! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! BUT OL U OF SMELL CAINT EVEN BEAT NOBODY BOSTON BAKED BEAN COLLEGE. (laffs) TOO BAD, SO SAD! (laffs) YOU KNOW LARRY, IāD LIKE TO SAY ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS FANS IS FEELIN PITY FOR YOU LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES BUT I DONāT WANNA LIE RIGHT HERE ON THE LECTRIC RADIO. (laffs) YāALL U OF SMELL FAILURES NEED TO
100% chance of a Blue Wave beatdown, Beasman chants DEAD MAN WALKING!
(laffs) TELL THE CARDINAL STADIUM CREW TO PUT ALL NEW LIGHTBULBS IN THE SCOREBOARD CUZ THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS BOUT TO LIGHT IT UP LIKE A CALIFARNIA WILDFIRE! (laffs) IF THEM CRABBY OLD PEOPLE THINK TOP GOLF IS TOO BRIGHT, THEY SURE AINāT GONNA LIKE HOW STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TORCH U OF SMELL! (laffs) LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS COMIN TO YOUR GHETTO TOWN TO FINALLY PUT THEM LOSERVILLE CARDINALS OUTTA THEIR MISERY. THAT TEMPORARY COACH WAS SO BAD THAT BOBBY PETRINO AST HIM TO BECOME ANOTHER SON-IN-LAW. (laffs) THAT NEW COACH IS SO WORTHLESS THAT U OF SMELL TRIED TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER $14 MILLION TO GO AWAY. (laffs) LARRY,
1st world problem: my free seats aren’t good enough
A few days before the University of Louisville football team opened its 2018 season with a nationally televised battle against #1 Alabama, an unnecessary upheaval derailed the focus from football. The son of former athletics director Tom Jurich attacked the new athletics director over a future seating matter that should have been handled by whomever negotiated the the elder Jurich's severance package. Mark Jurich sent a scathing email debasing his former close friend Vince Tyra, the new athletics director who replaced Mark's dad Tom Jurich. The email, printed below, is filled with vicious personal attacks all wrapped around the notion of "disrespect" shown to Tyra's predecessor. Tom Jurich and his loyal son Mark both believe that Tyra "schemed for over a
Cards get their jaws jacked in the NIT, the Beasman suggest a Toys R Us strategy to go out of business
THE BEASMAN cards pounded by miss state (laffs) I BEEN A-LAUGHIN ALL LAST NIGHT AND TODAY WATCHING U OF SMELLāS DUMPSTER FIRE TURN INTO A INFERNO! GOVERNOR BLEVINS NEEDS TO DEE-CLARE THE U OF SMELL ATHLETICS DEE-PARTMENT A DISASTER AREA. IN CASE YOU DINT GIT THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER OFF THE TRUCK THAT SMASHED YOUR N.I.T. DREAMS, IT SAID āMISTERSIPPI STATE.ā (laffs) LOOK OUT, CARDINAL BIRDSā¦HERE COMES ANOTHER SLAM DUNK DOWN ON YOUR POINTY CHEATIN HEADS! LARRY, THE S.E.C. JACKS LITTLE BROTHERāS JAW AND EVERTHANG IS HAP-HA-HAPPY IN BIG BLUE NATION! HOW YOU DOIN, LARRY? IāM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR NOT KILLIN YOURSELF. I FIGGERED LOTS OF CARDINAL CRYBABY FANS WOULD JUMP
Cats losing streak ends so now UK fans are free to resume taunting others
THE BEASMAN cats now righteous WELL CARDINAL BOY, THE WORLD DONE GOT BACK ON ITS AXLE. YāALL SUCK AGAIN AND THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS DOMMERATED ALABAMMER. SO THE STREAK IS DEAD AND GONE AND US CAT FANS IS BACK TO TAUNTIN LOSERS LIKE YOU. PLUS, COACH CAL DONāT GOTTA MOVE INTO BILLY CLYDEāS BASEMENT AND THE REST OF COLLEGE BASKETBAW TEAMS IS A-SHAKIN IN THEIR BOOTS KNOWIN THAT THE CATS IS GITTIN READY TO CRUSH EVER FOOL IN THEIR WAY OF THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS. MEANTIME, U OF SMELL GOT CRUSHED LIKE A BUG BY NARTH CARAMALINER, A SCHOOL THATāS SMART ENOUGH TO INTIMERDATE THE NC2A FROM GIVIN EM NO PENALTIES. THEM TURD HEELS SLAPPED THE CARDINAL CONVICTS LIKE
During its most tumultuous year ever, the University of Louisville still found joy in Lamar
Lamar Jackson was doing more Lamar Jackson things for @UofLFootball today. pic.twitter.com/W1dk4xttT6— ACC Digital Network (@theACCDN) November 25, 2017 Lamar Jackson kept Louisville from a complete crash-and-burn during its parade of basketball and academic scandals. Thank God for Lamar. His complete domination of UK in the regular season finale was brilliant. .@uoflfootball celebrates their win over #Kentucky in the #GovernorsCup game. @KYNewsNet @840WHAS @KYNewsNet @CardsRadio pic.twitter.com/Mb9JocNtwq— Will Clark (@WClark840WHAS) November 25, 2017 And Lamar's brilliance shone all season. The best ever!!! @Lj_era8 @UofLFootball @HeismanTrophy #RingTheBell pic.twitter.com/KBf2jG0W3N— Bobby Petrino (@CoachPetrinoUL) November 22, 2017 ======= My prediction from earlier in the week ======= Saturday marks the end of Lamar's regular season career at UofL. My prediction is that Lamar has
We, the hazy future of Louisville
Tom Jurich and Rick Pitino have both been fired with cause. Pitinoās sixteen year term was burdened by multiple scandals. Thatās cause. More litigation to come as Pitino's lawyer promised "a bare knuckle fight." Earlier today, Jurich was offered a relatively miniscule buyout if he resigned before the University of Louisville board of trustees voted to fire him. He declined the offer and was then told the school is considering filing a lawsuit against him. No other details were given. Legal teams for both Pitino and Jurich were given very short appearances before the boards. Pitino lawyer Steve Pence said he had "a well prepared and solid one hour presentation" at Monday's hearing yet there wasn't "a
Rick Pitino halftime hilarity – Who knows what’s next?
University of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino and I had a ton of fun with his TV show during his first 12 years in Louisville. The contract eventually went to a different TV station and we lost our weekly silliness. Here's a typical show. It originally aired on December 20, 2008. The final segment (at approx 21 minutes in) shows a montage of the goofball halftime interviews we would do for laughs. Once I launched my second question, I had no idea what Pitino would say to break my shoes. ESPN Sportscenter eventually picked it up one night. Pitino saw it and texted: "Our act finally made it to national TV." Mission accomplished. Coach P