THE BEASMAN rofl scandals 12/11/15 HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! WHAT KIND OF SCANDAL IS U OF SMELL DENYING TODAY? (laffs) āHEY DONāT WORRY ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO GIVE MONEY TO U OF SMELLā¦.THE FBI INVESTERGATES ALL SCHOOLSā¦NOTHING TO SEE HEREā¦KEEP SENDING IN YOUR CHECKS.ā YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, IDIOT U OF SMELL FANS IS REAPING WHAT YOU SOW WHEN YOU HIRE SCALAWAGS LIKE SLICK RICK, TOMMY TURTLENECK, AND BOBBY PETRINO. THEY IS PAYIN THEIRSELFS MILLIONS WITH YOUR DONATIONS AND THEN HIRING CRIMINALS FOR STEALING MORE MONEY OR BUYING PROSTERTUTES OR HAVING AFFAIRS WITH SOME SKANK. U OF SMELL IS A SOAP OPRY, CALL IT āALL MY SCANDALS,ā AND YāALL COULD
Tag: university of kentucky
#1 UK not ready for Hollywood lights
How did unranked UCLA beat #1 UK so decisively? Sports Illustrated's Gregory Habeeb explains. RADIO SCRIPT: THE BEASMAN ucla breakdown (crying) IāM BACK IN MY BED WITH THE COVERS PULT UP OVER MY HEAD, LARRY MINNER. (cry hard) IT AINāT POSED TO BE LIKE ISS, DADGUMMIT. YESTERDEE I WAS LAUGHIN AND CARRYIN ON ABOUT HOW SLICK RICK AND THE LOSERVILLE FRAUDS GOT CLOWNED BY MICHERGAN STATE BUT TODAY THEM CALIFARNIA ILLEGAL ALIEN WELFARE MOOCHERS IS DOIN ALL THE LAFFIN BECAUSE THEY BEAT AMERICAāS TEAM, THE CATS. (cry) DONāT YOU SMIRK, LARRY MINNER. I HEAR YOU SMIRKIN. I BET YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK WAS UP ALL NIGHT LAUGHIN ABOUT UCLA WHOOPIN COACH CAL
The Beasman don’t like losin’ to no Little Brother Loserville
THE BEASMAN first call after loss (crying) I DONāT WANNA GIT OUTTA BED, YOU BALD HAIRED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN CARDINAL FRAUD. LARRY, COME OVER HERE AND JUST HOLD MY PILLER DOWN OVER MY FACE UNTIL I STOP WIGGLIN. I KEEP THINKIN I DONāT WANNA LIVE NO MORE CUZ I CAINT STAND GITTIN MOCKED BY CARDINAL LOUDMOUTHS LIKE YOU. BUT I CALLED MY PREACHER AND HE SAID IF I COMMIT SEWER-CIDE THEN I IS GOIN TO HADES WHERE I WILL SPEND ETERNITY WITH NOTHIN BUT SINFUL, DEVIL WORSHIPPIN U OF SMELL FANS, SO I GOT TO FIGGER OUT HOW TO GO ON LIVIN. PLUS I GOT A āSPONSOR-BILITY TO ALL THE OTHER GOOD &
The Beasman’s holiday season means ho, ho, ho
THE BEASMAN u of smell plunge HOW'S EVERTHANG IN SIN CITY, BALDY? IS Y'ALL SPRAYIN FOR A HERPES OUTBREAK? IT DON'T MATTER THAT THE F.F.A. LEFT TOWN. ALL YOUR HOTEL ROOMS IS FILLED WITH NC2A INVESTIGATORS OR HOOKERS HELPIN Y'ALL RECRUIT. HEY LARRY, BEFORE YOU START FLAPPING YOUR BALD HEAD, SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN MOUTH ABOUT HOW TENNERSEE WHOOPED U UH KAY IN FOOTBAW, JUST MEMBER THAT BOBBY THE FORNICATORāS U OF SMELL TEAM IS DONE. STICK A FARK IN YOU. U OF SMELL GOIN DOWN TO SYRAMACUSE & PITTSNOGGLE & VIRGINNY, AND THEN YOU GONNA LOSE BIG TO U UH KAY FOR THANKSGIVIN. YāALL CARDINALS FLOPPED AROUND LIKE A FISH ON A SIDEWALK
Halloween in Big Boo Nation
This year's University of Kentucky football season launched with several nice wins and a close call with Florida. Now 4-4 with a blowout at the hands of rival Tennessee, UK fans are clamoring for basketball to begin. Chillax. QB Patrick Towles still believes an 8-4 season is at hand. Kentucky head coach Mark Stoops: "Not a very good effort...(UK will) go get (win) #5...the only way to make this feeling go away." Kentucky offensive coordinator Shannon Dawson: "Obviously a lot of (the reason for the blowout) was them." At least American Pharoah had a dazzling Halloween in Lexington, collecting thoroughbred racing's first ever Triple Crown + BC Classic for a grand slam. Thanks for the ride, American Pharoah. UK's loss to Tennessee
The Pain Train – 68 teams enter the arena and 67 leave hurting
As magnificent as the 2014-15 Kentucky Wildcats looked on paper, "The Unbeatables" were beaten by the Wisconsin Badgers. Kentucky fans are in deep despair as are Kentucky retailers and UK's bottom line. But Wisconsin has fans, too. Despite Kentuckians' claims that host city Indianapolis will suffer from the evacuation of the Big Blue Mist, fans of Wisconsin and Duke have disposable income to spread around. Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers tweeted a few zingers toward teammate and former Wildcat Randall Cobb just before tipoff and early into the game. After the victory, Rodgers tweeted a simple #OnWisconsin. Gametime. #OnWisconsin Long day for @rcobb18 hopefully.— Aaron Rodgers (@AaronRodgers12) April 5, 2015 .@rcobb18 nervous bro? Good start for the red team.— Aaron Rodgers
Perfection Rejection – Kentucky loses
You'd better stay away from this guy for a few weeks. The vaunted Kentucky Wildcats basketball team lost to Wisconsin, ending a streak of 38 straight wins on a path to what seemed to be perfection. RADIO SCRIPTS FOR MONDAY, APRIL 6, 2015 THE BEASMAN #1 buy all the tickets WHY, GOD, WHY? (sniffing and crying) I AINT GOT OUTTA BED YET CUZ MY HEART DONE BEEN BROKE WHEN THE PATH TO PERFECTION WENT OVER A CLIFF. (cry) THEY TELL ME EASTER SUNDEE CHURCH SERVICES ACROSS KENTUCKY WAS LIKE A GHOST TOWN. NO CAT FANS NOWHERE. WEāS ALL SICK TO OUR BONES WITH ANOTHER FINAL FOUR MELTDOWN. I WAS BUXPECTIN TO CALL UP HERE TODAY AND MAKE FUN OF YOU
How sweet it is again
The Kentucky Wildcats and Louisville Cardinals have both reached the Sweet 16 in the NCAA Tournament. Louisville once again is the highest-rated American TV market for game watching. Final Four Fever is throttling up again as dominating Kentucky is expected to sweep right through for the Wildcats' 9th national championship. BONUS VIDEO: The NCAA posted a profile of Montrezl Harrell re: Louisville's storied history with The Dunk The Beasman radio script for March 23, 2015 FARDY & OH WITH 4 TO GO! FARDY & OH WITH 4 TO GO! FARDY & OH WITH 4 TO GO! CATS! CATS! CATS! YOU KNOW ALL THEM OTHER TEAMS ABOUT TO POOTY THEIR PANTS WORRIED ABOUT HAVING TO PLAY
Rick Pitino on UK, Coach Cal, Cat fans in Yum, comparison to ’96, and whether to continue the rivalry
University of Louisville head basketball coach Rick Pitino didn't have much to say following his team's latest loss to arch-rival Kentucky, the seventh loss out of eight games since John Calipari arrived in Lexington. He needed a day to decompress and then we chatted about the game on 840WHAS Radio on Monday, December 29. Pitino didn't shy away from talking about Coach Cal, UK's potential, abundant UK fans in the KFC Yum Center, and much more. AUDIO from WHAS Radio TRANSCRIPT Pitino enjoys life away from basketball during the few weeks a year that he's not working but he has no plans to walk away from the game he cherishes. He loves his Louisville Cardinals and still honors his Kentucky coaching years with
Jennifer Lawrence & The Lawrence family: a solid bond
Academy Award winning actress Jennifer Lawrence, a Louisville native who is Hollywood's top box office draw, was home for the Christmas holidays. She visited Kosair Children's Hospital, lent a hand at Wayside Christian Mission, and cheered for her UofL Cardinals at the KFC Yum Center. Oddly enough, I wound up delivering several outfits to the movie star at the arena when she arrived with her family. The Lawrence family is adored locally for operating Camp Hi Ho, a summer day camp for kids. Jennifer's mom and dad got a big kick out of watching me pretend to be fashion judge as the star decided on which Louisville garb to wear to the arena. MORE PHOTOS HERE EN ESPANOL