THE BEASMAN cathlick magic POOR, POOR CARDINAL BIRDS. DONE LOST āEM THREE IN A ROW AND AINāT NO RELIEF IN SIGHT. MARCH SADNESS STARTS TOMORROW IN YOUR GHETTO TOWN WHILE THE REST OF BIG BLUE NATION GITS READY TO WIN ANOTHER CHAMPERCHIPS! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! BUT OL U OF SMELL CAINT EVEN BEAT NOBODY BOSTON BAKED BEAN COLLEGE. (laffs) TOO BAD, SO SAD! (laffs) YOU KNOW LARRY, IāD LIKE TO SAY ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS FANS IS FEELIN PITY FOR YOU LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES BUT I DONāT WANNA LIE RIGHT HERE ON THE LECTRIC RADIO. (laffs) YāALL U OF SMELL FAILURES NEED TO
Tag: UK
SADDEST KENTUCKY NIGHT EVER? Cats and Cards toasted at the final buzzer
COUNT IT!No. 19 LSU stuns No. 5 Kentucky ... AT THE BUZZER. #SCtop10 pic.twitter.com/M8LHpexYxV— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) February 13, 2019 THE BEASMAN uk and u of smell torched at the buzzer (cry) I AINāT HAD A WINK OF SLEEP, LARRY MINNER. (cry) IT FINE-LEE STOPPED RAININ BUT NOW THE EN-TIRE STATE OF KENTUCKY IS DROWNIN IN OUR OWN TEARS. (cry) WHY? WHY? WHY? (cry) THIS CAINT BE HAPPENIN TO US GOOD AND CLASSY BIG BLUE NATION FANS. (cry) COACH CAL GOT TO GO. HE DONE LOST THAT PRIZE REE-CRUIT TO DADGUM JARJUH ON MONDEE AND THEN THE CATS GIT JOBBED AT THE BUZZER LAST NIGHT CUZ THEM REFFERMARIES AINāT AFRAID OF COACH CAL NO MORE. (cry)
Cats crush Cards and The Beasman claims Brohm and Rondale ain’t a-comin’
THE BEASMAN cats crush cards TOUCHDOWWWWWWNNNNNN KENTUCKY! (laffs) THE CATS IS STILL OUT THERE SCORIN, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, CROOKED TEETH, CROWN ROYAL FOR BREAKFAST, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, GUTLESS LOSERVILLE THUGS! TOUCHDOWWWWNNNN KENTUCKY! AND THEY IS GOIN FOR TWO AFTER EVER TOUCHDOWN CUZ LOSERVILLE CAINT STOP A TODDLER FROM GETTING TO THE END ZONE! (laffs) I HOPE YOU U OF SMELLERS FINALLY ACCEPT YOUR FATE AS LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES. YāALL COULDNāT BEAT A DIVISION 3 TEAM OF CROSS-EYED COMPUTER NERDS. (laffs) I HEARD JEFF BROHM JUST KISSED HIS PURDUE BOSS ON THE MOUTH AND SAID āPLEASE LET ME STAY. I CAINT DO NOTHIN TO FIX THAT LOSERVILLE DUMPSTER FIRE!ā SO THEN PURDUE CUT JEFF
100% chance of a Blue Wave beatdown, Beasman chants DEAD MAN WALKING!
(laffs) TELL THE CARDINAL STADIUM CREW TO PUT ALL NEW LIGHTBULBS IN THE SCOREBOARD CUZ THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS BOUT TO LIGHT IT UP LIKE A CALIFARNIA WILDFIRE! (laffs) IF THEM CRABBY OLD PEOPLE THINK TOP GOLF IS TOO BRIGHT, THEY SURE AINāT GONNA LIKE HOW STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TORCH U OF SMELL! (laffs) LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS COMIN TO YOUR GHETTO TOWN TO FINALLY PUT THEM LOSERVILLE CARDINALS OUTTA THEIR MISERY. THAT TEMPORARY COACH WAS SO BAD THAT BOBBY PETRINO AST HIM TO BECOME ANOTHER SON-IN-LAW. (laffs) THAT NEW COACH IS SO WORTHLESS THAT U OF SMELL TRIED TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER $14 MILLION TO GO AWAY. (laffs) LARRY,
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN MADNESS – Did Slick Rick and Larry break up for good?
THE BEASMAN slick dumps larry HEY LAREEEE! LARRY DADGUM MINNER! (laffs) I CANāT BLEEVE YOU AINāT CHECKED INTO OUR LADY UH PEACE FOR MENTAL ILLNESS. YOU GOT TO BE DOWNRIGHT DEE-PRESSED OVER ALL KINDA THANGS. THROW THEM STUPID Ls UP, YOU LOSERS! L STANDS FOR LOSER! L STANDS FOR LOSER! (laffs) YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS GOT BLASTED OUT OF THE STADIUM AGAINST BIGTIME S.E.C. FOOTBAW. OL NICK SABAN KICKED YOUR CARDINAL BEAKS SO HARD YOU CAINāT EVEN WHISTLE DIXIE! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS SHOWED THEY IS ANOTHER S.E.C. PIRE BY TROUNCIN MICHERGAN LASS SAIRDEE, AND NOW WE GONNA WHOOP US SOME FLOR-I-DER GATORS. CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP DOWN ON THAT STREAK CUZ ITāS OVER! THE STREAK
Cats losing streak ends so now UK fans are free to resume taunting others
THE BEASMAN cats now righteous WELL CARDINAL BOY, THE WORLD DONE GOT BACK ON ITS AXLE. YāALL SUCK AGAIN AND THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS DOMMERATED ALABAMMER. SO THE STREAK IS DEAD AND GONE AND US CAT FANS IS BACK TO TAUNTIN LOSERS LIKE YOU. PLUS, COACH CAL DONāT GOTTA MOVE INTO BILLY CLYDEāS BASEMENT AND THE REST OF COLLEGE BASKETBAW TEAMS IS A-SHAKIN IN THEIR BOOTS KNOWIN THAT THE CATS IS GITTIN READY TO CRUSH EVER FOOL IN THEIR WAY OF THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS. MEANTIME, U OF SMELL GOT CRUSHED LIKE A BUG BY NARTH CARAMALINER, A SCHOOL THATāS SMART ENOUGH TO INTIMERDATE THE NC2A FROM GIVIN EM NO PENALTIES. THEM TURD HEELS SLAPPED THE CARDINAL CONVICTS LIKE
During its most tumultuous year ever, the University of Louisville still found joy in Lamar
Lamar Jackson was doing more Lamar Jackson things for @UofLFootball today. pic.twitter.com/W1dk4xttT6— ACC Digital Network (@theACCDN) November 25, 2017 Lamar Jackson kept Louisville from a complete crash-and-burn during its parade of basketball and academic scandals. Thank God for Lamar. His complete domination of UK in the regular season finale was brilliant. .@uoflfootball celebrates their win over #Kentucky in the #GovernorsCup game. @KYNewsNet @840WHAS @KYNewsNet @CardsRadio pic.twitter.com/Mb9JocNtwq— Will Clark (@WClark840WHAS) November 25, 2017 And Lamar's brilliance shone all season. The best ever!!! @Lj_era8 @UofLFootball @HeismanTrophy #RingTheBell pic.twitter.com/KBf2jG0W3N— Bobby Petrino (@CoachPetrinoUL) November 22, 2017 ======= My prediction from earlier in the week ======= Saturday marks the end of Lamar's regular season career at UofL. My prediction is that Lamar has
The Beasman laments losing to U of Smell and says UK players are afraid to sleep in dangerous Ville
UK and UofL played the opening of a best-of-three series while I was prepping to go on the radio so I had to write a script for either outcome. Here's the audio we used following U of L's 5-2 victory in game one. THE BEASMAN after UK baseball victory AWWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! HOW BOUT THEM KENTUCKY WILDCATS, YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH SORE LOSER CARDINAL CRYBABY TRAITOR TURNCOAT! I TODE YOU THESE HERE WILDCATS WAS GONNA ROCK YOUR UNDERSIZE JOCKS, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, FLAT BILL, ROTGUT WHISKEY BREATH, SINFUL, GUN TOTIN, GRAMPA PUNCHIN CARDINAL THUGS. ITāS OVER FOR YOU PEOPLE, DONāT YOU SEE THAT? ALL THE WALLS IS FALLIN IN ON THE LITTLE CARDINAL
Wednesday is the Turd Day of the week
radio script THE BEASMAN go north caramaliner GO TURD HEELS! GO TURD HEELS! BEAT THAT VILLE! BEAT THAT VILLE! LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! I BET YOU WAS UP LATE LAST NIGHT PULLIN REAL HARD FOR MIZZOU TO UPSET THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS SO IāS JUST RETURNIN THE FLAVOR. GO TURD HEELS! GO TURD HEELS! KENTUCKY BLUE LOVES CARAMALINER BLUE TONIGHT! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GOT US A LUMPY VICTREE OVER MISS-OOR-UH LASS NIGHT BUT A WIN IS A WIN. WEāLL TAKE IT, DADGUMMIT! COACH CAL GOT A T. DE-ANDREA FOX WAS DOWN ON THE GROUND AND LOOKIN BROKE. BUT BAM AND DOM AND WILL AND MONK AND DRAKE
Cards top Cats 73-70 guaranteeing Blue Christmas
UofL played a terrific game against a talent-heavy Kentucky squad, relieving pressure on what's been a lopsided rivalry. Big win for Louisville. Great night for Quentin Snider & Deng Adel vs UK's vaunted guard tandem of Malik Monk and De'Aaron Fox. My radio buddy The Beasman isn't happy about his Cats, his Coach, or his Christmas. Along with Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson, Louisville Ballard alum Quentin "Q" Snider both became the toasts of the holiday season on Planet Red. One little Q down in Louville knew... this Christmas would not be blue#L1C4 pic.twitter.com/RqR8d6Eqn2— Terry Meiners (@terrymeiners) December 22, 2016 THE BEASMAN cats lose to cards (sad with sniffles) MAYBE COACH CAL SHOULDA STOLE YOUR PLAYBOOK, YOU BUNCH OF CROSS-EYED, TWO-BIT, GOD-HATIN