THE BEASMAN cats losing streak I HATE YOU AND EVERTHANG YOU STAND FOR, YOU CROSS EYED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, LYIN, TRAITOR TURNCOAT, USED TO BE A WILDCAT BUT NOW YOU IS A PHONEY BLONEY, SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN CARDINAL FRAUD. (cry) COACH CAL SAYS AINT NO CRYIN ON THE YACHT, BUT DADGUMMIT, THE YACHT IS SINKIN! DOES THE WATER GOTTA GIT TO MY NECK BEFORE I START CRYIN? (cry) I CAINT BLEEVE MY PRECIOUS KENTUCKY WILDCATS DONE LOSTED THREE IN A ROW AND EIGHT GAMES ALL SEASON. DADGUMMIT, COACH CAL IS THE NEW TEN LOSS TUBBY. (cry) MAYBE COACH CAL IS CRAZY WITH THE FLU AND AIN’T IN HIS RIGHT MIND. HE SAYS THE WILDCATS
Tag: the beasman
Silence of the NCAA – death penalty, where is thy sting?
The week passes without an official notice from the NCAA on whether the University of Louisville's appeal of sanctions will be honored. All speculation is that the NCAA will affirm the original sanctions that include nullifying the 2013 men's basketball national championship, the 2012 Final Four appearance, and return of monies earned by the school for any games where ineligible players performed. Ineligibility was assigned to any player who had received sexual favors during a three year period where alleged prostitute Katina Powell provided women to players, recruits, and recruit chaperones. But the NCAA's silence doesn't keep The Beasman quiet. RADIO SKETCH JANUARY 26, 2018 YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU TRAITOR TURNCOAT WILDCAT BACKSTABBER. I HEAR YOU ON THERE SMIRKIN AND
The Beasman says Christmas didn’t start until the Cats stomped the Cards
THE BEASMAN #1 (long laffs) LARRY? (laffs) DID YOU GIT (laffs) DID YOU GIT THE NUMBER OFF THAT WILDCAT THAT RUNNED Y’ALL DOWN? (long laffs) I CAINT BLEEVE U OF SMELL IS STILL IN BIDNIZ. USUALLY WHEN SOMEBODY SUFFERS A TRAGEDY LIKE THAT, THE NATIONAL GUARD AND THE RED CROSS COME IN TO CHECK FOR SURVIVORS. (laffs) DID THEY DEE-CLARE LOSERVILLE A DISASTER AREA OR A LOST CAUSE? (laffs) LITTLE BOY PADGETT GOT WHOOPED SO BAD HIS PARENTS GOT ARRESTED. (gaffs) WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS YOU CARDINAL FRAUDS GONNA CHEER FOR NOW? EVEN THE N.I.T. DON’T WANT YOU! (laffs) I HEAR TELL Y’ALL CHANGING THE SCHOOL COLORS FROM RED & BLACK TO ALL-BLACK.
The Beasman promises that Santy Claus gonna bring a big ‘ol beatdown to U of Smell
radio sketch, Tuesday, December 19, 2017 THE BEASMAN wisdom teeth drugs (laffs) HEY LARRY! I JUST WATCHED THAT VIDEO OF THE GIRL WHO’S ALL HIGH AFTER GITTIN HER WISDOM TOOTHS TOOK OUT. SHE STARTS CRYING WHEN HER MAMA TELLS HER SHE GOES TO U OF SMELL AND SO SHE SAYS “GO CATS…Ls DOWN!” (laffs) SHE IS ASHAMED SHE HAD TO GO TO U OF SMELL FOR GRADUMAGATE SCHOOL. (laffs) THAT MADE ME LAFF REAL HARD, LARRY. when I found out I go to Louisville after getting my wisdom teeth out ?? pic.twitter.com/kcxdOGsiDV— Haley Tye (@_haykathryn) December 15, 2017 EVEN WITHOUT HER WISDOM TEEF, SHE IS SOMEONE STILL VERY WISE. (laffs) IT JUST
The Beasman is ready to smackdown Northwestern Airlines after smashing the Cardinal crybabies
THE BEASMAN cats bowl and cards lose GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! DOUBLE DIPPIN’ WILDCATS ON DEE-CEMBER 29, CAT FANS! TWO BIG BLUE BLOWOUTS IN ONE DAY! WE GONNA DESTROY THE CRIMINAL CARDINAL BIRDS AT 1 O’CLOCK AND THEN LATER THE STOOPS TROOPS GONNA PUT A SMACKDOWN ON ONE OF THEM DIE-RECTIONAL COLLEGES…SOMETHIN CALLED THE NARTHWESTERN. AIN’T THAT A AIRLINE? ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GIT TO DRIVE TO NASHVILLE FOR OUR BO GAME BUT THE DIRTY BIRDS GOT TO GIT ALL THE WAY TO FLARIDER FOR THEIRS…WHERE THEY GONNA LOSE TO ANOTHER S.E.C. SCHOOL. AND THEN BOBBY PETRINKO GONNA GIT FIRED NO MATTER IF
The Beasman don’t wanna live in a world where his Cats lose to them Dirty Birds
THE BEASMAN cats lose (1) (crying) I HOPE YOU DIE SOON, LARRY. (crying) I HEAR YOU A-S-S-S-S-SMIRKIN BOUT U UH KAY’S P-P-P-PAIN. ONLY A LOWDOWN, TOOTHLESS, B-B-B-B-BRAINLESS U OF SMELL SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO THUG LIKE YOU HAS THE AUDACERATION TO MOCK US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WHILE WE IS DOWN. (crying) YOU SUCK, LARRY. (crying) POOR LITTLE WILDCAT KIDS COULDN’T GO BACK TO SCHOOL THIS MARNIN CUZ THEY’S DEE-PRESSED. (crying) MOST OF THE GROWED UP WILDCAT FANS BEEN DRUNK SINCE HALFWAY THROUGH THE THIRD QUARTER WHEN WE ALL LEFT THE STADIUM TO CRY IN THE PARKIN’ LOT. (crying) NOBODY BURNT UP NO COUCHES. NOBODY GOT TO SPRAYPAINT CUSS WORDS ON THE SIDE OF
The Beasman: BBN prays for U of Smell shoe pimp indictments
THE BEASMAN more indictments HEY LARRY, DID ANY OF YOUR U OF SMELL CARDINAL BUDDIES GIT INDICTED TODAY? (laffs) THE DAY AIN’T OVER YET! (laffs) WHY DON’T YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF, LARRY? YOUR CARDINAL PROGRUM IS IN ASHES. THE U OF SMELL DUMPSTER FIRE AIN’T NEVER GONNA GO OUT CUZ THE NC2A IS A-COMIN WITH THE DEATH PENALTY! DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAATH PENALTY! (laffs) I LOVE IT! I SEEN THEY INDICTED CHUCK PERSON FOR ALL THAT SHOE PIMP MONEY BRIBERY STUFF. AND THEY GOT THAT FANCY SUIT MAN, TOO. YOU AND ALL YOUR CARDINAL BUDDIES IS HOPIN THAT THE SUIT MAN IS GONNA TURN ON HIS CLIENTS CONNECTED TO U UH KAY
The Beasman: UK losses don’t matter as long as there is joy in U of Smell’s misery
radio sketch, Monday, November 6, 2017 SHUT YER SNAGGLE TOOTH MOUTH, LARRY MINNER. DON’T MATTER IF U UH KAY BLOWED THAT FOOTBAW GAME WITH 5 SECONDS LEFT. DON’T MATTER IF OUR PUNTER GOT ARRESTED FOR D.U.I. DON’T MATTER IF COACH CAL DON’T WIN IT ALL EVER MARCH MADNESS. ALL US GOOD CLASSY CAT FANS IS STILL ENJOYIN U OF SMELL HELL. AS LONG AS THE NC2A IS COMIN WITH THE CARDINAL DEATH PENALTY, AIN’T NOTHIN BUT LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IN THE AIR FOR KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS! (laffs) EVER DAY IS ANOTHER U OF SMELL TRAGEDY. Y’ALL TRYIN TO ACT LIKE IT’S ALL GOOD NOW AND Y’ALL JUST GONNA ZIPPITY DO DAH ALONG LIKE YOU AIN’T
The Beasman: Big Boo Nation loves Halloween every day in Loserville
The Beasman air date: 10.31.17 BOOOOOOO! BOOOOOO! GLOOOOOOOM & DOOOOOOOM IS ALL AROUND LOSERVILLE, THE LITTLE BROTHER WHO FEARS BIG BOO NATION! (laffs) Y’ALL DON’T NEED NO HAUNTED HOUSE CUZ U OF SMELL IS LIVIN IN IT EVER DAY! ALL THEM SKEERED FACES ON EVER CARNER AS THEY WAIT THE NC2A GRIMMMMMMM REAPER. GRIM REAPER DONE COME FOR SLICK RICK AND TOMMY TURTLENECK AND NOW HE’S A-COMIN FOR THAT FAKE NEWS CHAMPERCHIP BANNER! TAKE IT DOWN! TAKE IT DOWN! (laffs) THIS HERE IS A SAD HALLER-WEEN FOR YOU, AINT IT LARRY? MEMBER THAT CHARLIE BROWN TV CARTOON WHERE HE GOES TRICK-OR-TREATIN AND EVER TIME HE LOOKS IN HIS BAG HE SAYS “I GOT A ROCK.”
The Beasman revels in UofL’s misery, hopes Larry Minner gets fired and replaced by Matt Jones
The Beasman has been giggling for three weeks as he watches UofL's meltdown continue. Rick's gone and now Tommy J has been voted out. Could a three-fer bring the end of the Larry Minner show with Matt Jones finally landing on WHAS? Sorry, little buddy. Hold that cardboard box for at least one more week. Matt Jones and Tony Vanetti are still lawyering up to answer claims by groupies that they like to watch each other shower.