THE BEASMAN u of smell still winning I AINāT NO SWISHY BOY BUT THAT BRAD PITT FELLER LOOKED DELICIOUS ON THE OSCARS LAST NIGHT. (laffs) I TURNT IT ON CUZ THE TV GUIDE SAID OSCARS SHOW SO I FIGGERED IT WAS OSCAR COMBS TAWKIN ABOUT OUR BELOVED KENTUCKY WILDCATS. (laffs) BUT THAT BRAD PITT MAYBE OUGHT TO BE THE NEXT COACH OF THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS SO ALL THE LADIES WILL KEEP BUYIN OVERPRICED RUMP ARENER SEASON TICKETS TO WATCH OUR NOT-EVEN-IN-THE-TOP-16 CATS! DEAR GOD, WHY YOU GOTTA HAVE THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS JUST PLAYIN MEDIA-OCRE? LIFE AINāT NO FUN WHEN U UH KAY AINāT RANKED TOP 5 AND NICK DICKS RICHARDS AINāT WORTHY OF BEIN A TOP TIN SINNER IN COLLEGE BASKETBAW!
Tag: the beasman
Bad Dreams Beasman: are the Cats out of their nine lives?
THE BEASMAN u of smell happy times (cry) THIS HERE IS A NIGHTMARE TIME FOR US KENTUCKY WILDCATS! (cry) COACH CAL SUCKS AND U UH KAY ONLY GOT 8 SUPERSTARS AND WE CAINT BEAT SUCKY AUBURN! (cry) HOW COME WE DONāT GOT 15 MACK-DONNER ALL-AMERICOS? (cry) NOBODY TAWKIN UP BIG BLUE NATION BUT ERRBODY TAWKIN BOUT LAY-MAR JACKSON! (cry) IāM SICK OF HEARIN BOUT LAY-MAR IS THE GREATEST! (cry) We surprised Lamar Jackson with a special video right after he won MVP.His reaction is everything. @lj_era8 pic.twitter.com/VzeVLjBqcq— NFL (@NFL) February 2, 2020 AND THEN YOU GOT THE BALDY MACK WINNIN STREAK FOR U OF SMELL BASKETBAW AND U OF SMELLāS #1 FAN BILL MURRAY IN THE SUPER BO COMMERCIAL. HOW COME
Cats are winning, Cal’s tires aren’t spinning, and The Beasman’s grinning
THE BEASMAN cats beat vandersmelt AWWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) I BET YOU AND ALL YOUR STINKY U OF SMELL BUDDIES WAS TURNIN CARTWHEELS WHEN U UH KAY WAS LOSIN BY 10 TO VANDERSMELT! ADMIT IT, YOU BALD HAIRED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, CROSS EYED TRAITOR TURNCOAT! YOU WANTED U UH KAY TO LOSE IN WHAT-WE-NOW-CALL RUMP ARENER CENTRAL BANK. (laffs) Highlights from a Wednesday night win š„ā¤µļø#BBN #TGT pic.twitter.com/pl9ELW5TGS— Kentucky Basketball (@KentuckyMBB) January 30, 2020 BUT NAWWWā¦YOU FILTHY CARDINAL FANS HAD TO SET THERE AND WATCH THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS TOY WITH VANDERSMELT AND THEN COME BACK AND WHOOP āEM GOOD! (laffs) CUZ WEāS THE CATS! WEāS THE BIG BLUE! AINāT NO VANDERSMELT EGGHEADS GONNA BEAT NO
Cats climb back into contention with Nick Dicks and Kissin’ Cal thrilling The Beasman
THE BEASMAN cats is back GUNS UP! Ls DOWN! GUNS UP! Ls DOWN! (laffs) OH LARRY, US TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS KNOW HOW TO MOCK OUR OPPONENTS WITH HAND JIVE! (laffs) DID YOU SEE HOW OUR GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT PLAYERS WAS MOCKIN THEM TEXAS TECH LOUDMOUTHS? WE TOOK THEIR āGUNS UPā HAND SIGN AND FLIPPED IT DOWN JUST LIKE WE DO TO U OF SMELL! SO NOW ITāS GUNS DOWN AND Ls DOWN! (laffs) I LOVE IT! THE CATS WON BIG ON THE ROAD SHOWIN THEM TEXAS COWBOYS THEY JUST A BUNCH OF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN GIRLS! (laffs) OUR KENTUCKY PLAYERS WAS A-MOCKIN THAT CROWD DOIN THE GUNS DOWN SIGN! (laffs) I LOVE IT! YOU CAINT GIT
The Beasman has the winter blues, the right color for a crazed UK fan
THE BEASMAN sick of everthang IāM GLAD ITāS THE WEEKEND, LARRY MINNER, CUZ THIS HERE WEEK SUCKED REAL BAD. U OF SMELL KEEPS WINNIN WHILE OUR KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS STILL LOOKIN LIKE THEYāS IN QUICKSAND HALF THE DADGUM TIME. COACH CAL KEEPS SAYINā THE U UH KAY BASKETBAW PLAYERS IS YOUNG AND THEY IS GITTIN BETTER BUT I CAN SEE WITH MY OWN EYES THEY AINāT! DO YāALL FISHBREATH, BEER DRINKIN, ROSARY BEAD RUBBINā CATHLICKS JUST LIE ALL THE TIME TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BETTER? COACH CAL ā HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY ā HOW COME HE LIES TO BIG BLUE NATION ALL THE TIME TAWKIN BOUT HOW WE GONNA GIT BETTER? WE DONāT! AND U OF SMELL JUST GITS
Cardinals win at Duke, Cat fans unmoved, Beasman praying for March Madness rematch with U of L
THE BEASMAN Louisville beats duke SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH ABOUT EVERBODY LOVES SEEINā LOSERVILLE BEATINā DUKE. IāM PART OF EVERBODY AND I DONāT LIKE IT ONE BIT, DADGUMMIT! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! IF BOTH TEAM BUSSES FOR DUKE AND LOSERVILLE WENT OVER A CLIFF, KENTUCKY FANS WOULD REJOICE BY BURNINā COUCHES! Ls DOWN AND DUKIES DOWN! YāALL BOTH DEVILS WHO OUGHTA BE BURNT AT THE STAKE LIKE MY GRANNYāS COUCH! THE ONLY TIME ME AND ALL MY WILDCAT BUDDIES CELLER-MABRATE IS WHEN OUR SAINTLY KENTUCKY WILDCATS BEAT DUKE! TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS GIT SICK TO THEIR STOMACHS WHENEVER LOSERVILLE GITS GOOD NEWS. U UH KAY FANS ONLY CARE ABOUT U UH KAY! GO CATS! GO BLUE!
Cats stunned again, The Beasman wants Eddie Sutton and Kenny Sky Walker to take charge, and wants iHeart to fire Larry Minner for smirking
THE BEASMAN cats lose to south caramaliner HOW COME THEY DINT FIRE YOU WHEN THEY CLEANED HOUSE THE OTHER DAY? I JUST BOUT VOMITED WHEN I HEARED YOUR GUTLESS WEASEL VOICE ON THE WH&S TODAY. WHY IS YāALL LAUGHIN BOUT STUFF TODAY? THIS HERE IS A BONER-FIED BIG BLUE NATION TRAGEDY WE GOT GOIN ON AND YāALL ON THERE MAKIN JOKES! MOST KENTUCKY KIDS COULDNāT GO TO SCHOOL DAY CUZ OF DEE-PRESSION. DOCTORS IS HANDIN OUT FREE PROZAC. KENTUCKY IS A DEE-ZASTER ZONEā¦NO JOY NOWHERE! (cry) THIS IS MORE HORRIBLE-ER THAN LOSIN TO TENNERSEE LASS YEAR. (cry) GO AHEAD AND MOCK ME, YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, CROSS-EYED, U OF SMELL BOOTLICKIN HAS BEEN NOBODY! He. Called. Game. @The__Future11
THE BEASMAN – With Lamar Jackson beaten, is Lynn Bowden Jr the next savior of the NFL
THE BEASMAN lynn bowie jr for MVP LARRREEEEEE! ALMOST EVER-THANG IS BEAUTY-FULL IN WILDCAT COUNTRY, LARRY MINNER! ITāS WILDCAT BLUE FROM SEA TO SHINY SEA! (laffs) COACH CAL AND THE CATS IS CLICKIN ON ALL CYLANTROS, HEADIN BACK TO #1. NOW ALL YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GOLD CHAIN WEARIN, NECK TATTOO LOVIN U OF SMELL LOUDMOUTHS GOT TO SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLES ABOUT LAY-MAR JACKSON! (laffs) I LOVE IT! BALL HAWK BYARD! @KB31_Era | #TENvsBAL pic.twitter.com/fyBAQroDqh— Tennessee Titans (@Titans) January 12, 2020 LAY-MAR IS A FAILURE CUZ U UH KAY WILDCAT WESLEY WOODYARD AND HIS TENNERSEE TITANS WHOOPED HIM GOOD! (laffs) BLEEVE MEā¦LAY-MAR GONNA MEMBER THE TITANS! (laffs) THEM TITANS WEAR BLUE, TOO, NOT NO FUNERAL PURPLE
The Beasman is feasting on U of Smell’s losing streak while the Cats soar
Started 2020 with a W in front of 20,396 Cats fans in @Rupp_Arena. You što see these highlights. pic.twitter.com/Ws21BDDvYo— Kentucky Basketball (@KentuckyMBB) January 4, 2020 THE BEASMAN loserville losing streak (chuckling) ZIPPITY DO DAH, ZIPPITY DAY. MY OH MY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! (laffs) LOSERVILLE GOTTA LONGER LOSIN STREAK THAN I-RANIAN GENERALS HANGIN ROUND AIRPORTS! (laffs) YāALL CANāT EVEN BEAT AN EGG! (laffs) U OF SMELL SUCKS SO BAD THAT CHRIS MACK GOT A JOB OFFER FROM ROOMBA! (laffs) YOU GOTTA LAFF AT MY FUNNY COMEDY JOKES, LARRY MINNER, CUZ AINāT NOTHIN ELSE FUNNY ON THIS PATHETIC RADIO SHOW. (laffs) HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TOP 25 PO? SOMETHIN BLUE IS ON THE RISE AND SOMETHIN RED IS JUST BOUT DEAD!
Cats lose first of three in Christmas Murderers Row – The Beasman is devastated with Loserville looming ahead.
THE BEASMAN uk loses to Utah (cry) CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED. (long cry) AINāT NO T-T-T-TRUE BLUE K-K-K-KENTUCKY FAN WANNA CELLER-MA-BRATE THE BIRTH OF J-J-J-J-J-JESUS CUZ HE IGNORED OUR WILDCAT P-P-P-PRAYERS LAST NIGHT. (long cry) THE BIG B-B-B-B-BLUE IS NOW BEIN CALLED CALāS QUITTERS. (long cry) CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED, DADGUMMIT! TAKE DOWN THE TREE. STOP SINGINā THEM FA LA LA LA LAAAAAs, AND TELL AMMER-ZON YOU WANT A REFUND ON ALL THE PRESENTS YOU BOUGHT FROM YOUR WILDCAT MAN CAVE! ITāS OVER, LARRY. COACH CAL GOTTA GO! DADGUMMIT, HEāS JUST ANOTHER SLICK-HAIRED, SMOOTH TAWKIN I-TALIAN FRAUD! WE NEED TO LET KINNY SKY WALKER BE THE HEAD COACH SO HE CAN TEACH THESE WIMPY WILDCATS HOW TO FIGHT, DADGUMMIT! WE LOST