Heavy snow falls. The solemn duty of shoveling the driveway becomes Job One. After a brutal hour of pushing away the frozen encumbrance, a drive by plow dumps another load of street snow all over your freshly cleaned private drive. What the what? It turned out the Snow Bully was my buddy The Beasman. He called me on the radio to laugh at my shoveling misery. LISTEN #GoCats #BBN #LarryMinner #NoCountLoservilleLover CATS WIN! CATS WIN! The Beasman sends a special shoutout to Ashley Judd for letting a gorilla snap her lucky wishbone so that the Cats could start winning again! đ #840WHAS For the uninitiated, University of Kentucky superfan The Beasman loves to taunt U of Smell lover Larry Minner on
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Coach Cal’s lifetime contract is sucking the life out of The Beasman
THE BEASMAN calipari lifetime contract SHUT YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH MOUTH, LARRY MINNER! I AINâT IN NO MOOD FOR JOSHINâ WITH YOU U OF SMELL BUTTKISSERS. YâALL CARDINALS CAINT SMIRK CUZ YâALL IS ON BASKETBAW PAUSE CUZ YâALL DISEASED UP WITH THE S.T.D.s. BUT AMERICA DONâT CARE! AMERICA WANTS TO SEE THEIR HERO KENTUCKY WILDCATS! TROUBLE ISâŚWE GO OUT THERE AND SUCK AGAIN! (cry) MY WILDCATS SUCK THE SUCKIEST SUCK IN THE HISTREE OF U UH KAY BASKETBAW. ITâS TRUE. BIG BLUE IS 5 AND 12 AND IT FEELS LIKE WE IS 5 AND 5 HUNDERD. (cry) I CAINT BLEEVE THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS DONE SUNK LOWERâN A SNAKEâS BELLY. AFTER LOSIN TO THEM MOONSHINE SWILLIN, SISTER KISSIN TENNERSEE HILLBILLIES, OL COACH CAL
UK was only taking a knee to mourn the team they were about to kill
THE BEASMAN cat fan uprising I KNOW THEREâS A LOT OF CRABBY CAT FANS RIGHT NOW BUT TELL âEM TO PUT COACH CALâS FURNITURE BACK IN HIS HOUSE! COACH CAL DONâT GOTTA LEAVE LEXINUN AFTER ALL CUZ U UH KAY IS WINNIN AGAIN! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! DONTRAY ALLEN IS SHOOTIN THE LIGHTS OUT AND WE GOT KREON BROOKS PLAYIN AGAIN! BIG BLUE NATION OUGHT TO BE HAPPY BUT HALF OUR GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS SAY THEY AINâT FANS NO MORE! Laurel County Sheriff and Jailer burn their UK shirts in protest of UK kneeling last game pic.twitter.com/fyy71mnSJZ â Matt Jones (@KySportsRadio) January 11, 2021 LARRY, WHY CAINT YOU TAWK ABOUT KENTUCKYâS FAN UPRISING INSTEAD OF ALL THIS DUMB WARSHINUN STUFF? COME ON,
The Beasman spray painted Coach Cal’s front door đ¨ PLAY DONTAIE
THE BEASMAN cats are just warming up (long laff) HAPPY BLUE YEAR! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! GO U UH KAY! (laff) LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! HOW DO YOU KEEP THIS JOB ON WH&S? YOU SUCK AS A RADIO GUNOUNCER AND ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT FANS WANNA LISSEN TO MATT JONES, NOT YOU, YOU CROSS-EYED, DUMBER-THAN-A-TREE-STUMP WILDCAT WANNABE! (laff) TWUNNY TWUNNY ONE IS GONNA BE FUN BECAUSE THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS JUST COME BACK TO LIFE! SAY IT WITH ME, YOU BALD HAIRED U OF SMELL BUTTKISSER! AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laff) I SEEN HOW ONE OF YOUR FILTHY LOSERVILLE THUGS PAINTED ON SNITCH MCCONNELLâS FRONT DOOR âGIMME MY MONEY!â THAT SOUNDS LIKE LOSERVILLE BUMS ALWAYS WANTIN A HANDOUT FROM
THE BEASMAN: If Coach Cal doesn’t beat his Catholic Notre Dame buddies, it’s curtains from Cat fans
THE BEASMAN cats losing streak continues (cry) THIS CAINT BE CHRISTMAS TIMEâŚITâS STILL HALLER-WEEN FOR KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS. (cry) I CAINT BLEEVE WE PAY COACH CAL 9 MILLION A YEAR TO GIVE US THIS DUMPSTER FIRE! WE JUST GOT BOOT STOMPED BY A WINLESS NOBODY JARJUH TECH NERD SCHOOL! (cry) DADGUMMIT, WE IS BIG BLUE NATION! WE IS THE CATS! COACH CAL DONE MAILIN IT IN, LARRY! HE LOOKS LIKE A OLD HIPPIE FREAK WITH HIS LONG HAIR AND BEER BELLY. AND SO OUR U UH KAY WILDCAT PLAYERS IS PROLLY SNIFFIN THE POT LIKE THEIR HIPPIE HEAD COACH! DADGUMMITâŚTHE WILDCAT TRAIN DONE RUN OFF THE TRACKS! THE CATS IS MAKIN MORE TURNOVERS THAN BETTY CROCKER. THAT BIG TRANSFER FELLERâŚOLIVER SARRâŚHEâS OLIVER SORRY!
WE WANT BAMA! cried The Beasman ahead of a Crimson Tide beatdown of the Cats
THE BEASMAN we want bama WE WANT BAMA! WE WANT BAMA! GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! BAMA IS GOIN DOWN! BAMA AINâT NOBODY! THEY BUSPOSABLY IS RANKED NUMBER ONE BUT AMERICA AINâT SEEN WHAT KENTUCKY CAN DO YET! WE IS BRINGIN THE PAIN TRAIN TO TUSCALOOSER! (laffs) WE IS KENTUCKY! WEâS THE BIG BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE DONE PUT A WHOOPIN ON THEM SMARTY PANTS VANDERSMELT NERDS BUT WE DINT USE NONE OF OUR GOOD PLAYS. NAWâŚWE SAVIN THEM FOR BAMA CUZ STOOPS KNOWS WHEN WE BEAT BAMA THEN WE IS #1! (laffs) WE GONNA CRUSH SABANâS SISSIES BY USIN TWO QUARTERBACKS, THE ONE WHO CAN RUN DOWN LOW AND THE ONE WHO CAN PASS SETTIN UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!
Blue Gets In! Blue Gets In! Blue Gets In! Yeah, not this time.
âWhen is the draft? When is the combine? ⌠Will there even be a draft?ââ@UKCoachCalipari on preparing his players for the NBA Draft amid uncertainty pic.twitter.com/bVIZHxNTNZ— ESPN (@espn) March 12, 2020 THE BEASMAN blue donât git in (cry) I AINâT BEEN ABLE TO GIT OUTTA BED, LARRY MINNER. (cry) NAWWW, I AINâT GOT THE CRONY VIRUS LIKE ALL THE OTHER OLD PEOPLE. (cry) SOME MILLENNIAL PUNK SEEN ME LIMPIN OUT TO THE MAILBOX AND SHOUTED: âK. O., BOOMER!â (cry) BUT I AINâT GOIN DOWN TO NO CRONY VIRUS LIKE SOME CITY SISSY. (cry) BUT I COULD CROAK FROM A BROKEN HEART. MY BIG BLUE NATION GOT SHUT DOWN AT TOURNEYMINT TIME, DADGUMMIT! IâM JUST SO TORE UP ABOUT THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS
That other Tennessee tornado took down the Kentucky Wildcats
THE BEASMAN cats lose senior night to tennessee SHUT YOUR UGLY CARDINAL FACE RIGHT NOW CUZ I KNOW YOU IS SMIRKIN RIGHT NOW! ADMIT IT, LARRY MINNER! YOU AND YOUR OTHER CROSS-EYED, BALD HAIRED, STINKBREATH, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE STAMP, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, LIBRUL DEMMERCRAT LOSERVILLE CARDINAL FANS IS ALL JUST HA-HA-HA-in ABOUT AMERICAâS TEAM, THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS LOSIN SENIOR NIGHT IN RUMP ARENER TO NOBODY TENNERSEE. (cry) THIS HERE IS (cry) THIS ONE (cry) THIS HERE A-BOMM-ER-A-SHUN IS THE WORST KENTUCKY BASKETBAW MOMENT OF COACH CALâS TIME HERE. (cry) DADGUMMIT, THE GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCATS WAS UP BY 17 AND THEN, SOMEHOW, COACH CAL FORGOT HOW TO COACH! WHY IS WE PAYIN YOU 7 MILLION A YEAR IF
Bracketology is for morons, the Beasman finds Cats climbing, U of Smell sliming
THE BEASMAN cats still rolling YOU CAN TAWK ALL YOU WANT ABOUT STOOPID BRACKER-TOLLER-GEE PUTTIN U UH KAY AT A 4 SEED BUT THATâS JUST HOGWARSH. THE CATS IS ON THE RISE AND THEY GONNA BE A #1 SEED TWO WEEKS FROM NOW AFTER WE WIN THE S.E.C. TOURNEYMINTâŚAGAIN! (laffs) LOSERVILLE SUCKUPS LIKE YOU, LARRY MINNER, NEEDS TO CHECK THE NEW PO! (laffs) THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS LIKE JARGE JEFFERSON. (sing) WELL WEâRE MOVIN ON UP! MOVIN ON UP! TO A DEE-LUXE #1 SEED ON THE EAST SIDE! (laffs) I LOVE IT! ALL THEM OTHER FRAUDS LOST: BYE BYE GONZAGGER, BAYLOR, AND SAN FERNANDO STATE! (laffs) YâALL JUST A BUNCH OF SWISHY BOYS! (laffs) BIG BLUE COMIN THRU IN THE
The Beasman loves Georgia Tech for crushing Cardinal dreams and giving Big Blue Nation the best Valentime EVER!
đ¨ UPSET ALERT đ¨@GTMBB takes down No. 5 Louisville! pic.twitter.com/MH3EfLwcet— ACC Network (@accnetwork) February 13, 2020 THE BEASMAN Louisville loses (sing) IâM A RAMBLIN WRECK FROM JARJUH TECH AND A HECK OF AN ENGINEER! (laffs) HEY LAREEEEE! LARRY MINNER! I BEEN SINGIN THAT SONG ALL DAY LONG! (laffs) HOWâS YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, LOUDMOUTH, BEER BREATH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, SANCTUARY CITY LOSERVILLE FRAUDS FEELIN TODAY? (laffs) EVERBODY IN BIG BLUE NATION IS REEEEEEEEEAAAAAALLLL HAPPY! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (sing) IâM A RAMBLIN WRECK FROM JARJUH TECH AND A HECK OF AN ENGINEER! (laffs) ME AND MY WILDCAT BUDDIES WAS A-PULLIN REAL HARD FOR THEM JARJUH TECH TATTOOED UP ENGINEERS AND THEY COME THROUGH FOR US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS,