For University of Louisville fans and the city that benefits from its revenue and research, today's announcement of an FBI sting involving coaches and multiple recruits was as tough as it gets. UK superman The Beasman didn't miss an opportunity to revel in schadenfreude. The wide ranging probe could involve many more schools. Let's just see where all the overpriced shoes drop.
Tag: the beasman
The Beasman is still tore up about another Florida jinx game
THE BEASMAN florida curse continues (crying) LARRYā¦I CAINT TAKE IT NO MORE. STOP TAWKIN BOUT THAT GOLFER FROM LOSERVILLE AND TAWK ABOUT WHAT WE GONNA DO NOW WITH U UH KAY! (crying) IāM SO TORE UP. (crying) THE FLORIDER JINX IS CRUSHIN MY WILDCAT HEART. (crying) LITTLE WILDCAT KIDS COULDNāT GO TO SCHOOL TODAY CUZ THEYāS DEE-PRESSED. THEIR WILDCAT MOMMIES AND DADDIES STAYED HOME DRINKIN, CRYIN, AND CUSSIN THEM REFFERMARIES. (crying) IT AINāT F-F-F-FUNNY WHEN U UH KAY LOSES. ITāS ONLY FUNNY WHEN U OF SMELL IS A F-F-F-F-FAILURE. (crying) I THUNK FOR SURE WHEN THE CATS WAS UP 27-14 THAT THE 30-YEAR JINX WAS OVER. WE WAS HIGH-FIVIN AND LAUGHIN
The Beasman can’t stop laughing about Clemson trouncing UofL
THE BEASMAN cats on fire as cards fold (unaired portion of script) THEY DISSED US, LARRY! THEY DINT SHAKE OUR HANDS SO THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS HAD TO CRUSH THEIR SOUTH CARAMALINER SOULS FOR THE FOURTH TIME IN A ROW! WE ARE UK! WE ARE BIG BLUE! KENTUCKY PROUD! STOOPS TROOPS! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE LOVE US SOME KENTUCKY WILDCATS! BENNY SNELL SAID IT BEST: WE BE 3 AND OH! WE BE 3! WE BE 3! WE BE 3! I ARE A COLLEGE STUDENT! I ARE A COLLEGE STUDENT. GOOOOO BIG BLUE! BUT THE STOOPID TOP 25 PO STILL DONāT GOT NO U UH KAY IN IT. WHAT IN THE SAM HILL
The Beasman: UK pimp slaps USM while U of Smell limps past Purdue
AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! GO BIG BLUE! WE IS #1 IN FOOTBAW. COACH CAL IS #1 IN HURRICANE FUNDRAISIN. AND U OF SMELL STILL SUCKS LIKE LAST YEAR! BIG BLUE NATION RULES THE WORLD! HEY LAREEEEEEEEE! LARRY DADGUM MINNER! YOUR CARDINAL BIRDS LOOKED LIKE THEY STILL GOT THE FUMBLE-ITIS THEY HAD LASS YEAR WHEN U UH KAY BEAT āEM AND TURNT EM INTO NOBODIES. WHATāS THE MATTER WITH THEM CARDINAL CONVICTS, LARRY? DO THEY THINK THAT FOOTBAW IS A SUBPOENA OR A HAND GRENADE? AINāT NONE OF āEM WANTS TO HODE ONTO IT. LAY-MAR JACKSON WAS OK BUT THE REST OF EM SUCKED. I TELL YOU WHAT, ALL US GOOD AND
The Beasman on UK football: “They blue it again!”
FOOTBAW IS BACK AND ALL THE SMART MONEY IS ON THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS. U UH KAY IS THE FLOYD MAYWEATHER OF FOOTBAW TEAMS. WE GONNA TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT BUT IN THE END THE REFFERMARIE GONNA STOP IT CUZ THE CATS IS BEATIN YOU UP TOO BAD! I TELL YOU, LARRY, STOOPS TROOPS IS GONNA SHOCK THE WORLD. AND BIG BLUE NATION IS GONNA DOMMERATE THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS. BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! LOOK OUT, ALABAMMER. THESE HERE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GONNA JACK YOUR JAW! CATS! CATS! CATS! IT DONāT MATTER IF WE JUST LOST OUR #1 RECRUIT TO OHI-ER STATE. THAT RUM DUMMY WILL BE SORRY SOMEDAY WHEN HE
The Beasman says U of Smell is getting soccer’d into irrelevance
THE BEASMAN soccer town LARRY, WHEN YāALL GONNA HAVE ANOTHER PEPPER RALLY FOR U OF SMELL FOOTBAW? I WANNA BE THERE TO BOO MY SON-IN-LAW MIKE. DADGUMMIT, I WOULD RATHER MY DAUGHTERāS IDIOT HUSBAND TAKE A JOB AS A DRUG DEALER OR A TATTOO ARTIST BEFORE GOING BACK TO U OF SMELLā¦BUT HE DONE IT! THE MAN WHO MARRIED MY DAUGHTER IS BACK IN GHETTOVILLE WORKIN FOR THAT COMMUNIST CARDINAL BOBBY PETRINKO. IT TURNS MY STOMACH TO THINK ABOUT MY LITTLE GIRL HAVIN TO CASH FILTHY CARDINAL PAYCHECKS AND BEIN EXPOSED TO ALL THAT CRIME AND CURSIN THAT LOSERVILLE PRIDES ITSELF ON. I HOPE MY DAUGHTERāS HUSBAND DONāT REALLY WANT U OF SMELL TO WIN AND THAT HE
“The Shepherd” Beasman decides to save Larry Minner’s sinful soul
THE BEASMAN saving souls LARRY, THIS IS MY LAST PHONE CALL TO YOU EVER. AND I MEAN EVER. I DONE HAD WHAT YOU CALL A SPIRITUAL AWAKENER. YEAH. YESTERDEE IN CHURCH, MY PASTOR WAS UP THERE A-PREACHING FROM THE GOOD BOOK AND HE SAID SOMETHING LIKE: āTHE LARD SAID DONāT BE UGLY-ETH TO THE POOR OR THE DUMB ONES, FOR THEY IS ALL GODāS CHILDREN. FOR HE WHO LOOKETH DOWN HIS NOSE AT THE NITWITS WILL BE BANISHED TO HADES FOR ALL ETERNITY.ā AND I THUNK TO MYSELF, I SAID BEASMAN, YOU GOTTA STOP JOSHIN LARRY MINNER JUST CUZ HEāS A U OF SMELL SNAGGLE TOOTH BUTTKISSINā APOLOGIST. I DONāT WANNA BURN IN ETERNAL HADES JUST
The Beasman: Coach Cal’s easter egg recruit hunt
THE BEASMAN coach cal easter egg recruit hunt HEY LARRY, YOU BALD HAIRED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, CROSS EYED, SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN HAS BEEN. I HEARED YOU ON THE LECTRIC RADIO YESTERDEE TAWKIN ALL LOVEY-DOVEY TO YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK. I GUESS YāALL IS BACK IN LOVE AGAIN. I JUST ABOUT GOT THE DIA-BEET-US FROM ALL THAT SYRUPPY SWEET TAWKIN. LARRY, WHEN IS YOU GONNA GROW A PAIR AND TELL SLICK RICK TO PACK HIS BAGS AND LEAVE TOWN FOR BEIN A CRIMINAL? THE NC2A DONE SAID HE WAS A NO COUNT CHEATER AND THAT BANNER IS COMING DOWN SO YāALL NEED TO GIT OUT OF DEE-NIAL. ITāS OVER. TAKE THAT FAKE NEWS BANNER DOWN. TAKE
The Beasman’s summer love is the UofL audit
THE BEASMAN the audit of uk dominance OH, BIG WHOOPTY DO. U OF SMELL BASEBAW GOIN TO THE COLLEGE WORLD SERIOUS WHERE THE CROWD IS LESS THAN ONE TENTH OF THE BIG BLUE MADNESS CROWD. IS YāALL SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL CONVICTS REALLY GONNA ACT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT A STUPID BASEBAW GAME? ITāS NO WONDER THAT EVERBODY IN YOUR FILTHY GHETTO TOWN IS ON HEROIN CUZ GETTING HIGH IS THE ONLY WAY ANYBODY CAN SET THROUGH NINE INNINGS OF BORINGNESS. THE ONLY SPORT THAT MATTERS IN THIS STATE IS BASKETBAW AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU PENCIL NECK, BAD BREATH, CROSS EYED CARDINAL BUTT KISSER. IāD RATHER KILL MYSELF THAN HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE BASEBAW IS INNERESTIN AND THATāS HOW
The Beasman says the only way UK loses this baseball series is if nemesis referee John Higgins is the home plate umpire
THE BEASMAN baseball frenzy HEY LARRY, YOU GOT A MINUTE TO TAWK TO ME OR IS YOU STILL ON THE OTHER LINE TELLING YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND WANT TO HAVE HIS BABY? (laffs) COME ON, LAUGH A LITTLE BIT, LARRY. THIS WILL BE THE ONLY JOSHIN YOU GONNA GIT TO DO THIS WEEK CUZ YOU AND ALL YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, BEER BREATH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, RANDOM MURDERINā U OF SMELL CARDINAL FANS IS ABOUT TO GIT YOUR JOCK ROCKED BY THE BIG BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT BASEBAW TEAM! I KNOW I CALLED YOU TWO WEEKS AGO AND SAID THAT BASEBAW WAS GAY AND YāALL ONLY ACT LIKE YOU CARE āBOUT BASEBAW