radio scripts for Monday, November 28, 2016 THE BEASMAN #1 itâs over OH BOO HOO HOOOOO! KEEP CRYINâ YOUR CARDINAL TEARSâŚTHEYâRE DELICIOUS! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS! KEEP BURNIN THEM COUCHES, CAT FANS! THIS HERE IS BIGGER âEN CHRISTMAS! U UH KAY DONE SLAYED THE EVIL CARDINAL DEMONS! STEPHEN JOHNSON FOR HEISMAN! MARK STOOPS FOR S.E.C. COACH OF THE YEAR! U UH KAY WILDCATS FOR THE PLAYOFFS! BOOM WILLIAMS FOR PLAYER OF THE YEAR! AWWWW BLUE! WHITE! BLUE! WHITE! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) ITâS FINALLY OVER FOR YOU LOWDOWN, SAGGY PANTS, BACKWARDS CAP, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GANG BANG, U OF SMELL CARDINAL POSERS. YOU DONE BEEN EXPOSED BY THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! AINâT NO
Tag: rivals
Cats stun Cards 41-38 in football reversal of fortunes
It was a swagger switch no one anticipated...totally Trumpian in its scope. Ever since Donald Trump won the presidential election, the football fortunes of the University of Kentucky and University of Louisville turned in completely opposite directions. UK is soaring and UofL is imploding. Mark Stoops' Kentucky Wildcats were 25 point underdogs coming into Louisville's stadium for the regular season closer. Kentucky spent the season climbing out of its own rubble of unexpected early losses to eventually become bowl eligible. Louisville was sniffing the national championship playoffs until the Houston Cougars destroyed them last week. But at least UofL quarterback Lamar Jackson remained the prohibitive favorite to win the Heisman trophy. He even struck the pose
The Beasman can’t bear to watch UofL thrive
radio sketch, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2016, 5:40 p.m. THE BEASMAN the turnaround starts now HAS THE WORLD GONE CRAZY? U UH KAY IS ON A LOSING STREAK AND U OF SMELL IS BUILDING THE BIGGEST FOOTBAW STADIUM IN KENTUCKY. EITHER IâM HAVING A HARRIBLE NIGHTMARE OR ELSE SOMEBODY AT U UH KAY IS ASLEEP AT THE SWITCH! WAKE UP, MITCH BARNFART! WAKE UP COACH CAL! WAKE UP, MARK STOOPID! NOW I HEAR TELL THAT HOTSHOT WIDE RECEIVERS COACH WE JUST SNATCHED FROM U OF SMELL WAS ACTUALLY FIRED FROM LOSERVILLE CUZ HE SUCKS! AND HE DINT BRING LAMAR JACKSON WITH HIM! I THUNK THAT WAS THE WHOLE PLAN. MEMBER HOW COACH CAL HIRED
The Beasman don’t like losin’ to no Little Brother Loserville
THE BEASMAN first call after loss (crying) I DONâT WANNA GIT OUTTA BED, YOU BALD HAIRED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN CARDINAL FRAUD. LARRY, COME OVER HERE AND JUST HOLD MY PILLER DOWN OVER MY FACE UNTIL I STOP WIGGLIN. I KEEP THINKIN I DONâT WANNA LIVE NO MORE CUZ I CAINT STAND GITTIN MOCKED BY CARDINAL LOUDMOUTHS LIKE YOU. BUT I CALLED MY PREACHER AND HE SAID IF I COMMIT SEWER-CIDE THEN I IS GOIN TO HADES WHERE I WILL SPEND ETERNITY WITH NOTHIN BUT SINFUL, DEVIL WORSHIPPIN U OF SMELL FANS, SO I GOT TO FIGGER OUT HOW TO GO ON LIVIN. PLUS I GOT A âSPONSOR-BILITY TO ALL THE OTHER GOOD &
Rick Pitino on UK, Coach Cal, Cat fans in Yum, comparison to ’96, and whether to continue the rivalry
University of Louisville head basketball coach Rick Pitino didn't have much to say following his team's latest loss to arch-rival Kentucky, the seventh loss out of eight games since John Calipari arrived in Lexington. He needed a day to decompress and then we chatted about the game on 840WHAS Radio on Monday, December 29. Pitino didn't shy away from talking about Coach Cal, UK's potential, abundant UK fans in the KFC Yum Center, and much more. AUDIO from WHAS Radio TRANSCRIPT Pitino enjoys life away from basketball during the few weeks a year that he's not working but he has no plans to walk away from the game he cherishes. He loves his Louisville Cardinals and still honors his Kentucky coaching years with
The Beasman: Coach Cal is playing possum
radio script for Friday, March 1, 2014 -- airs at 5:45 p.m. THE BEASMAN just for men WELL LARRY MINNER, NOW THAT THE GAY MARRIAGE RAINBOW FLAG PEOPLE IS ALL RUNNING AROUND HERE CELERBRATIN, WHEN IS YOU AND SLICK RICK BUTEENO GONNA TIE THE KNOT? I KNOW YOUâS IN LOVE WITH HIM BECAUSE YOU GIT ALL STARRY-EYED WHEN THE TWO OF YOU TAWKS ON THE TELLERBISION. MATT JONES DONâT ACT LIKE A CREEPER WHEN HE SETS ON COACH CALâS LAP TO AST QUESTIONS. THEY IS PROFESSIONALS BUT YOU AND SLICK RICK ACT LIKE A COUPLE OF MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRLS AT THE ICE CREAM SHOP. I GUESS YOU TWO SWISHY BOYS IS GONNA HAVE ONE OF THEM
The Beasman is a Belieber
THE BEASMAN back from vacation I CAINT BLEEVE YOU COME BACK TO WORK, YOU SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN LOUDMOUTH LOSERVILLE LOSER. WHEN YOU WAS GONE THEM FEW DAYS AND I HEARED LOCKJAW McCRANE ON THERE I THUNK TO MYSELFâI BETCHA THEY FINALLY FIGGERED OUT THAT LARRY IS A U OF SMELL GASBAG AND THE WH&S NEEDS TO GET A FAIR AND IMPARTIAL REPLACEMENT FOR HIM. SOMEBODY LIKE MATT JONES, A GUY WHO JUST TELLS THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH IS THAT U UH K DOMMERATES AND U OF SMELL IS A MAGNET FOR THUGS. BUT NAW, MATT JONES NEVER TURNT UP. NEXT THING I KNOW, I TURNT ON THE LECTRIC RADIO AND I HEAR A VOICE THAT SOUNDS