THE BEASMAN Diablo is back GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY U UH WILDCAT FANS IS JUMPIN FOR JOY CUZ EL DIABLO IS COMIN BACK TO KENTUCKY! YEP, COACH CAL DONE GOT ON HIS HOVER BOARD AND ROAD IT ALL THE WAY TO NEW YARK TO BEG THE GREATEST BASKETBAW PLAYER WHO EVER LIVED, EL DIABLO TO COME BACK TO LEXINUN AFTER THAT STUPID DUMMY BAMBA SAID HEâS TOO SKEERED TO BE A WILDCAT. SO DIABLO SAYS TO HISSELF, HE SAYS: DO I WANNA GO TO N.B.A. HELL WITH SOME SUCKY TEAM OR DO I WANNA BE IN WILDCAT HEAVEN WITH PURDY GIRLS SWARMIN ALL OVER ME, LIVE IN A PALACE
Tag: rivalries
The boys of Summers
The University of Louisville football team hired Lexington native Mike Summers as co-offensive coordinator. He happens to be married to the Beasman's daughter. That can't sit well with his father-in-law. THE BEASMAN son-in-law traitor turncoat STOP TAWKIN ABOUT YOUR GREEN GAY BUTT PACKERS. AINT NOBODY CARES HERE IN WILDCAT COUNTRY! I BEEN PUKIN UP BLOOD EVER SINCE SAIRDEE, DADGUMMIT, AND IT AINâT CUZ YOUR FLUNKY U OF SMELL LOSERVILLE LITTLE BROTHERS BEAT THE DOOKIES. U UH KAY DONâT CARE ABOUT SLICK RICKâS HAS BEENS. NAW, US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS AINâT AFRAID OF NO BROKEBACK DUKE COACH SHIT-SHETSKI THE FOULMOUTH REFEREEâS PET. U UH KAY CAN BEAT DUKE BY A LOT MORE THAN YOUR SAGGY PANTS,
Cards top Cats 73-70 guaranteeing Blue Christmas
UofL played a terrific game against a talent-heavy Kentucky squad, relieving pressure on what's been a lopsided rivalry. Big win for Louisville. Great night for Quentin Snider & Deng Adel vs UK's vaunted guard tandem of Malik Monk and De'Aaron Fox. My radio buddy The Beasman isn't happy about his Cats, his Coach, or his Christmas. Along with Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson, Louisville Ballard alum Quentin "Q" Snider both became the toasts of the holiday season on Planet Red. One little Q down in Louville knew... this Christmas would not be blue#L1C4 pic.twitter.com/RqR8d6Eqn2— Terry Meiners (@terrymeiners) December 22, 2016 THE BEASMAN cats lose to cards (sad with sniffles) MAYBE COACH CAL SHOULDA STOLE YOUR PLAYBOOK, YOU BUNCH OF CROSS-EYED, TWO-BIT, GOD-HATIN
Hoosier doozy
The Indiana Hoosiers beat the Kentucky Wildcats 73-67 in the second round of the NCAA Tournament, a very rare early departure for UK. Kentucky coach John Calipari was gracious in defeat, telling Indiana coach Tom Crean "I'm happy for you." Crean has been pilloried by IU fans in recent years for what they consider slow progress. 2015 gave us Crying Piccolo GirlNow, 2016 gives us...Crying Saxophone Girl. pic.twitter.com/f6x9ZRBOlp— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) March 19, 2016 A member of the UK band is the early frontrunner for Meme Queen of the Tournament The Crying Jordan meme was quickly pressed into service... ...generating bitterness from some sensitive UK fans. Louisville fans are reveling in schadenfreude, or enjoying the misery of others. Kentucky fans have
UK – either beasts of the east or Hoosier meat
THE BEASMAN cats vs hoosiers SHUT YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH MOUTH ABOUT U UH KAY GONNA HAVE TO PLAY THEM NASTY INJIANNER HOOSIER DADDIES. WE AINâT AFRAID OF NO TOM CREAM AND YOGI THE BEAR. THEM INJIANNER FANS IS A BUNCH OF COURT STORMINâ LITTLE BROTHERS WHO WISH THEY WAS KENTUCKY. BRING âEM ON, DADGUMMIT. U UH KAY OPENS AGAINST THE STONEYBROOK THEATER USHERS AND INJIANNER GOT CHATTERNOOGA CHOO CHOO. SO WE IS BOTH GONNA WIN. LETâS GO AHEAD AND PLAY A DOUBLEHEADER THURSDEE NIGHT AND GIT IT OVER WITH. BIG BLUE NATION CAN SEND THEM INJIANNER OLD TIMEY CANDY STRIPER SISSIES PACKIN FOR HOME ON OPENIN NIGHT. U UH KAY GONNA WIN
The Beasman is back on his payphone, savoring UofL’s scandals
THE BEASMAN rofl scandals 12/11/15 HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! WHAT KIND OF SCANDAL IS U OF SMELL DENYING TODAY? (laffs) âHEY DONâT WORRY ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO GIVE MONEY TO U OF SMELLâŚ.THE FBI INVESTERGATES ALL SCHOOLSâŚNOTHING TO SEE HEREâŚKEEP SENDING IN YOUR CHECKS.â YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, IDIOT U OF SMELL FANS IS REAPING WHAT YOU SOW WHEN YOU HIRE SCALAWAGS LIKE SLICK RICK, TOMMY TURTLENECK, AND BOBBY PETRINO. THEY IS PAYIN THEIRSELFS MILLIONS WITH YOUR DONATIONS AND THEN HIRING CRIMINALS FOR STEALING MORE MONEY OR BUYING PROSTERTUTES OR HAVING AFFAIRS WITH SOME SKANK. U OF SMELL IS A SOAP OPRY, CALL IT âALL MY SCANDALS,â AND YâALL COULD
Countdown to beatdown
radio script - 5:45 p.m. - Monday, June 16, 2014 THE BEASMAN casey kasem YOUR DEE-MISE IS COMING, LARRY MINNER. YOU CAN START THE CASEY KASEM TOP 40 LAST DAYS OF LARRY MINNER RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MATT JONES IS BACK! YEAH! IT WAS LIKE CHRISTMAS MARNINâ THIS MARNIN WHEN I TURNT ON THE LECTRIC RADIO TO HEAR âTHE VOICE OF U UH KAYâ MISTER MATT JONES BACK ON THE RADIO TAWKIN SMACK TO U OF SMELLERS AND PUMPIN UP U UH KAY FAITHFUL FOR THE ROAD AHEAD. OF COURSE YOU PROBLEE DONâT EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD FAITHFUL, LARRY MINNER, CUZ YOU DONE CROSSED OVER TO THE DARK SIDE OF U OF SMELL CARDINAL CRIMINAL
The Beasman is a Final Four fanboy
WHAS radio script, Friday, April 4, 2014, 5:45 p.m. THE BEASMAN final four THOSE WERENâT NO THUNDERSTARMS YOU HEARD ALL NIGHT â THAT WAS GOD JUMPING UP AND DOWN BUCITED ABOUT HIS KENTUCKY WILDCATS BACK IN THE FINAL FOUR. DADGUMMIT, ITâS ABOUT TIME THE MAN UPSTAIRS DONE SET THINGS RIGHT AGAIN. HE LISTENED TO THE PRAYERS OF GOOD LITTLE WILDCAT BOYS AND GIRLS AND HE SAID, âWELL, I GUESS I DONE TAUGHT EM HOW TO BE HUMBLE WITH ROBERT MORRIS LAST YEAR AND THEN NOT LETTING EM HAVE THE FARDY AND OH THEY THUNK WAS A SURE THANG. OK, NOW THEY CAN DOMMERATE AGAIN.â THANK YOU, GOD. US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WONâT GIT ARROGANT NEVER AGAIN.
They’ve had a tweak to repair for this
radio script: 4:45 p.m., Friday, March 14, 2014 THE BEASMAN fear the tweak FEAR THE TWEAK, LARRY! FEAR THE TWEAK! THE ALL-NEW U UH KAY WILDCATS IS GONNA COME OUT THERE IN A LITTLE WHILE AND DOMMERATE WITH THE TWEAK. COACH CAL SAYS WE GONNA SEE THE TWEAK RIGHT AWAY AND WE GONNA BE AMAZED AT HOW SIMPLE BUT GENIUS IT IS. GO BIG BLUE! BEAT THEM L.S.LOSERS. NOWâS WHEN THE REAL FARDY AND OH TEAM SHOWS UP TO BE FARDY AND NINE! COACH CAL DONE TWEAKED THE CATS PERFECT AND NOW WE IS GONNA BEAT LSU WORSE THAN U OF SMELL BEAT THE RUTGERS LAST NIGHT. BUT U OF SMELL IS A
The Beasman is a Belieber
THE BEASMAN back from vacation I CAINT BLEEVE YOU COME BACK TO WORK, YOU SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN LOUDMOUTH LOSERVILLE LOSER. WHEN YOU WAS GONE THEM FEW DAYS AND I HEARED LOCKJAW McCRANE ON THERE I THUNK TO MYSELFâI BETCHA THEY FINALLY FIGGERED OUT THAT LARRY IS A U OF SMELL GASBAG AND THE WH&S NEEDS TO GET A FAIR AND IMPARTIAL REPLACEMENT FOR HIM. SOMEBODY LIKE MATT JONES, A GUY WHO JUST TELLS THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH IS THAT U UH K DOMMERATES AND U OF SMELL IS A MAGNET FOR THUGS. BUT NAW, MATT JONES NEVER TURNT UP. NEXT THING I KNOW, I TURNT ON THE LECTRIC RADIO AND I HEAR A VOICE THAT SOUNDS