THE BEASMAN cats head to sweet 16 radio sketch March 19, 2018 BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN AND RUNS OVER CRANKY OLD NUNS IF WE HAVE TO! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) HEY LAREEEEEE! LARRY MINNER! START GITTIN YOUR CLUNKER GHETTO CARS OFF THE STREETS CUZ WE GONNA HAVE A U UH KAY VICTORY PARADE IN TWO WEEKS CUZ BIG BLUE BOUT TO WIN IT ALL! PAINT YOUR DOG BLUE AND HEAD SOUTH…KENTUCKY IS HEADED TO THE SWEET 16 IN THE BIG DANCE TO BEAT LITTLE BROTHER KANSAS NOBODY STATE. AND THEN COACH CAL GOTTA GO AGAINST HIS CATHLICK HERITAGE AND WHOOP UP ON THAT HOMELY
Tag: radio sketch
The Beasman: Virginny brings misery on Main Street to Suckville
THE BEASMAN va shocks Louisville - radio sketch Friday, March 2, 2018 (laffs) I’M STILL LAUGHIN ABOUT THE VIRGINNY GUY HITTING THE THREE AT THE BUZZER TO BEAT LOSERVILLE. OH LARRY. (laffs) YOU GOT TO ADMIT THAT WAS A BIGGER LONGSHOT THAN KIM JONG UN SHOOTIN A NUKE-U-LAR MISSILE AND HITTIN THE STATUE OF LIBERTY RIGHT ON THE HEAD. (laffs) ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WAS KINDA HOPIN Y’ALL WOULD BEAT VIRGINNY SO WE COULD SAY WE BEAT Y’ALL BY 30 AND Y’ALL BEAT #1 SO THAT MEANS KENTUCKY IS THE BEST. (laffs) BUT THAT’S OK…IT WAS STILL FUN WATCHIN ALL THEM SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL FANS CRY THEIR CROCKER-DOW TEARS THINKIN THEY
The Beasman can’t believe God killed Billy Graham and Coach Cal in the same week
THE BEASMAN radio sketch for February 23, 2018 (cries) LIES! LIES! LIES! (cries) I DON'T KNOW HOW Y'ALL SCUMBAG CARDINAL BIRDS DONE IT, BUT THIS WHOLE THANG ABOUT U UH KAY PLAYERS GITTIN PAID OFF AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A BIG OL LIE! (cries) DADGUMMIT! U OF SMELL MUST HAVE A DOUBLE NAUT SPY WORKING AT THE FBI AND SO NOW Y'ALL GONNA TRY TO DRAG THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS DOWN IN THE MUCK WITH YA. MISERY LOVES COMPANY BUT BIG BLUE NATION DON'T WANNA BE YOUR COMPANY, YOU BUNCH OF CHEATIN, LYIN, PROSTERTUTE BUYIN THUGS! (cries) DADGUMMIT, ALL US CAT FANS WAS HAVIN SUCH A GREAT TIME LAUGHIN
Cats losing streak ends so now UK fans are free to resume taunting others
THE BEASMAN cats now righteous WELL CARDINAL BOY, THE WORLD DONE GOT BACK ON ITS AXLE. Y’ALL SUCK AGAIN AND THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS DOMMERATED ALABAMMER. SO THE STREAK IS DEAD AND GONE AND US CAT FANS IS BACK TO TAUNTIN LOSERS LIKE YOU. PLUS, COACH CAL DON’T GOTTA MOVE INTO BILLY CLYDE’S BASEMENT AND THE REST OF COLLEGE BASKETBAW TEAMS IS A-SHAKIN IN THEIR BOOTS KNOWIN THAT THE CATS IS GITTIN READY TO CRUSH EVER FOOL IN THEIR WAY OF THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS. MEANTIME, U OF SMELL GOT CRUSHED LIKE A BUG BY NARTH CARAMALINER, A SCHOOL THAT’S SMART ENOUGH TO INTIMERDATE THE NC2A FROM GIVIN EM NO PENALTIES. THEM TURD HEELS SLAPPED THE CARDINAL CONVICTS LIKE
Cats continue losing streak as The Beasman wants Sky Walker to replace Cal
THE BEASMAN cats losing streak I HATE YOU AND EVERTHANG YOU STAND FOR, YOU CROSS EYED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, LYIN, TRAITOR TURNCOAT, USED TO BE A WILDCAT BUT NOW YOU IS A PHONEY BLONEY, SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN CARDINAL FRAUD. (cry) COACH CAL SAYS AINT NO CRYIN ON THE YACHT, BUT DADGUMMIT, THE YACHT IS SINKIN! DOES THE WATER GOTTA GIT TO MY NECK BEFORE I START CRYIN? (cry) I CAINT BLEEVE MY PRECIOUS KENTUCKY WILDCATS DONE LOSTED THREE IN A ROW AND EIGHT GAMES ALL SEASON. DADGUMMIT, COACH CAL IS THE NEW TEN LOSS TUBBY. (cry) MAYBE COACH CAL IS CRAZY WITH THE FLU AND AIN’T IN HIS RIGHT MIND. HE SAYS THE WILDCATS
The Beasman promises that Santy Claus gonna bring a big ‘ol beatdown to U of Smell
radio sketch, Tuesday, December 19, 2017 THE BEASMAN wisdom teeth drugs (laffs) HEY LARRY! I JUST WATCHED THAT VIDEO OF THE GIRL WHO’S ALL HIGH AFTER GITTIN HER WISDOM TOOTHS TOOK OUT. SHE STARTS CRYING WHEN HER MAMA TELLS HER SHE GOES TO U OF SMELL AND SO SHE SAYS “GO CATS…Ls DOWN!” (laffs) SHE IS ASHAMED SHE HAD TO GO TO U OF SMELL FOR GRADUMAGATE SCHOOL. (laffs) THAT MADE ME LAFF REAL HARD, LARRY. when I found out I go to Louisville after getting my wisdom teeth out ?? pic.twitter.com/kcxdOGsiDV— Haley Tye (@_haykathryn) December 15, 2017 EVEN WITHOUT HER WISDOM TEEF, SHE IS SOMEONE STILL VERY WISE. (laffs) IT JUST
The Beasman is ready to smackdown Northwestern Airlines after smashing the Cardinal crybabies
THE BEASMAN cats bowl and cards lose GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! DOUBLE DIPPIN’ WILDCATS ON DEE-CEMBER 29, CAT FANS! TWO BIG BLUE BLOWOUTS IN ONE DAY! WE GONNA DESTROY THE CRIMINAL CARDINAL BIRDS AT 1 O’CLOCK AND THEN LATER THE STOOPS TROOPS GONNA PUT A SMACKDOWN ON ONE OF THEM DIE-RECTIONAL COLLEGES…SOMETHIN CALLED THE NARTHWESTERN. AIN’T THAT A AIRLINE? ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GIT TO DRIVE TO NASHVILLE FOR OUR BO GAME BUT THE DIRTY BIRDS GOT TO GIT ALL THE WAY TO FLARIDER FOR THEIRS…WHERE THEY GONNA LOSE TO ANOTHER S.E.C. SCHOOL. AND THEN BOBBY PETRINKO GONNA GIT FIRED NO MATTER IF
The Beasman: BBN prays for U of Smell shoe pimp indictments
THE BEASMAN more indictments HEY LARRY, DID ANY OF YOUR U OF SMELL CARDINAL BUDDIES GIT INDICTED TODAY? (laffs) THE DAY AIN’T OVER YET! (laffs) WHY DON’T YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF, LARRY? YOUR CARDINAL PROGRUM IS IN ASHES. THE U OF SMELL DUMPSTER FIRE AIN’T NEVER GONNA GO OUT CUZ THE NC2A IS A-COMIN WITH THE DEATH PENALTY! DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAATH PENALTY! (laffs) I LOVE IT! I SEEN THEY INDICTED CHUCK PERSON FOR ALL THAT SHOE PIMP MONEY BRIBERY STUFF. AND THEY GOT THAT FANCY SUIT MAN, TOO. YOU AND ALL YOUR CARDINAL BUDDIES IS HOPIN THAT THE SUIT MAN IS GONNA TURN ON HIS CLIENTS CONNECTED TO U UH KAY
The Beasman: UK losses don’t matter as long as there is joy in U of Smell’s misery
radio sketch, Monday, November 6, 2017 SHUT YER SNAGGLE TOOTH MOUTH, LARRY MINNER. DON’T MATTER IF U UH KAY BLOWED THAT FOOTBAW GAME WITH 5 SECONDS LEFT. DON’T MATTER IF OUR PUNTER GOT ARRESTED FOR D.U.I. DON’T MATTER IF COACH CAL DON’T WIN IT ALL EVER MARCH MADNESS. ALL US GOOD CLASSY CAT FANS IS STILL ENJOYIN U OF SMELL HELL. AS LONG AS THE NC2A IS COMIN WITH THE CARDINAL DEATH PENALTY, AIN’T NOTHIN BUT LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IN THE AIR FOR KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS! (laffs) EVER DAY IS ANOTHER U OF SMELL TRAGEDY. Y’ALL TRYIN TO ACT LIKE IT’S ALL GOOD NOW AND Y’ALL JUST GONNA ZIPPITY DO DAH ALONG LIKE YOU AIN’T
GIDDY CITY – The Beasman & Cat fans bask in UofL’s misery
For University of Louisville fans and the city that benefits from its revenue and research, today's announcement of an FBI sting involving coaches and multiple recruits was as tough as it gets. UK superman The Beasman didn't miss an opportunity to revel in schadenfreude. The wide ranging probe could involve many more schools. Let's just see where all the overpriced shoes drop.