THE BEASMAN whoâs coming back? HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! ITâS THAT STUPID TIME OF YEAR WHEN PEOPLE START PRE-DICTIFYING NEXT YEARâS BASKETBAW TEAMS WITH SCIENTIFIC POs. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS LOADED FOR NEXT YEAR SO YâALL U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES AINâT GOTTA PRAYER OF WHOOPIN US! (laffs) I LOVE IT! EVER YEAR, U OF SMELL IDIOTS START TAWKIN ABOUT âWAIT TIL YOU SEE NEXT YEARâS CARDINAL BIRDS TEAM!â (laffs) AND THEN U UH KAY SMASHES YOUR FACE IN AGAIN AND YâALL SNAGGLE TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GRAFITTI PAINTIN, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST CARDINAL FOOLS START CRYIN ABOUT âWAIT TIL NEXT YEAR!â (laffs) BUT THE TRUTH IS COACH CAL GOT U OF SMELLâS NUMBER.
Tag: radio parody
The Beasman: Now the heat is on with Diallo returning to UK
THE BEASMAN Diablo is back GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY U UH WILDCAT FANS IS JUMPIN FOR JOY CUZ EL DIABLO IS COMIN BACK TO KENTUCKY! YEP, COACH CAL DONE GOT ON HIS HOVER BOARD AND ROAD IT ALL THE WAY TO NEW YARK TO BEG THE GREATEST BASKETBAW PLAYER WHO EVER LIVED, EL DIABLO TO COME BACK TO LEXINUN AFTER THAT STUPID DUMMY BAMBA SAID HEâS TOO SKEERED TO BE A WILDCAT. SO DIABLO SAYS TO HISSELF, HE SAYS: DO I WANNA GO TO N.B.A. HELL WITH SOME SUCKY TEAM OR DO I WANNA BE IN WILDCAT HEAVEN WITH PURDY GIRLS SWARMIN ALL OVER ME, LIVE IN A PALACE
AUDIO: The Beasman says Coach Cal’s show was watched by more people than the Super Bowl, NBA Finals, World Series, and Kardashians combined
THE BEASMAN 30 for 30 AINT NO SECRET I BEEN SLEEPIN IN A TENT ON THE SIDEWALK OUTSIDE MEMORIAL COLLER-SEUM WAITIN ON NEXT SEASONâS MIDNIGHT MADNESS TICKETS. WELL I AINT THERE NO MORE BUT NOT MY FAULT. THEM EASTER STARMS COME RUMBLIN THROUGH HERE AND THIS COP COMES ALONG AND SAYS âBEASMAN, I CAINT LET YOU KEEP THIS TENT HERE CUZ IF A LIGHTNIN BOLT HITS THAT K-FLAG UP ON TOP YOU GONNA GIT FRIED LIKE BACON.â SO HE SENT ME HOME AND TODE ME TO COME BACK IN SEPTEMBER WHEN THEY HAND OUT THE TICKETS. SO I COME HOME AND GOT CAUGHT UP ON EVERTHANG. DADGUMMIT, I WATCHED ME THAT 30 + 30 THING ON COACH CAL
The Beasman roiled by radio renewal with WHAS
THE BEASMAN renew with rofl (airs April 28, 2016) YOU MAKE ME SICK WITH ALL YOUR U OF SMELL RAH-RAH-RAH NONSENSE, YOU BALD HAIRED, TWO BIT, TRAITOR TURNCOAT WENT-TO-U-UH-KAY-BUT-ACT-LIKE-YOU-LOVE THE CARDINAL CRIMINALS. I HEERED THE BAD NEWS. THEM RADIO RATS AT I HEART & WH&S AND THE 790-KRD DONE RENEWED THEIR VOWS WITH THE ENEMA U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS UNTIL THE YEAR TWUNNY TWUNNY TWO. ITâS DISGUSTERCATING, DADGUMMIT. WHY IN THE SAM HILL DOES KENTUCKYâS #1 RADIO STATION GIANT SIGNAL BLOW TORCH WH&S WANT TO PUMP OUT FIFTY THOUSAND WATTS OF CARDINAL CRIMINAL ACTIVITY WHEN YOU ALL COULD BE ON THERE TAWKIN UP THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS? IT DONâT MAKE NO
Nothing could be finer than beating Carolina in prime time
THE BEASMAN north carolina is in town (WHAS Radio segment, runs 4:45 PM, February 1, 2016) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LARRYâŚWHAT IS YâALL SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE CHECK, GOLD TOOTH, STRIPPER POLE, TARC BUS RIDIN, OBAMA PHONE, PROSTITUTE HIRIN U OF SMELL FRAUDS GONNA DO TONIGHT AGAINST NARTH CARAMALINER? YOU KNOW YOU GONNA GIT CRUSHED LIKE A BUG SO WHY DONâT SLICK RICK THROW IN THE TOWEL RIGHT NOW? HE SAID THE BIG MAN WAS REAL SICK THE OTHER DAY WHEN NOBODY VIRGINNY THROWED YâALL AROUND LIKE A PIT BULL CHEWIN A RAG DOLL. --------------------WHAT IN THE SAM HILL YOU THINK ROY WILLIAMS AND THE TURD HEELS GONNA DO TO YâALL TONIGHT? ITâLL PROBLEE BE A HUNDERD TO NOTHIN
It starting to look like God is not a Cats fan
THE BEASMAN uk loses again air date 12/21/15 I WISH DONALD TRUMP WOULD BAN BALD HAIRED LIARS LIKE YOU FROM BEIN IN AMERICA. YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN TRAITOR TURNCOAT TERRORIST. YOU WENT TO U UH KAY BUT YOU IS ON THE RADIO SAYIN YOU IS PULLIN FOR U OF SMELL THIS SAIRDEE. THATâS LIKE CHEERIN FOR ISIS. IS YOU SICK IN THE HEAD OR JUST STUPID? YOU IS LYIN ABOUT LOVIN U OF SMELL BECAUSE YOU IS JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK HAPPY. EVEN HE IS A SECRET WILDCAT FAN, LARRY. YOU AINâT FOOLIN NOBODY. ALL GOOD KENTUCKIANS IS FOR THE CATS BECAUSE
It’s always nice to see your name in the news, unless it is followed by “was arrested”
My friend Shannon Ragland was doing some research and found the first time my name was published in our hometown newspaper The Courier-Journal. My parents must have been so proud that they forgot to say "I saw your name in the paper, honey!" About a month after the Mick Jagger article ran, I was moved to co-host the morning show with Ron Clay. We titled our show "Morning Sickness" and it became an instant hit. The photo below shows both of us in another high-profile publicity stunt, now working for WQMF under the title "The Show With No Name."
The Beasman don’t like losin’ to no Little Brother Loserville
THE BEASMAN first call after loss (crying) I DONâT WANNA GIT OUTTA BED, YOU BALD HAIRED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN CARDINAL FRAUD. LARRY, COME OVER HERE AND JUST HOLD MY PILLER DOWN OVER MY FACE UNTIL I STOP WIGGLIN. I KEEP THINKIN I DONâT WANNA LIVE NO MORE CUZ I CAINT STAND GITTIN MOCKED BY CARDINAL LOUDMOUTHS LIKE YOU. BUT I CALLED MY PREACHER AND HE SAID IF I COMMIT SEWER-CIDE THEN I IS GOIN TO HADES WHERE I WILL SPEND ETERNITY WITH NOTHIN BUT SINFUL, DEVIL WORSHIPPIN U OF SMELL FANS, SO I GOT TO FIGGER OUT HOW TO GO ON LIVIN. PLUS I GOT A âSPONSOR-BILITY TO ALL THE OTHER GOOD &
The breathy beauty nests electronically with her former prey
Just as he would treat a nature documentary, Sir David Attenborough narrates the opening sequences to Adele's "Hello" video
2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits a hooker
Surely you have heard that the University of Louisville basketball program is mired in an alleged sex scandal. A prostitute claims that she was paid by team staff member Andre McGee to provide female escorts for players, recruits, and sometimes the fathers of recruits. If true, and if the prostitute's claims that her own underage daughters were sometimes involved, massive federal charges related to sex trafficking on a public university campus would send the sports world into a Penn State Sandusky fervor and forever stain the careers of many prominent University of Louisville leaders. Early speculation is that head coach Rick Pitino will keep his job. (I've known Pitino for 25 years and my best guess is that he