I appreciate the kindness and integrity of Matt Jones, founder of Kentucky Sports Radio. The first time I heard him on the air, I thought to myself, "There's my replacement." Matt took a group of smart, funny writers with shrewd youthful observations and launched a compelling, constantly updated University of Kentucky athletics fan site. Kentucky Sports Radio is a daily beacon of all things Big Blue Nation. The statewide radio show is hilariously provocative and informative. There's a terrific podcast. Matt's Lexington television show HEY KENTUCKY gets strong reviews. I'm happy for Matt, Ryan Lemond, Shannon the Dude, Drew Franklin, Mrs. Tyler Thompson, Turkey Hunter, and the entire crew. They've made Kentucky media sit up and notice, and they
Tag: kentucky wildcats
The Beasman is ready to smackdown Northwestern Airlines after smashing the Cardinal crybabies
THE BEASMAN cats bowl and cards lose GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! DOUBLE DIPPIN’ WILDCATS ON DEE-CEMBER 29, CAT FANS! TWO BIG BLUE BLOWOUTS IN ONE DAY! WE GONNA DESTROY THE CRIMINAL CARDINAL BIRDS AT 1 O’CLOCK AND THEN LATER THE STOOPS TROOPS GONNA PUT A SMACKDOWN ON ONE OF THEM DIE-RECTIONAL COLLEGES…SOMETHIN CALLED THE NARTHWESTERN. AIN’T THAT A AIRLINE? ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GIT TO DRIVE TO NASHVILLE FOR OUR BO GAME BUT THE DIRTY BIRDS GOT TO GIT ALL THE WAY TO FLARIDER FOR THEIRS…WHERE THEY GONNA LOSE TO ANOTHER S.E.C. SCHOOL. AND THEN BOBBY PETRINKO GONNA GIT FIRED NO MATTER IF
The Beasman on UK football: “They blue it again!”
FOOTBAW IS BACK AND ALL THE SMART MONEY IS ON THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS. U UH KAY IS THE FLOYD MAYWEATHER OF FOOTBAW TEAMS. WE GONNA TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT BUT IN THE END THE REFFERMARIE GONNA STOP IT CUZ THE CATS IS BEATIN YOU UP TOO BAD! I TELL YOU, LARRY, STOOPS TROOPS IS GONNA SHOCK THE WORLD. AND BIG BLUE NATION IS GONNA DOMMERATE THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS. BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! LOOK OUT, ALABAMMER. THESE HERE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GONNA JACK YOUR JAW! CATS! CATS! CATS! IT DON’T MATTER IF WE JUST LOST OUR #1 RECRUIT TO OHI-ER STATE. THAT RUM DUMMY WILL BE SORRY SOMEDAY WHEN HE
The Beasman: Now the heat is on with Diallo returning to UK
THE BEASMAN Diablo is back GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY U UH WILDCAT FANS IS JUMPIN FOR JOY CUZ EL DIABLO IS COMIN BACK TO KENTUCKY! YEP, COACH CAL DONE GOT ON HIS HOVER BOARD AND ROAD IT ALL THE WAY TO NEW YARK TO BEG THE GREATEST BASKETBAW PLAYER WHO EVER LIVED, EL DIABLO TO COME BACK TO LEXINUN AFTER THAT STUPID DUMMY BAMBA SAID HE’S TOO SKEERED TO BE A WILDCAT. SO DIABLO SAYS TO HISSELF, HE SAYS: DO I WANNA GO TO N.B.A. HELL WITH SOME SUCKY TEAM OR DO I WANNA BE IN WILDCAT HEAVEN WITH PURDY GIRLS SWARMIN ALL OVER ME, LIVE IN A PALACE
Wednesday is the Turd Day of the week
radio script THE BEASMAN go north caramaliner GO TURD HEELS! GO TURD HEELS! BEAT THAT VILLE! BEAT THAT VILLE! LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! I BET YOU WAS UP LATE LAST NIGHT PULLIN REAL HARD FOR MIZZOU TO UPSET THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS SO I’S JUST RETURNIN THE FLAVOR. GO TURD HEELS! GO TURD HEELS! KENTUCKY BLUE LOVES CARAMALINER BLUE TONIGHT! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GOT US A LUMPY VICTREE OVER MISS-OOR-UH LASS NIGHT BUT A WIN IS A WIN. WE’LL TAKE IT, DADGUMMIT! COACH CAL GOT A T. DE-ANDREA FOX WAS DOWN ON THE GROUND AND LOOKIN BROKE. BUT BAM AND DOM AND WILL AND MONK AND DRAKE
Hoosier doozy
The Indiana Hoosiers beat the Kentucky Wildcats 73-67 in the second round of the NCAA Tournament, a very rare early departure for UK. Kentucky coach John Calipari was gracious in defeat, telling Indiana coach Tom Crean "I'm happy for you." Crean has been pilloried by IU fans in recent years for what they consider slow progress. 2015 gave us Crying Piccolo GirlNow, 2016 gives us...Crying Saxophone Girl. pic.twitter.com/f6x9ZRBOlp— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) March 19, 2016 A member of the UK band is the early frontrunner for Meme Queen of the Tournament The Crying Jordan meme was quickly pressed into service... ...generating bitterness from some sensitive UK fans. Louisville fans are reveling in schadenfreude, or enjoying the misery of others. Kentucky fans have
#1 UK not ready for Hollywood lights
How did unranked UCLA beat #1 UK so decisively? Sports Illustrated's Gregory Habeeb explains. RADIO SCRIPT: THE BEASMAN ucla breakdown (crying) I’M BACK IN MY BED WITH THE COVERS PULT UP OVER MY HEAD, LARRY MINNER. (cry hard) IT AIN’T POSED TO BE LIKE ISS, DADGUMMIT. YESTERDEE I WAS LAUGHIN AND CARRYIN ON ABOUT HOW SLICK RICK AND THE LOSERVILLE FRAUDS GOT CLOWNED BY MICHERGAN STATE BUT TODAY THEM CALIFARNIA ILLEGAL ALIEN WELFARE MOOCHERS IS DOIN ALL THE LAFFIN BECAUSE THEY BEAT AMERICA’S TEAM, THE CATS. (cry) DON’T YOU SMIRK, LARRY MINNER. I HEAR YOU SMIRKIN. I BET YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK WAS UP ALL NIGHT LAUGHIN ABOUT UCLA WHOOPIN COACH CAL
The Pain Train – 68 teams enter the arena and 67 leave hurting
As magnificent as the 2014-15 Kentucky Wildcats looked on paper, "The Unbeatables" were beaten by the Wisconsin Badgers. Kentucky fans are in deep despair as are Kentucky retailers and UK's bottom line. But Wisconsin has fans, too. Despite Kentuckians' claims that host city Indianapolis will suffer from the evacuation of the Big Blue Mist, fans of Wisconsin and Duke have disposable income to spread around. Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers tweeted a few zingers toward teammate and former Wildcat Randall Cobb just before tipoff and early into the game. After the victory, Rodgers tweeted a simple #OnWisconsin. Gametime. #OnWisconsin Long day for @rcobb18 hopefully.— Aaron Rodgers (@AaronRodgers12) April 5, 2015 .@rcobb18 nervous bro? Good start for the red team.— Aaron Rodgers
Perfection Rejection – Kentucky loses
You'd better stay away from this guy for a few weeks. The vaunted Kentucky Wildcats basketball team lost to Wisconsin, ending a streak of 38 straight wins on a path to what seemed to be perfection. RADIO SCRIPTS FOR MONDAY, APRIL 6, 2015 THE BEASMAN #1 buy all the tickets WHY, GOD, WHY? (sniffing and crying) I AINT GOT OUTTA BED YET CUZ MY HEART DONE BEEN BROKE WHEN THE PATH TO PERFECTION WENT OVER A CLIFF. (cry) THEY TELL ME EASTER SUNDEE CHURCH SERVICES ACROSS KENTUCKY WAS LIKE A GHOST TOWN. NO CAT FANS NOWHERE. WE’S ALL SICK TO OUR BONES WITH ANOTHER FINAL FOUR MELTDOWN. I WAS BUXPECTIN TO CALL UP HERE TODAY AND MAKE FUN OF YOU
“No one will steal my joy” — John Calipari
There will be no loser edit for John Calipari. His reality of success is sealed. Following a flawless regular season of 31 wins without a hiccup, the Kentucky Wildcats have a potential nine games to complete the Path to Perfection. Coach John Calipari has his detractors and does not shy away from calling them out, even at a celebratory moment. Sports Illustrated asked if Kentucky's one-and-done format is killing college basketball. One Kentucky media member claims that Calipari privately revels in the misery of other coaches, most notably the recently admonished Jim Boeheim, a vocal critic of Cal. But most coaches have each others' backs, as Calipari illustrated in 2013 when he appeared at the Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame during the