THE BEASMAN cathlick magic POOR, POOR CARDINAL BIRDS. DONE LOST āEM THREE IN A ROW AND AINāT NO RELIEF IN SIGHT. MARCH SADNESS STARTS TOMORROW IN YOUR GHETTO TOWN WHILE THE REST OF BIG BLUE NATION GITS READY TO WIN ANOTHER CHAMPERCHIPS! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! BUT OL U OF SMELL CAINT EVEN BEAT NOBODY BOSTON BAKED BEAN COLLEGE. (laffs) TOO BAD, SO SAD! (laffs) YOU KNOW LARRY, IāD LIKE TO SAY ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS FANS IS FEELIN PITY FOR YOU LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES BUT I DONāT WANNA LIE RIGHT HERE ON THE LECTRIC RADIO. (laffs) YāALL U OF SMELL FAILURES NEED TO
Tag: college rivals
SADDEST KENTUCKY NIGHT EVER? Cats and Cards toasted at the final buzzer
COUNT IT!No. 19 LSU stuns No. 5 Kentucky ... AT THE BUZZER. #SCtop10 pic.twitter.com/M8LHpexYxV— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) February 13, 2019 THE BEASMAN uk and u of smell torched at the buzzer (cry) I AINāT HAD A WINK OF SLEEP, LARRY MINNER. (cry) IT FINE-LEE STOPPED RAININ BUT NOW THE EN-TIRE STATE OF KENTUCKY IS DROWNIN IN OUR OWN TEARS. (cry) WHY? WHY? WHY? (cry) THIS CAINT BE HAPPENIN TO US GOOD AND CLASSY BIG BLUE NATION FANS. (cry) COACH CAL GOT TO GO. HE DONE LOST THAT PRIZE REE-CRUIT TO DADGUM JARJUH ON MONDEE AND THEN THE CATS GIT JOBBED AT THE BUZZER LAST NIGHT CUZ THEM REFFERMARIES AINāT AFRAID OF COACH CAL NO MORE. (cry)
The Beasman can’t kiss Coach Cal on his 60th because only U of Smell coaches mess around
THE BEASMAN cats rolling and duke is coming for u of smell HOW YOU DOIN, LARRY MINNER? SURELY ALL YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL FANS IS COMIN UP WITH GOOD EXCUSES FOR WHY DUKE BEAT YOUR BRAINS OUT. (laffs) LARRY, YāALL NEED TO LEARN HOW TO CHEAT LIKE DUKE DOES, YOU KNOW, LIKE PAYIN OFF ZION WILLIAMSTON AND NEVER GITTIN CAUGHT LIKE YāALL DONE DID WITH BRIAN BLOWHARD. (laffs) Headed back to the Bull City like š pic.twitter.com/E02WTi9Lun— Duke Basketball (@DukeMBB) February 10, 2019 LARRY, IF YOU GONNA PAY OFF PLAYERS, AT LEAST PAY OFF THE GOOD ONES! (laffs) AST COACH CAL! HE TAKES THEIR MOMS TO CHURCH AND LETāS EM KEEP THE COLLECTION PLATE AFTER A BUNCH OF
UofL women finally beat UConn but The Beasman ain’t impressed
THE BEASMAN women beat UConn OHHHHā¦WOW! THE U OF SMELL SAGGY PANTS RAP MUSIC NECK TATTOO GIRLS WON AGAINST THE UCONN. BIG WHOOPTY DO! GIRL BASKETBAW! (laffs) IāM SO SAD FOR YOU, LARRY. I MEAN, DADGUMMIT, LISSEN TO YOURSELF. (laffs) YOU IS ON THE LECTRIC RADIO ACTIN LIKE YOU IS BUCITED ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW. (laffs) THIS HERE IS WH&S ā THE BIGGEST RADIATOR STATION IN AMERICA AND YOU IS TAWKIN ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW LIKE ITāS IMPARTANT! (laffs) GENO AEREOLA DONE SAID HIS UCONN TEAM SUCKS SO WHY YāALL ACTIN LIKE YOU DONE SOMETHIN BIGTIME? YāALL IS STILL LITTLE SISTERS. YOU AINāT AS GOOD AS THE GIRL WILDCAT TEAM. SO SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE
Cats steamroll Kansas, butthurt U of Smellers hate on purdy Wildcat girl
THE BEASMAN uk beats Kansas HEY LAREEEEE! LARRY DADGUM MINNER! I LOVE THAT PITCHER OF THE U UH KAY FAN GIRL SHOWIN Ls DOWN AT THE KANSAS GAME. (laffs) THE CURIO JOURNAL GUY PUT THAT PITCHER ON THE TWITTER AND ALL THE U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER CRYBABIES LOST THEIR MINDS CUZ A PURDY WILDCAT GIRL WAS A-MOCKIN U OF SMELL EVEN THOUGH WE WAS PLAYIN KANSAS! (laffs) DONāT YāALL CROOKED TEETH CARDINAL FANS NEVER STOP WORRYIN ABOUT THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS? (laffs) YāALL SAID SHE WAS OBSESSINā ABOUT LOSERVILLE BUT YāALL THE ONES GOT BUTTHURT. (laffs) CRY, CRY, CRY! THATāS ALL YOU LITTLE BROTHER, DUMPSTER FIRE, F.B.I. INVESTERGATION CONVICTS CAN DO CUZ YOU KNOW BIG BLUE
U of Smell pulverizes the Turd Heels, Beasman flummoxed
THE BEASMAN UofL shocks UNC WELL HOOTY HOOTY HOOā¦THE CARDINAL BIRDS CAUGHT āEM A WORM. WOW! US BIG BLUE NATION KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS REEEEAAAALY IMPRESSED THAT BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS GOT EM A BIG WIN AGAINST THEM TURD HEELS. WHAT DID YāALL DO, SEND KATINEENER POWELL TO SPEND ALL NIGHT DOIN NASTY STUFF WITH THE NARTH CARAMALINER PLAYERS? (laffs) DID KENNY JOHNSON SHOW UP AND START HANDIN OUT HOUSE PAYMENT MONEY TO THEM TURD HEEL PLAYER PARENTS? (laffs) I WAS JUST KIDDIN ON FRIDEE WHEN I SAID I WAS PULLIN FOR THE TURD HEELSā¦US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS HATE NARTH CARAMALINER. BUT WE ALSO HATE YāALL SO ITāS TOO BAD IT WERENāT A TIE! (laffs)
Coach Cal done flipped his noodle thinkin’ Cat fans would welcome Slick Rick back in Rupp
THE BEASMAN coach cal is crazy LARRY, WE NEED A SHRINK OVER HERE AT U UH KAY TO GIVE COACH CAL A CHECKUP FROM THE NECK UP! DADGUMMIT, COACH CAL SAID HE WANTS SLICK RICK PITEENER TO COME BACK TO U UH KAY AND THAT CAT FANS WOULD BE NICE TO HIM. WHAT KIND OF CRAZY TAWK IS THAT? DID COACH CAL FALL AND HIT HIS HEAD? AND GUYS LIKE OSCAR COMBS AND JOHN CLAY FROM THE HARK THE HERALD LEADER AGREE WITH CAL. HAS THE WORLD GONE OFF ITS NUT? Coach Cal thinks it's time to bring @RealPitino back to Lexington and recognize all he did for the program. Calipari thinks UK fans would
Cats crush Cards and The Beasman claims Brohm and Rondale ain’t a-comin’
THE BEASMAN cats crush cards TOUCHDOWWWWWWNNNNNN KENTUCKY! (laffs) THE CATS IS STILL OUT THERE SCORIN, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, CROOKED TEETH, CROWN ROYAL FOR BREAKFAST, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, GUTLESS LOSERVILLE THUGS! TOUCHDOWWWWNNNN KENTUCKY! AND THEY IS GOIN FOR TWO AFTER EVER TOUCHDOWN CUZ LOSERVILLE CAINT STOP A TODDLER FROM GETTING TO THE END ZONE! (laffs) I HOPE YOU U OF SMELLERS FINALLY ACCEPT YOUR FATE AS LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES. YāALL COULDNāT BEAT A DIVISION 3 TEAM OF CROSS-EYED COMPUTER NERDS. (laffs) I HEARD JEFF BROHM JUST KISSED HIS PURDUE BOSS ON THE MOUTH AND SAID āPLEASE LET ME STAY. I CAINT DO NOTHIN TO FIX THAT LOSERVILLE DUMPSTER FIRE!ā SO THEN PURDUE CUT JEFF
100% chance of a Blue Wave beatdown, Beasman chants DEAD MAN WALKING!
(laffs) TELL THE CARDINAL STADIUM CREW TO PUT ALL NEW LIGHTBULBS IN THE SCOREBOARD CUZ THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS BOUT TO LIGHT IT UP LIKE A CALIFARNIA WILDFIRE! (laffs) IF THEM CRABBY OLD PEOPLE THINK TOP GOLF IS TOO BRIGHT, THEY SURE AINāT GONNA LIKE HOW STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TORCH U OF SMELL! (laffs) LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS COMIN TO YOUR GHETTO TOWN TO FINALLY PUT THEM LOSERVILLE CARDINALS OUTTA THEIR MISERY. THAT TEMPORARY COACH WAS SO BAD THAT BOBBY PETRINO AST HIM TO BECOME ANOTHER SON-IN-LAW. (laffs) THAT NEW COACH IS SO WORTHLESS THAT U OF SMELL TRIED TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER $14 MILLION TO GO AWAY. (laffs) LARRY,
Beasman calls best team, Krzyzewski face, UofL fan necks: Cats, rats, and tats
THE BEASMAN cats lose but loserville slaughtered DONāT YOU EVEN START IN ON ME ABOUT U UH KAY LOSING, YOU CROSS-EYED, BUCK TEETH, BALD HAIR, STINKBREATH U OF SMELL APOLOGIST. DADGUMMIT, YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL CONVICTS LOST BY 400 POINTS, THE WORST BEATDOWN IN U OF SMELL HISTREE BUCEPT FOR THAT TIME IN WORLD WAR TWO THE JAPPER-NESE BOMBED CARDINAL STADIUM. YāALL CARDINAL FANS OUGHT TO RISE UP AND THROW BOBBY PETRINKO OUT IN THE STREET AND CHASE HIM OUTTA TOWN LIKE U UH KAY DONE TO BILL CURRY, JERRY CLAIBONE, RICH BROOKS, HAL DUMMY, GUY MORRIS, AND THE JOKER. DONāT YāALL CARDINAL IDIOTS KNOW HOW TO FIRE A FOOTBAW COACH? YOU JUST MOVE HIS OFFICE TO THE TARLIT ROOM