THE BEASMAN cats lose to LSU T-T-T-TELL ME IT WAS ALL A BAD DREAM! (long cry) I CAINT GIT OUTTA BED TODAY C-C-C-C CUZ MY PRECIOUS KENTUCKY WILDCATS LOSTED LAST NIGHT. (cry) THAT NASTY L.S.U. PLAYER DID A 360 DUNK AT THE FINAL BUZZER TO MOCK THE CATS EVEN MORE! (cry) WHY, GOD, WHY? (cry) THE G-G-G-GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS GOT DISRESPECTERCATED DOWN THERE AT L.S.U. (cry) THE CATS WAS LEADING BY 9 POINTS WITH TWO MINUTES LEFT AND THEN (cry) ALL HADES BROKE LOOSE! (long cry) THEM L.S.U. THUGS STARTED HITTING BIG SHOTS AND WE DINT HAVE NO TY TY OR NO SAVIOR TO HELP US! TY TY GOT THE CRAMP CRAMPS AND THE SAVIOR GOT HIS JAW JACKED
Tag: college rivals
“LOSERVILLE THUGS IS TOO BUSY LOOTIN STORES AND SHOOTIN EACH OTHER IN THE STREETS TO SHOW UP FOR FOOTBAW GAMES” – The Beasman predicts a UK dominant crowd for the Kentucky vs Louisville football game
THE BEASMAN hate week AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (long laff) IT’S HATE WEEK, CAT FANS, AND US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS HATE ONE TEAM MORE THAN ANY OTHER TEAM…THEM STINKY, NECK TATTOO, DOPE SMOKIN, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, STRIPPER POLE LOVIN, LYIN, CHEATIN, PLAYBOOK STEALING LOSERVILLE CARDINAL CONVICTS! (laffs) Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs) THE WHOLE STATE HATES LOSERVILLE! WE HATE YOUR SCHOOL, YOUR CRIME, YOUR TRASH, AND YOUR MAMAS! (laffs) Y’ALLS CRIME INFESTED TOWN IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO BLUEGRASS COUNTRY! GOVERNOR BESHEAR, A WILDCAT FAN, TRIED TO SELL Y’ALL TO INJIANNER! (laffs) INJIANNER SAID “NO THANKS. WE’D RATHER TAKE CHICAGO CUZ THEY GOT LESS KILLINGS!” (laffs) TO GIT RID OF MURDER CITY, JUST DIG THE
Georgia handles UK and The Beasman accuses U of Smell of trying to steal the Wildcats’ thunder
THE BEASMAN cats still better than almost everybody YOU MAKE ME SICK WITH ALL YOUR TAWKIN ABOUT THE U UH KAY WILDCATS LOSIN TO JARJUH! JUST SHUT YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH MOUTH ABOUT THAT GAME CUZ IT’S OLD NEWS, LARRY MINNER! THE CATS IS 6 AND 1, NOT NO 3 AND 3 LIKE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER CARDINAL WEAK BEAK BEE-OTCHES! (laffs) YOU AND ALL YOUR CARDINAL NECK TATTOO, LIQUOR BREATH, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, DRUG THUG LOSERVILLE FANS AIN’T GOT SQUAT TO CHEER ABOUT CUZ Y’ALL’S SCHOOL IS NC2A VIOLATION STATION! (laffs) CHRIS MACK GONNA GIT FIRED ANY DAY NOW FOR TAPE RECORDIN EXTORTION AND TRYIN TO PAY OFF HIS ACCUSER! (laffs) YOUR FOOTBAW TEAM IS SO PATHETIC THAT Y’ALL POST VIDEOS ABOUT
Kentucky beats Florida 🏈 couches are burned 🔥 Beasman is juiced😼
A party in Lexington 35 years in the making … #ForTheTeam Chapter Five 😼🏈 pic.twitter.com/c3h3ZQ0Nd1 — Kentucky Football (@UKFootball) October 7, 2021 KENTUCKY FOOTBALL IS A THING! The Kentucky Wildcats jumped from #31 to #16 in the Associated Press poll after a hard fought victory over #10 Florida. It was Kentucky's first home victory over the Gators since 1986. Street party couch burnings went on until the wee hours. UK is now 5-0 and welcoming a struggling LSU squad into Kroger Field on Saturday night. In a rare departure from oddsmaker behavior, Kentucky is a 2 point favorite. Finish the play. Finish the game. Finish what you start. Do that, and anything can happen. pic.twitter.com/XVBvTWTo9F — LSU Football (@LSUfootball) October 7, 2021 THE BEASMAN florida goes down LATER GATOR! LATER GATOR! LATER
Gun-tucky Wildcats arrested, Beasman begs U of Smell to take the blame
THE BEASMAN six wildcats arrested I AIN’T HAD A WINK O SLEEP WORRYIN IF ANY MORE KENTUCKY WILDCATS GONNA GIT SENT TO THE POKEY! (cry) I BOUT HADDA STROKE WHEN THEY SAID 6 U UH KAY FOOTBAW PLAYERS POINTED A GUN AT A LOYAL TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FAN. I MEAN, IF THEY WAS PISTOL WHIPPIN A LOSERVILLE CARDINAL FAN, I COULD TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. BUT NAW…WE GOT US A BONER-FIED BIG BLUE BOO HOO! US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS LOVE TAUNTIN OTHER SCHOOLS WHEN THEY’S IN TROUBLE. BUT CATS POINTIN GUNS AT OTHER CATS AIN’T GONNA WIN US THE NOBEL PRIEST PRIZE. (cry) OUR CLASSY CAT PLAYERS DONE BEAT UP SOME FRATERNITY PUNK BUT HE IS A WILDCAT FRATERNITY PUNK SO WE
The Beasman is stunned by the NBA draft aversion to choosing Wildcats
THE BEASMAN nba draft disaster IT’S ANOTHER DARK DAY IN WILDCAT COUNTRY, LARRY MINNER! (cry) WHAT KIND OF DRUGS IS THEM NBA COACHES SNIFFIN? I WAS SETTIN THERE LAST NIGHT BU-SPECTIN THE FIRST 3 PICKS TO BE THE U UH KAY KENTUCKY WILDCATS, RIGHT? Y’ALL BOUT TO PICK I-ZAYER JACKSON FIRST! THEN GONNA BE BRANDO BOSTON! NEXT COME OLIVIER SARR FROM U UH KAY! (cry) BUT NAWWWW! EVER TIME THAT BALD HAIRED, MEERKAT LOOKIN NBA COMMISH-NER WALKED UP TO THE PODIUM HE WOULD CALL OUT THE NAME OF A LOSER FROM SOME OTHER SCHOOL, NOT KENTUCKY! (cry) THEY TOOK GUYS FROM OKLAHOMO STATE, GONZAGGER, STANFORD, ALAMBAMMER, THE MEMPHIS Y.M.C.A. AND EVEN DADGUM TENNERSEE! THEY PICKED A DADGUM PUKE ARNGE TENNERSEE GUY
Coach Cal got his groove back with new ass-sister coaches! Beasman is stoked for the CAT COMEBACK!
THE BEASMAN new UK coaches I HEARED YOU ON THERE A-MOCKIN THAT NEW U UH KAY BASKETBAW COACH “THE CHIN” FOR SAYIN MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY GOOD TIMES IS A-COMIN TO BIG BLUE NATION! LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHIN, YOU BALD HAIRED, STINKBREATH, PENCIL NECK, NOT FUNNY, OVERRATED, SNAGGLE TOOTH LOUDMOUTH U OF SMELL BUTTKISSIN NOBODY…IF THE CHIN EVER CATCHES YOU OFF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN WHERE YOU LIVE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK, THE CHIN SAYS HE’S GONNA KNOCK THEM LAST TWO HAIRS OFF YOUR PUMPKIN HEAD! (laffs) Chin already working hard. Let’s let the good times roll! #BBN x #LaFamilia pic.twitter.com/bLvhWwnw4W— Kentucky Basketball (@KentuckyMBB) May 6, 2021 DON’T YOU LOWDOWN U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS GO A-MAWKIN
Louisville snubbed for March Madness, Beasman giddily taunts Cardinal fraud Larry Minner 🏀
THE BEASMAN #1 u of l denied ncaa tourney berth AWWWW M-I-T-C-H! MITCH! MITCH! MITCH! (laffs) MITCH BARNHART IS THE GREATEST KENTUCKY WILDCAT LEADER EVER! (laffs) WE NEED TO GIVE MITCH BARNHART A RAISE FOR PUNCHIN LOSERVILLE IN THE MOUTH AND KNOCKIN EM OUT OF THE NC2A TOURNEYMINT! (laffs) I AIN’T STOPPED CHUCKLIN SINCE THEY ANNOUNCED THE BRACKETS! (laffs) ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WAS SAD ABOUT BEIN ONE-AND-DONE IN THE S.E.C. TOURNEYMINT BUT THEN MITCH BARNFART SHOCKED EVERBODY BY TELLIN LOSERVILLE TO TAKE A SEAT! (laffs) I BETCHA CHRIS MACK WEREN’T MAKIN NO SMART ALECK VIDEOS DOWN IN HIS BASEMENT BAR WITH ERIC WOODHEAD! (laffs) Y’ALL AIN’T MOCKIN U UH KAY NO MORE, IS YOU, YOU NOBODY WORTHLESS
WINTER BEATDOWN: the Snow Bully plow master Beasman terrorizes Larry Minner
Heavy snow falls. The solemn duty of shoveling the driveway becomes Job One. After a brutal hour of pushing away the frozen encumbrance, a drive by plow dumps another load of street snow all over your freshly cleaned private drive. What the what? It turned out the Snow Bully was my buddy The Beasman. He called me on the radio to laugh at my shoveling misery. LISTEN #GoCats #BBN #LarryMinner #NoCountLoservilleLover CATS WIN! CATS WIN! The Beasman sends a special shoutout to Ashley Judd for letting a gorilla snap her lucky wishbone so that the Cats could start winning again! 🏀 #840WHAS For the uninitiated, University of Kentucky superfan The Beasman loves to taunt U of Smell lover Larry Minner on
Coach Cal’s lifetime contract is sucking the life out of The Beasman
THE BEASMAN calipari lifetime contract SHUT YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH MOUTH, LARRY MINNER! I AIN’T IN NO MOOD FOR JOSHIN’ WITH YOU U OF SMELL BUTTKISSERS. Y’ALL CARDINALS CAINT SMIRK CUZ Y’ALL IS ON BASKETBAW PAUSE CUZ Y’ALL DISEASED UP WITH THE S.T.D.s. BUT AMERICA DON’T CARE! AMERICA WANTS TO SEE THEIR HERO KENTUCKY WILDCATS! TROUBLE IS…WE GO OUT THERE AND SUCK AGAIN! (cry) MY WILDCATS SUCK THE SUCKIEST SUCK IN THE HISTREE OF U UH KAY BASKETBAW. IT’S TRUE. BIG BLUE IS 5 AND 12 AND IT FEELS LIKE WE IS 5 AND 5 HUNDERD. (cry) I CAINT BLEEVE THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS DONE SUNK LOWER’N A SNAKE’S BELLY. AFTER LOSIN TO THEM MOONSHINE SWILLIN, SISTER KISSIN TENNERSEE HILLBILLIES, OL COACH CAL