radio sketch, Tuesday, December 19, 2017 THE BEASMAN wisdom teeth drugs (laffs) HEY LARRY! I JUST WATCHED THAT VIDEO OF THE GIRL WHO’S ALL HIGH AFTER GITTIN HER WISDOM TOOTHS TOOK OUT. SHE STARTS CRYING WHEN HER MAMA TELLS HER SHE GOES TO U OF SMELL AND SO SHE SAYS “GO CATS…Ls DOWN!” (laffs) SHE IS ASHAMED SHE HAD TO GO TO U OF SMELL FOR GRADUMAGATE SCHOOL. (laffs) THAT MADE ME LAFF REAL HARD, LARRY. when I found out I go to Louisville after getting my wisdom teeth out ?? pic.twitter.com/kcxdOGsiDV— Haley Tye (@_haykathryn) December 15, 2017 EVEN WITHOUT HER WISDOM TEEF, SHE IS SOMEONE STILL VERY WISE. (laffs) IT JUST
Tag: college rivalry
The Beasman don’t wanna live in a world where his Cats lose to them Dirty Birds
THE BEASMAN cats lose (1) (crying) I HOPE YOU DIE SOON, LARRY. (crying) I HEAR YOU A-S-S-S-S-SMIRKIN BOUT U UH KAY’S P-P-P-PAIN. ONLY A LOWDOWN, TOOTHLESS, B-B-B-B-BRAINLESS U OF SMELL SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO THUG LIKE YOU HAS THE AUDACERATION TO MOCK US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WHILE WE IS DOWN. (crying) YOU SUCK, LARRY. (crying) POOR LITTLE WILDCAT KIDS COULDN’T GO BACK TO SCHOOL THIS MARNIN CUZ THEY’S DEE-PRESSED. (crying) MOST OF THE GROWED UP WILDCAT FANS BEEN DRUNK SINCE HALFWAY THROUGH THE THIRD QUARTER WHEN WE ALL LEFT THE STADIUM TO CRY IN THE PARKIN’ LOT. (crying) NOBODY BURNT UP NO COUCHES. NOBODY GOT TO SPRAYPAINT CUSS WORDS ON THE SIDE OF
During its most tumultuous year ever, the University of Louisville still found joy in Lamar
Lamar Jackson was doing more Lamar Jackson things for @UofLFootball today. pic.twitter.com/W1dk4xttT6— ACC Digital Network (@theACCDN) November 25, 2017 Lamar Jackson kept Louisville from a complete crash-and-burn during its parade of basketball and academic scandals. Thank God for Lamar. His complete domination of UK in the regular season finale was brilliant. .@uoflfootball celebrates their win over #Kentucky in the #GovernorsCup game. @KYNewsNet @840WHAS @KYNewsNet @CardsRadio pic.twitter.com/Mb9JocNtwq— Will Clark (@WClark840WHAS) November 25, 2017 And Lamar's brilliance shone all season. The best ever!!! @Lj_era8 @UofLFootball @HeismanTrophy #RingTheBell pic.twitter.com/KBf2jG0W3N— Bobby Petrino (@CoachPetrinoUL) November 22, 2017 ======= My prediction from earlier in the week ======= Saturday marks the end of Lamar's regular season career at UofL. My prediction is that Lamar has
The Beasman revels in UofL’s misery, hopes Larry Minner gets fired and replaced by Matt Jones
The Beasman has been giggling for three weeks as he watches UofL's meltdown continue. Rick's gone and now Tommy J has been voted out. Could a three-fer bring the end of the Larry Minner show with Matt Jones finally landing on WHAS? Sorry, little buddy. Hold that cardboard box for at least one more week. Matt Jones and Tony Vanetti are still lawyering up to answer claims by groupies that they like to watch each other shower.
Wednesday is the Turd Day of the week
radio script THE BEASMAN go north caramaliner GO TURD HEELS! GO TURD HEELS! BEAT THAT VILLE! BEAT THAT VILLE! LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! I BET YOU WAS UP LATE LAST NIGHT PULLIN REAL HARD FOR MIZZOU TO UPSET THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS SO I’S JUST RETURNIN THE FLAVOR. GO TURD HEELS! GO TURD HEELS! KENTUCKY BLUE LOVES CARAMALINER BLUE TONIGHT! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GOT US A LUMPY VICTREE OVER MISS-OOR-UH LASS NIGHT BUT A WIN IS A WIN. WE’LL TAKE IT, DADGUMMIT! COACH CAL GOT A T. DE-ANDREA FOX WAS DOWN ON THE GROUND AND LOOKIN BROKE. BUT BAM AND DOM AND WILL AND MONK AND DRAKE
The Cal Cast: united we stand after all
THE BEASMAN January 19. 2017 I BEEN SICK TO MY STOMACH ALL DAY LISSENIN’ TO COACH CAL’S PRODCAST TAWKIN TO THAT LOWDOWN U OF SMELL TRAITOR TURNCOAT SLICK RICK. HERE I WAS ALL BUCITED THAT COACH CAL WAS FINALLY GONNA GIT ON THE PRODCAST RADIO STATION AND RIP A NEW ONE INTO THAT NO COUNT U OF SMELL COACH BUT NAWWWWW….THEY WAS TAWKIN ALL SWEETY-PIE TO EACH OTHER. “YOU IS SO GREAT.” “THANK YOU, AND YOU IS SO GREAT, TOO.” BARF! I TUNED IN HOPIN IT WAS GONNA BE COACH CAL LAUGHIN AT SLICK RICK’S BALD SPOT AND HOW U UH KAY DOMMERATES THEM LITTLE BROTHER CARDINAL CRYBABIES ALMOST EVER TIME! AND COACH CAL
Nothing could be finer than beating Carolina in prime time
THE BEASMAN north carolina is in town (WHAS Radio segment, runs 4:45 PM, February 1, 2016) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LARRY…WHAT IS Y’ALL SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE CHECK, GOLD TOOTH, STRIPPER POLE, TARC BUS RIDIN, OBAMA PHONE, PROSTITUTE HIRIN U OF SMELL FRAUDS GONNA DO TONIGHT AGAINST NARTH CARAMALINER? YOU KNOW YOU GONNA GIT CRUSHED LIKE A BUG SO WHY DON’T SLICK RICK THROW IN THE TOWEL RIGHT NOW? HE SAID THE BIG MAN WAS REAL SICK THE OTHER DAY WHEN NOBODY VIRGINNY THROWED Y’ALL AROUND LIKE A PIT BULL CHEWIN A RAG DOLL. --------------------WHAT IN THE SAM HILL YOU THINK ROY WILLIAMS AND THE TURD HEELS GONNA DO TO Y’ALL TONIGHT? IT’LL PROBLEE BE A HUNDERD TO NOTHIN
2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits a hooker
Surely you have heard that the University of Louisville basketball program is mired in an alleged sex scandal. A prostitute claims that she was paid by team staff member Andre McGee to provide female escorts for players, recruits, and sometimes the fathers of recruits. If true, and if the prostitute's claims that her own underage daughters were sometimes involved, massive federal charges related to sex trafficking on a public university campus would send the sports world into a Penn State Sandusky fervor and forever stain the careers of many prominent University of Louisville leaders. Early speculation is that head coach Rick Pitino will keep his job. (I've known Pitino for 25 years and my best guess is that he
A surprising win brings The Beasman gamecockiness
THE BEASMAN 10/6/14 YOU AND ALL YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL CONVICT FRIENDS GOT TO BE SICK TO YOUR STOMACH WORRIED ABOUT WHAT U UH KAY FOOTBAW GONNA DO TO YOU NEXT MONTH. Y’ALL CAINT FARFIT NOW, LOSERVILLE, YOU GOTTA PLAY THE CATS AND TAKE YOUR LUMPIN’. NOW GIT ON THE RADIO AND TAWK UP U UH KAY FOOTBAW, YOU BALD HAIRED TRAITOR TURNCOAT. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS DONE GONE ON A S.E.C. WINNIN STREAK AND YOU AINT HARDLY TAWKED ABOUT IT TODAY. OH, BUT YOU GOT TIME TO TAWK ABOUT THROWING A BAW 40 YARDS TO YOUR DAUGHTER. I BET YOUR WIFE THROWED THAT BAW BECAUSE A PENCIL NECK GEEK SISSY SLICK RICK BOYFRIEND NANCY BOY
It’s always basketball season in Kentucky
Securing the 2013 NCAA Championship for Louisville occurred late in the first half when Luke Hancock popped four 3-pointers and Montrezl Harrell slammed a monster dunk to take the lead and the momentum. On April 14, 2014, both Harrell and Kentucky's Willie Cauley-Stein announced that they would return to their respective schools to play another college basketball season. Rejoicing could be heard across the Commonwealth of Kentucky, where UK's marvelous 2014 campaign ended with a disappointing loss to UConn. With the returns of Harrell and Cauley-Stein, hope springs eternal. For the most ardent fans, lessons are learned.