THE BEASMAN 30 for 30 AINT NO SECRET I BEEN SLEEPIN IN A TENT ON THE SIDEWALK OUTSIDE MEMORIAL COLLER-SEUM WAITIN ON NEXT SEASON’S MIDNIGHT MADNESS TICKETS. WELL I AINT THERE NO MORE BUT NOT MY FAULT. THEM EASTER STARMS COME RUMBLIN THROUGH HERE AND THIS COP COMES ALONG AND SAYS “BEASMAN, I CAINT LET YOU KEEP THIS TENT HERE CUZ IF A LIGHTNIN BOLT HITS THAT K-FLAG UP ON TOP YOU GONNA GIT FRIED LIKE BACON.” SO HE SENT ME HOME AND TODE ME TO COME BACK IN SEPTEMBER WHEN THEY HAND OUT THE TICKETS. SO I COME HOME AND GOT CAUGHT UP ON EVERTHANG. DADGUMMIT, I WATCHED ME THAT 30 + 30 THING ON COACH CAL
Tag: college basketball
McConnell confirms his intention to use the nuclear option to confirm SCOTUS nominee Neil Grouch
U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell confirms that he is prepared to use the so-called nuclear option, changing traditional rules of the Senate to allow for a simple majority vote to confirm U.S. Supreme Court nominee Judge Neil Gorsuch. In a WHAS radio interview with me, McConnell noted that the longstanding tradition of requiring a supermajority of 60 aye votes was overrun in 2013 by then-majority leader Sen. Harry Reid. Democrats point out that Reid's use of the nuclear option was to advance lower court appointments, not Supreme Court nominees. Here is the entire WHAS interview, which also covers whether superpowers should intervene following Syrian chemical attacks, if GOP in-fighting will wither 2018 election hopes, health care upgrades, tax reform, and
Wednesday is the Turd Day of the week
radio script THE BEASMAN go north caramaliner GO TURD HEELS! GO TURD HEELS! BEAT THAT VILLE! BEAT THAT VILLE! LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! I BET YOU WAS UP LATE LAST NIGHT PULLIN REAL HARD FOR MIZZOU TO UPSET THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS SO I’S JUST RETURNIN THE FLAVOR. GO TURD HEELS! GO TURD HEELS! KENTUCKY BLUE LOVES CARAMALINER BLUE TONIGHT! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GOT US A LUMPY VICTREE OVER MISS-OOR-UH LASS NIGHT BUT A WIN IS A WIN. WE’LL TAKE IT, DADGUMMIT! COACH CAL GOT A T. DE-ANDREA FOX WAS DOWN ON THE GROUND AND LOOKIN BROKE. BUT BAM AND DOM AND WILL AND MONK AND DRAKE
Cards top Cats 73-70 guaranteeing Blue Christmas
UofL played a terrific game against a talent-heavy Kentucky squad, relieving pressure on what's been a lopsided rivalry. Big win for Louisville. Great night for Quentin Snider & Deng Adel vs UK's vaunted guard tandem of Malik Monk and De'Aaron Fox. My radio buddy The Beasman isn't happy about his Cats, his Coach, or his Christmas. Along with Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson, Louisville Ballard alum Quentin "Q" Snider both became the toasts of the holiday season on Planet Red. One little Q down in Louville knew... this Christmas would not be blue#L1C4 pic.twitter.com/RqR8d6Eqn2— Terry Meiners (@terrymeiners) December 22, 2016 THE BEASMAN cats lose to cards (sad with sniffles) MAYBE COACH CAL SHOULDA STOLE YOUR PLAYBOOK, YOU BUNCH OF CROSS-EYED, TWO-BIT, GOD-HATIN
The Beasman: God smites Cards for playbook theft, Cats shock the world
radio scripts for Monday, November 28, 2016 THE BEASMAN #1 it’s over OH BOO HOO HOOOOO! KEEP CRYIN’ YOUR CARDINAL TEARS…THEY’RE DELICIOUS! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS! KEEP BURNIN THEM COUCHES, CAT FANS! THIS HERE IS BIGGER ‘EN CHRISTMAS! U UH KAY DONE SLAYED THE EVIL CARDINAL DEMONS! STEPHEN JOHNSON FOR HEISMAN! MARK STOOPS FOR S.E.C. COACH OF THE YEAR! U UH KAY WILDCATS FOR THE PLAYOFFS! BOOM WILLIAMS FOR PLAYER OF THE YEAR! AWWWW BLUE! WHITE! BLUE! WHITE! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) IT’S FINALLY OVER FOR YOU LOWDOWN, SAGGY PANTS, BACKWARDS CAP, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GANG BANG, U OF SMELL CARDINAL POSERS. YOU DONE BEEN EXPOSED BY THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! AIN’T NO
A U of L playoff is way off
THE BEASMAN Louisville football hammered HEY LARRRRRRREEEEEEEE! LARRY MINNERRRRR! YOUR CARDINAL TEARS IS DELICIOUS! THE BOOGER WAS RIGHT! NO PLAYOFFS FOR YOUR CARDINAL FRAUDS! CANCEL THE HEISMAN TROPHY! HOUSTON DONE EXPOSED LAY-MAR JACKSON AND HIS LITTLE HOPELESS CARDINAL BIRDS AS OVERRATED FRAUDS. OVERRATED! OVERRATED! LAY-MAR AINT GITTIN NO HEISMAN TROPHY…IT’S GOIN TO BOOM WILLIAMS. LAY-MAR GOT SACKED MORE THAN A KARDASHIAN ON A NBA TEAM BUS. AND YOUR OTHER GUYS WAS FUMBLIN ALL OVER THE PLACE. BUT I GOTTA TELL YA…Y’ALL GOT A GREAT PUNTER! (laff) HE WAS OUT THERE KICKIN LIKE A RADIO CITY ROCKETTE. KICK IT AGAIN, PUNTER MAN. IT’S THE ONLY YARDAGE U OF SMELL CAN MUSTER
High holy season returns to Kentucky
The joy quotient in the Commonwealth of Kentucky shoots through the ceiling every November when basketball season begins. It's a religion in the state. Other states celebrate Rhodes scholars changing the world. We celebrate sweaty teenagers who can dunk a ball or sprint with a pigskin. That's just who we are. >>>>>>>>>RADIO SCRIPT>>>>>>>>> THE BEASMAN tipoff luncheon air date 10-28-16 WELL, THERE’S YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK OUT THERE TO THE TIPOFF LUNCHEON TELLING HIS LIES AGAIN. “OHHH. U OF SMELL FANS IS GONNA BE HAPPY AGAIN CUZ WE GONNA GO OUT THERE AND WIN ANOTHER BANNER.” THAT’S A BUNCH OF HORSE PUCKEY. WHAT KIND OF BANNER IS THAT I-TALIAN MAFIA MAN TAWIN BOUT…A MEMORIAL BANNER FOR
Hoosier doozy
The Indiana Hoosiers beat the Kentucky Wildcats 73-67 in the second round of the NCAA Tournament, a very rare early departure for UK. Kentucky coach John Calipari was gracious in defeat, telling Indiana coach Tom Crean "I'm happy for you." Crean has been pilloried by IU fans in recent years for what they consider slow progress. 2015 gave us Crying Piccolo GirlNow, 2016 gives us...Crying Saxophone Girl. pic.twitter.com/f6x9ZRBOlp— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) March 19, 2016 A member of the UK band is the early frontrunner for Meme Queen of the Tournament The Crying Jordan meme was quickly pressed into service... ...generating bitterness from some sensitive UK fans. Louisville fans are reveling in schadenfreude, or enjoying the misery of others. Kentucky fans have
UK – either beasts of the east or Hoosier meat
THE BEASMAN cats vs hoosiers SHUT YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH MOUTH ABOUT U UH KAY GONNA HAVE TO PLAY THEM NASTY INJIANNER HOOSIER DADDIES. WE AIN’T AFRAID OF NO TOM CREAM AND YOGI THE BEAR. THEM INJIANNER FANS IS A BUNCH OF COURT STORMIN’ LITTLE BROTHERS WHO WISH THEY WAS KENTUCKY. BRING ‘EM ON, DADGUMMIT. U UH KAY OPENS AGAINST THE STONEYBROOK THEATER USHERS AND INJIANNER GOT CHATTERNOOGA CHOO CHOO. SO WE IS BOTH GONNA WIN. LET’S GO AHEAD AND PLAY A DOUBLEHEADER THURSDEE NIGHT AND GIT IT OVER WITH. BIG BLUE NATION CAN SEND THEM INJIANNER OLD TIMEY CANDY STRIPER SISSIES PACKIN FOR HOME ON OPENIN NIGHT. U UH KAY GONNA WIN
Cards shine in the final flurry before March Sadness
With no postseason ahead, the Louisville Cardinals have to dominate the end of their regular season. Duke came to town. Louisville roared back in the second half to win by 7. With no March Madness, this is February Gladness.